Illusive Perception
by Detective Olivia Stabler
Summary: An undercover honeymoon assignment to take down a rapist puts El & Liv a little too close for comfort. What will happen when they are forced to face the feelings they have kept hidden all of these years? THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN NO ACTUAL RAPE SCENES.
1. 1 The Assignment

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter One: The Assignment)_

Elliot watched her as she stood across the room fixing the strap on her shoe. Her long tan legs stretched to heaven and back as his eyes followed them up to meet the thigh high slit in the sexy white gown she wore. The gown fit her body perfectly, with its sweetheart neckline and rows of beaded and sequined appliqués. And the silver straps that crossed over the golden skin of her back.

Olivia raised her eyes to catch him staring at her from across the room. She smiled and pressed her lips together as she made her way to his side in her super sexy dress that screamed _**I am female.**_

"So tell me again why your wife is not your date to this?" She asked with a smile.

"I got the tickets. You know, it is for charity. Then we started having problems. She doesn't like me much right now."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. She'll be fine. We'll be fine. In a week this will all be in the past. And it will be back to normal. Until we fight again. It is kind of our thing."

"It is, huh? I still cannot imagine any woman passing up the chance to attend one of these over an argument."

"Trust me, it's better this way. Kathy and I would have been miserable if we had gone to this thing together tonight. Besides, she isn't really a dress up in an expensive dress and got to a ball kind of girl."

"What does that mean?" Olivia tipped her head and stared into him with her big brown eyes.

"It means, the last time I saw Kathy in a dress was at our wedding twenty two years ago. She isn't a make up and dress up kind of girl. She's more blue jeans and tee shirts. Not like you."

She blinked her pretty eyes demanding an explanation.

"Don't give me that look. You know what I mean."

"What exactly do you mean?"

"I mean, you are more into having your hair and nails done," he said raising her hand to look at her French manicure. "You are more of a girly, girl. Even at work. You are strapped with a badge and a gun and your hair is neatly tucked into place and your make up perfect. You just pride yourself in your appearance, that's all."

"Well, I am sure it would be a little harder to keep up with things like getting my nails done if I had five children to look after. Give her a break, El."

"I love her, Liv. I didn't mean anything by it. I am just saying Kathy isn't really interested in stuff like this. She didn't even want to go to prom with me in high school. Of course she was four months pregnant with Maureen."

Olivia smiled at his attempt to be funny. "And you are sure she isn't going to mind me going with you instead?"

"She doesn't mind. Of course if she saw you in that dress, my divorce papers would be as good as filed."

Olivia smiled. "You like it?"

"You look amazing."

"Thank you. You are not so bad yourself," she said straightening the tie from his tuxedo. "You know, you are going to have to dance with me?"

"Dance?"

"Elliot, it is a black and white ball. People dance at a ball. It will be fun."

"It is dinner and a little dancing, then at midnight I turn back into a pumpkin."

Olivia smiled again. "It wont be that bad, Elliot."

"Let's go Cinderella," Elliot said extending his arm for her to take. "We don't want to be late for the ball."

They sat at a table in a large ballroom. Dining with city officials and other detectives and officers from different departments across the city. After dinner they danced together.

"Look at him. Eating this up," Elliot said nodding his head in Brian Cassidy's direction.

Olivia smiled. "Cassidy is here with a date, Elliot."

"Right, but he cant take his eyes off you. He's still hung up on you, you know."

"I have no control over that. It isn't like I provoke it."

"Do you blame the guy?"

She exhaled. "It isn't like we even dated. It was one night. If I had known he was going to follow me around like a little lost puppy for the rest of my life, I never would have let it go that far. He has finally gotten over it. He has moved on, Elliot."

"He transferred departments, Olivia. It isn't the same thing."

"I am just saying, I really don't think he has a thing for me anymore."

"And I am just saying that if that blonde on his arm could see the looks he was shooting you over her back…"

"Zip it Stabler. We're here to have a good time and raise a little money for charity. Not to talk about my love life…. or lack there of."

Across the room Cragen sat at a table of his old poker buddies. A group of head honchos from other precincts in the area making small talk. As they were talking one of the men made a comment about how Detective Stabler and his wife seemed to be having a good time.

"Well, I am glad that you think so. But that is not Detective Stabler's wife. That is Detective Olivia Benson. His partner."

"They are close," the man said. "Good chemistry. To look at them you would never know they weren't a couple."

"They have worked together for many years. They are like family."

"I have a proposition for you. My department is working a case. And I would like to borrow your detectives, those detectives, for a little undercover detail."

"What kind of detail?"

"It would require them to live as a newlywed couple for a few days. Just long enough for us to get some inside information on a suspect. I can have a copy of the case file sent to you in the morning. I, of course can loan your department a couple of bodies until you get your detectives back."

"Don't you have anyone you can send in?"

"I have tried. Believe me I have tried. But none I have seen have been as convincing as those two. And they work together. So they trust each other. And they make quite an attractive couple. Come on Cragen, it would be a big favor. I'll owe you one."

"Send me the file. Give me some kind of idea what I am committing them to and then we will talk."

The next morning Cragen called them into his office. They took their usual seats in front of the desk and watched him as he flipped through a file that had been sent to him from another precinct.

"I have an offer for the two of you. Not an offer, really. A job, an assignment. Undercover. I have already accepted."

Olivia leaned forward intrigued as Elliot groaned and mumbled something about the case they were already working on.

"Munch and Fin will take over your caseload for now. This should only take a few days. You will be working with the two seven on this case. They have been so close to getting this guy for a while and he hasn't taken the bait."

"So now we're the bait?" Elliot scoffed.

Cragen glared in his direction and laid the file down on the desk in front of them.

"Our suspect is hotel mogul and billionaire Drake DeLuca. He himself is best known for his chain of fancy hotels, including several here in New York. But his family owns several top quality restaurants as well and one brother is a famous attorney to the stars out in L.A."

"What exactly do we want him for?" Elliot asked.

"Rape," Cragen replied clearing his throat. "Four, that we know of."

"So this billionaire gets his rocks off raping women?" Elliot shook his head. "With his money and power he could have any woman he wanted."

"Rape isn't always about sex, Elliot. You know that." Olivia looked up at him from the file. "For him, my guess would be control. He feeds his ego on the power trip he gets from controlling other people."

"He makes these women drop to their knees and beg him not to harm them. While he is raping them he talks all sweet to them telling them how beautiful they are and making them tell him how good he is, how much they want him and how lucky they are to be with him. Stroke his ego. It is definitely about power for him."

"So how does he operate?" Elliot asked, curious to see exactly what it was he and Olivia were expected to do.

"He attacks guests at the Ivy. Women staying there on their honeymoon. He usually picks out his couples in the dining room. Wealthy couples. The women covered in expensive jewelry and labels, the men usually too busy to notice. Husbands are successful business men, always working, even on their honeymoon. He starts out by sending a complimentary bottle of champagne at dinner. A few hours later he arrives at the couples table and offers them a free upgrade to the penthouse suite. A room on the roof that never rent out. It is reserved for other billionaires and celebrity guests only. Over a few days he showers the couple with gifts and gets friendly with them. Then he waits."

"Waits for what?" Elliot asked.

"For the new hubby to get called off to business or some meeting he can't get out of. Sometimes it is a work out in the hotel's extravagant gym with a personal trainer. Something where he knows hubby will be gone for a while, allowing him at least an hour or two alone with the new wife. He will send a signal from the front desk to reset the code for the door of the room so the husbands key wont work. He arrives at the room with another bottle of champagne and tells the wife the clerk made a mistake on the registration for the room. He asks her to correct the paperwork. By this time, she usually sees him as a friend and lets him in. If she doesn't, he uses the master key to get into the room. And he attacks her. Raping her right there in the bed where she spent her first night as a new bride."

"What a freak," Olivia said crossing her arms in front of her.

"It is about the power. About control. And about taking something that belongs to someone else. In some sick way for him it is more about hurting the husbands than raping the wives. But he always uses a condom. So we have no DNA. No solid proof. Just testimony from the four women he raped."

"What about a line up?" Olivia asked.

"They tried that. He must have gotten to them somehow. Because none of the women were able to identify him in the line up. They know it is him. They just have to find a way to get him. They have tried this with three other couples. But apparently they weren't to his liking. A buddy of mine is the captain of the two seven. He saw the two of you at the ball last night and asked us to help. He said he thinks the two of you make a believable couple and might be able to help us nail this jerk."

Elliot laughed as he looked at Olivia. "So because we danced a couple of times we make a believable couple?"

"Elliot, he thought Liv was your wife. The two of you have great chemistry together. And you trust each other completely. That is a vital part of this investigation. It is worth a shot. We will know with in a few days if he takes the bait. And if he doesn't, I pull you and they try another approach. I am talking a week tops."

"Yeah, just a week to you. But my real wife is liable to divorce my ass if I run off to some luxury hotel with Liv for a week. I am already walking a thin line with her Cap."

"This is your job, Elliot. I could just send Liv. Pull some random stranger from the two seven to send in as her husband. But I don't like sending her in not knowing how trust worthy our hubby is. And she can relax with you. She is comfortable with you. I know she is safe with you. I don't know any of these other guys on this case. If you back out I might as well be sending her in alone."

"No pressure," Elliot said as he looked out the window of the office.

"I can talk with Kathy for you and explain this to her. I am sure she would rather you be undercover with Liv than with some strange woman she doesn't know."

"No. I'll take care of it. But she is going to be pissed. One week. Then we are both out," he said looking over at Olivia.

"You check in to the Ivy tomorrow."

That evening while driving her home Elliot parked the car in front of her apartment building to talk to her for a moment.

"No one even asked you how you felt about this," he said as she turned to look at him.

"It is our job, El. And frankly checking into a luxury hotel for a few days to set up a scum bag like DeLuca and bust him on rape is by far not the worst undercover operation either of us has had to do."

"You almost sound like you are all for it."

"Elliot…"

"No, it's just that after Sealview I figured you would want to lay low on undercover stuff for a while."

"Elliot, I am fine. Sealview was nearly a year ago. I'll be okay."

"You never did tell me what happened there."

"Nothing happened. Fin got there before anything….I guess I just hoped you would eventually stop asking."

"You mean stop caring."

She looked up at him.

"Never," he said. "If you say nothing happened, nothing happened. But Olivia, _nothing_ doesn't cause nightmares for months and put you in therapy."

"I can do this, Elliot. It isn't anything like Sealview. Besides, it sounds like you are the one with the problem with the assignment. I could ask Munch to do it."

Elliot laughed. "Right."

"What is so funny about that?"

"Nothing. Just this guy would have to be a real schmuck to believe that a woman like you would marry a guy like Munch."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, Olivia, that in any situation you are more than a little out of his league. It isn't believable."

"You heard Cragen. These are very rich men."

"So."

"So, money makes a lot of women attracted to men who wouldn't otherwise be in their league. And Munch doesn't have a jealous wife at home."

"She isn't jealous."

"Oh, no?"

"Okay, she's jealous. But I can handle her. Cragen is right. If you go in, I need to be there with you. Especially after Sealview."

"It is Munch, Elliot."

"Right and at Sealview Fin had your back. But it still got out of hand. And you still got hurt. I know that either of them would do anything to protect you. And I know that Fin will always kick himself for whatever it was that did or didn't happen to you at Sealview. I a just not willing to take that risk again. Not in a situation like this. If you're in, I'm in. We're a team, Liv."

She smiled a soft smile. "What is Kathy going to say about you being off pretending to be my husband for a week?"

"She's going to kick my ass. But she can only stay mad for so long. I think she understands it, she is just hurt because I have to leave her and the kids. Anyway, I will pick you up in the morning and head over to the two seven. They are supposed to have all of the goodies there for us to pick up while he fills us in on details. I hear your wedding ring is huge."

"Nice," Olivia smiled nervously.

"Good night, Liv."

"Night, El."

Elliot watched from his car until the lights came on in her apartment and he knew she was safe inside. He put the car into gear and headed for home.


	2. 2 Reporting For Duty

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Two: Reporting For Duty)_

Elliot opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. He shifted his attention to the alarm clock beside him on the night stand and reached to shut it off before it sounded. He took a deep breath and exhaled looking at the empty space in the bed beside him.

He had intended to talk to Kathy about this when he arrived home with flowers last night, but she wasn't here. Infact, she didn't come home. She was still at her mother's with the kids as a result of the last argument they had. She wasn't taking his calls either, leaving him no choice but to write her a letter explaining his absence for the next week and try to explain it in voice mail. She was going to be so pissed off.

Elliot walked to the kitchen of the empty house and started the coffee. He climbed into a hot shower and stood there for a while just feeling the angry sting of the water as it hit his skin. He hadn't slept much at all last night. His mind was crowded with thoughts of Olivia and whatever it was that haunted her about her experience at Sealview. And the lump in the pit of his stomach told him what an insensitive jerk he had been to drag it all back up to her last night.

He climbed from the shower and pulled on his usual suit and tie. He grabbed a cup of coffee and headed to her apartment. Olivia approached his car wearing a soft angora sweater and a pair of black slacks. Elliot had always loved that she made fashion look so simple. She climbed into the passengers seat as he handed her a cup of coffee.

"Made it myself. But it is still better than Munch's."

She smiled and he could tell she was getting nervous.

"Olivia, I want to apologize for the things I said yesterday. I was out of line."

She tipped her head to look at him with tired eyes. "You mean about Sealview? It doesn't bother me. It is a part of my past, Elliot. It will always be there somewhere. Just below the surface."

"I know. But it wasn't right of me to drag you through all of that again."

"I wasn't raped," she said as her eyes widened gazing into his.

"Liv, I wasn't going to ask."

"I know. But I needed to tell you. You needed to hear it. That is why you can't let it go. You feel guilty because you weren't there. But Elliot, you couldn't have been there. If you could have, you would have. I know that."

"And that bastard probably would have gotten shot right there."

"Elliot," she said slipping her hand into his. "He tried. In the basement." He could see the tears welling up in her eyes as she was about to confess to him everything that took place in that basement.

Just then Elliot's cell phone rang. He stared into Olivia's eyes for a moment then reached for his phone. She turned her attention out the window of the car and listened as he talked to Cragen.

Twenty minutes later they entered the twenty seventh precinct and spoke to the captain about the case. Then they were on their way. He walked them out to the parking lot taking the keys to the squad car and handing Elliot the keys to a brand new Mercedes.

"Sweet," Elliot said with a smile as he opened the door for his new bride.

"The car is equipped with a tracking device," the captain pointed out. "And there is a change of clothes for both of you in the trunk. Your wardrobe for the next week has already been sent over to the hotel and should be waiting in you room."

"We packed our things," Elliot said pointing to the trunk of the squad car.

"No offense, Detective Stabler. You are supposed to be a wealthy business man. If you show up in a new Mercedes wearing a two hundred dollar suit, this man is liable to see right through you."

"He's right, El."

"We'll change before we get there," Elliot replied.

"Cell phones are in the front seat. I have two guys inside working as hotel employees," he said handing Olivia a slip of paper with two names on it. "We have been after this guy for a while. But so far he has raped four women in the New York area and so far he has gotten away with it. He is getting cocky and he will slip up. When he does, we will be there to catch him. It has been two months since the last girl was attacked and we have backed off enough to let him start to feel comfortable again. I don't think we will have any trouble at all getting him to take the bait."

"Good. The sooner this is over, the better."

Elliot drove them to the hotel and got them checked in.

"Your luggage arrived this morning, Mr. & Mrs. Weston." The man handed Elliot the key to their room. "If you will follow me," he said leading them off the elevator and down the hall. "Number seven fifteen," He said as Elliot slipped the card key into the lock. He opened the door and they stepped inside, "welcome to the Ivy."

"Thank you," Elliot said tipping the man as Olivia explored her new surroundings.

"If you need anything just call down to the front desk, my name is Michael. Oh and congratulations on your wedding."

"Thank you Michael," Olivia said with a smile as Elliot slipped his arms around her.

"Enjoy your stay," he said as he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"Oh my God," Olivia said with a smile as she sat her purse on the table beside the door. "This place is gorgeous."

"Yeah. Hard to imagine, isn't it? One night in this room cost a weeks salary. They can't find it in our budget to order new bullet proof vests or keep new tires on the squad cars. But their department can support an undercover assignment for a week on a thousand dollar a night hotel room and ten thousand dollar suits."

"Just relax and enjoy it while you can, Elliot." Olivia walked across the room and popped the cork on the champagne bottle sending it flying across the room. She poured two glasses and handed him one. "To…our marriage," she said with a teasing smile. "Our partnership. And catching the bad guy," she clicked her glass against his and took a drink of the cold bubbly substance. "This is really good," she said inspecting the label on the bottle.

"I should call Kathy," Elliot said looking into her eyes as he handed her his glass. He pulled his personal cell phone from his jacket pocket and walked into the other room.

Olivia sipped the champagne from her glass as she watched him pace the floor and talk to voicemail once more. Elliot hung up the phone, turning it to vibrate and sliding it back into his pocket.

"Everything, okay?" She asked softly with a worried look as he approached her.

"Fine," he said picking up the glass and downing the champagne she had poured for him. "Dinner is in an hour. What do you say we head down a little early and check the place out."

"Sure," Olivia replied. "Just let me get unpacked."


	3. 3 Check & Mate

_**Illusive Perception**_

_**(Chapter Three: Check & Mate)**_

**Olivia awoke in the comfort of the hotel bed surrounded by half a dozen pillows. She stretched and rolled her eyes to look at the clock across the room. It was just after nine o'clock in the morning and she could not remember the last time she had slept that well. **

**She climbed from the bed in her boxer shorts and tee shirt and headed for the bathroom. She finished brushing her teeth and walked into the living room area of their suite to see Elliot spread out sleeping on the couch. Olivia smiled and looked at him for a moment.**

"**El," she said softly.**

"**Yeah?" He asked popping his head up quickly to look at her almost scaring her.**

"**I'm sorry. The light on your phone is flashing. You missed a call. And I was going to see if you wanted to get ready and go down for breakfast or just order room service?"**

"**Umm," he thought for a moment as he rubbed his hands over his face. "We should go own for breakfast. We need to spend as much time outside this room as we can to give this guy the chance to make his move. Let me grab a quick shower and call Kathy."**

"**Okay," she said with a smile and headed back to the bedroom to change.**

**Half an hour later they sat at a table in the main dining room. She ate grapefruit and nibbled at a croissant while Elliot enjoyed a plate of bacon and eggs. Fifteen minutes into breakfast a complimentary bottle of champagne arrived at their table. **

"**Who is it from?" Olivia asked the waiter as she shifted her eyes toward Elliot.**

"**I sent it over," a voice said from behind her. **

**Olivia shifted in her chair to look over her shoulder at a tall attractive man in a very expensive white suit. **

"**I'm sorry. Please allow me to introduce myself. Drake DeLuca," he said extending his hand first to Elliot and then Olivia, "I own the Ivy. I heard the two of you were here on your honeymoon and wanted to send this over as my personal gift. I trust the two of you are enjoying your stay?"**

"**Oh, everything is just wonderful," Olivia cooed with a smile as Elliot focused his attention on the New York Times and let her work her magic. "It would be a bit more enjoyable if Elliot, here weren't tied up with work and could pay a little more attention to me. But it is beautiful. We love it here."**

"**You know what? I have an idea. This is your honeymoon, right? It should be the most incredible week of your life and in the most incredible suite we offer here at the Ivy." He pulled a keycard out of his pocket and handed it to Olivia. "I would like to upgrade you guys to the penthouse. My treat. A beautiful room for a beautiful beginning."**

"**I don't know," Elliot said hesitantly.**

"**Oh, come on. Private rooftop access. An indoor pool and private gym. The room is usually reserved for our celebrity guests.**

**Consider it a wedding gift, Mr. Weston. For you and your new bride."**

"**Please baby," Olivia begged sweetly as she slipped her hand in his. **

"**What can I say?" Elliot asked looking up at DeLuca. "Whatever makes her happy. What she wants, she gets. Thank you."**

"**Thank you baby," Olivia squealed as she slid in beside him and playfully kissed the side of his face.**

"**I'll have someone bring your things up from the other room," DeLuca said as he walked away from their table and made a call over a hand held radio to the front desk.**

"**Your belongings should be waiting in the room for you when you finish your breakfast."**

"**Thank you again," Elliot said shaking the man's hand.**

**Olivia sat back in her chair and watched at DeLuca got onto the elevator. **

"**He fell right into our trap," she said with a smile. **

**Elliot wiped his mouth with a napkin. He pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a text back to the captain of the two seven letting him know the plan was right on schedule. **

**After breakfast they went up to their new room. It was even more incredible than the other one. **


	4. 4 Crossing The Line

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Four: Crossing The Line)_

Olivia unpacked her new expensive clothes from the Louis Vuitton luggage that had been provided for them for this charade.

"Not bad," she said aloud as she held up a burgundy colored satin night gown and inspected it. The gown was long with a slit up each side and black lace across the bodice. I also had a matching robe. "Why the hell not? It is after all, my honeymoon." She tossed the gown and robe onto the bed and hung the rest of her new clothes in the armoire across the room next to her husbands suits and five hundred dollar shoes.

She took a deep breath and stepped around the corner into the living room where Elliot sat watching television.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed. Do you need in the bathroom first?"

"No, go ahead. I grab a shower when you're finished."

"Okay."

She walked back into the bathroom and pulled her hair back in a clip. She took off her earrings and washed off her make up, then brushed her teeth before slipping into the gown and robe.

"Wow," she said checking herself out in the mirror before closing the robe and tying it shut. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror and headed toward the bedroom again.

She smiled as she reached the edge of the bed and the bed turned down and her paperback novel laying on the pillow. Elliot must have grabbed it when he got their things from the squad car. She climbed up on the end of the bed and began to crawl toward the book.

Just then she felt a push and she fell forward across the pillows. He flipped her over the look up at him and pressed his mouth to hers. A shocked and nearly mortified Olivia struggled with him and resisted for a moment before she just gave in and stared into his eyes.

Elliot laid her back on the bed and stared down at her under him.

"What the hell are you doing?" She mumbled softly as he lowered his mouth to hers once more, this time continuing the kisses around the side of her neck and to her ear.

"There's a camera over the bed," he whispered.

Olivia pushed him back and stared at him. Elliot nodded at her as he stared into her eyes. He lowered himself onto her in the bed and pulled the blankets up around them. He leaned down and kissed her with another soft closed mouth kiss.

Olivia moaned softly as she moved her hands to touch his face. "Do you think they have sound?" She whispered into his ear.

"I couldn't tell. We'll have to make it convincing," he whispered back to her before kissing her again.

Elliot pulled back from her in the bed and raised up over her. He pushed her knees apart as he stared into her eyes and slid her body down toward him placing one of her long sexy legs on each side of his body. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was nervous. And the way she trembled at his touch. They were never supposed to be like this. Never in this situation.

"Is everything okay?" She asked softly as she raised her body from the bed to kiss his lips. She smoothed her hand over his jaw and made it look really convincing. "El, baby," she cooed as she kissed on his neck. "I know you have been very busy with this deal at work lately. But I don't want you to think about work tonight. Just think about me. Focus on me," she said staring into his soul with her beautiful brown eyes. "Let me take care of you."

She smoothed her hand down his neck and undid the buttons on his silk shirt. Elliot untied the robe over her gown and watched as it fell around her in the bed. He was definitely going to Hell for the thoughts he was thinking right now. He moved his hand down her neck and across her shoulders kissing them as the thin straps of the gown slid down.

Olivia pushed his shirt off his shoulders and moved to unbuckle his belt. She tossed it into the floor and looked back up at him for a moment before unzipping his pants as well. Elliot tossed his pants aside and dropped her back onto the bed once more.

He lowered himself over her again raising her knees as she slid her hands down his back. Elliot kissed her tenderly as he pretended to move on top of her. Olivia closed her eyes and moaned with each gentle movement he made against her body. She stared up at him moaning and faking her way through a first orgasm.

Elliot looked into her eyes trying not to crack a smile. She was actually really good at this and very convincing. As her moans quieted he leaned in and kissed her again.

Olivia pushed him back and raised up rolling over onto him and holding him back against the bed. She lowered herself to him and kissed him gently as Elliot kissed the soft flesh under her chin.

She moved up just above his waist and straddled him in the bed. Elliot placed a hand on each of her thighs as she ground slowly against his body. She leaned forward over his chest and kissed him. Elliot moved his fingertips up and down her back as she moaned louder and moved faster.

She sat back up dragging her fingers over his chest, while he moaned playing along. Their passionate sighs and heavy gasps for air grew louder and closer together as he pulled her back to him.

He flipped them over again and laid on top of her in the bed. Olivia laughed as he fell onto her. Elliot shifted her knees again, this time placing blankets between his body and hers. He lowered himself and began to thrust forward.

She moaned loudly and clawed at his back, closing her eyes as the headboard of the bed began to tap against the wall. Olivia laughed and wrapped her arm around his neck placing little kisses against his collarbone. He pressed her body firmly against the mattress as he groaned and she moaned and they mocked a steamy finish.

Elliot held her for a moment before he rolled over into the bed beside her. He stared at her across the sheets. After a few minutes he reached to touch her hand. But she pulled it away.

"Liv?" he said softly.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," she whispered as she turned and climbed from the bed.

He watched as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He felt a knot in his throat. What had he done? He had pushed her into this and now she was trapped.

He laid in bed alone for the next half hour listening to the shower running in the next room as he tried to think of something to say to her to make this better. A few minutes later he heard the shower shut off and her hair dryer going.

Olivia opened the bathroom door and walked back into the bedroom as she smell of flowers from her shampoo filled the air. She looked down at him as she sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed lotion on her arms and shoulders.

Elliot pulled the blankets back and patted the bed beside him. Olivia shifted nervously then laid down in the bed next to her partner. She turned off the bedside lamp and waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark. When they had she could see he was watching her.

She rolled onto her stomach and fluffed her pillow as she settled into it for the night. She exhaled softly as her eyes met his. Elliot raised his hand to touch hers softly.

"You okay?" He whispered to her.

"I'm fine," she whispered back staring into his eyes.

"Olivia…"

"Just get some sleep, El. We both just need some sleep."

"Okay," he said softly. "Good night, Olivia."

"Good night, El."


	5. 5 Pillow Talk

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Five: Pillow Talk)_

Elliot was already gone from the bed when Olivia woke the next morning. She rolled over and dragged her hand over the empty place where he once laid. She took a deep breath and sat up picking her robe up from the floor. She walked through the suite searching for any sign of him, but he was gone.

As she walked to the window to look outside she heard the door open behind her and Elliot walked in holding a newspaper.

"Morning," he said with a smile.

"Morning," she said nervously.

"How did you sleep?"

"Really good."

"Good."

"You ready to go downstairs for breakfast?"

"Umm, sure. Just let me go change."

Olivia dressed quickly and he escorted her to the dining room for breakfast. He walked in with her displayed proudly on his arm and pulled out her chair for her at the table. They placed their order and Olivia sipped her coffee as she waited for her food to arrive.

"So," she said trying to make some sort of conversation.

"So, I called and checked in this morning," he said softly. "That is why I left to go get the paper. I told them about the camera."

"What did he say?"

"He is going to contact his men working for the hotel. And at eleven thirty we are to pick up the phone and pretend to order room service. At twelve o'clock the cart will arrive and at five minutes after twelve we will lose power to the top three floors of the hotel for exactly five minutes. They are going to over ride the system so that the generators don't kick on. This will give me five minutes to sweep the room for bugs and search for more camera's without being seen. The equipment I need will be on the room service cart."

"This sounds so James Bond. If five minutes long enough? Do you need help?"

"Actually, I do need your help. I know the second that power goes out they will be calling DeLuca to notify him. I need you could keep him busy. Distract him and keep him from answering his phone."

"And what if I can't distract him?"

"I am talking five minutes, Olivia. Use your damsel in distress routine. I don't know. I am sure you will think of something."

"Okay."

"Liv, this is important."

"Okay."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

Elliot reached across the table and touched her hand.

"This will all be over soon. And we can go back home. You can have your life back."

"Yeah, just a few more days." She smiled at Elliot.

At eleven o'clock as Elliot ordered room service Olivia left their penthouse room in search of DeLuca. Thirty minutes later she found him exiting the lounge on the second floor.

Olivia looked around the room in search of witnesses. Perfect, there was no one in the hall but the two of them. She stood beside the elevator and waited for him to take notice. She leaned back against the wall and raised her skirt just a bit to shoe a little leg as she pretended to adjust the strap of her heel.

"Mrs. Weston?" DeLuca said from beside her.

"Jack pot," Olivia mumbled under her breath. "Mr. DeLuca," she called out with her most adoring smile as she took his arm. "It is so nice to see you, again."

"How has your stay been?"

"Wonderful. Very romantic. El and I have been greatly influenced by the romantic atmosphere here at the Ivy. If you know what I mean?"

"Oh. Why yes, I think I do know what you mean."

"I'm sure you don't want to hear about anything like that," she said with a smile as she turned to push the elevator button to return to her floor.

"Mrs. Weston, I love hearing stories of happy couples whose love was inspired by my hotel."

Olivia laughed sweetly. _What a schmuck_, she thought to herself.

"Would you mind escorting me back to my room?" She asked batting her eyelashes.

"I would be honored, ma'am."

They stepped into the elevator as DeLuca made small talk trying to impress her. He had to have seen their little performance last night, she thought as he kept leaning toward her trying to steal a peek down the front of her dress.

But Olivia just smiled and acted as if she were fascinated by every word he said. She was doing a lot more acting this time undercover than she thought she would have to do. She dropped her room key in the floor and as DeLuca reached to pick it up for her she glanced at her watch.

_Three, two, one, _she counted in her head as the elevator jolted trapping them half way between her floor and the and below hers. Her plan worked perfectly.

"Oh my," she said looking around her in the dark confined space with no power. "I certainly hope the elevator doesn't fall."

"No, ma'am. The cables are reinforced. The elevator won't fall. The generator should kick in soon and we will be on our way."

"I wonder what could have happened?"

"They have had a few problems with squirrels getting into the transformers outside."

"Those poor little things."

"Well, it causes a power surge and sometimes a short outage. It should be back up momentarily."

Olivia waited and listened as DeLuca's pager sounded. He felt his pocket for his phone but it wasn't there. "Damn it!"

"What is the problem?"

"I must have left my phone in the lounge. You don't happen to have one on you do you?"

"I am sorry, no. What about the emergency phone in the elevator?"

"It runs off the power. Great," he scoffed as his pager went off again.

"They must be really worried. Maybe it wasn't just a squirrel."

Obviously DeLuca was beginning to get annoyed at her constant talking because he shot her a glare across the elevator.

"I'm sorry. I ramble when I am nervous," she confessed.

"There is nothing to be nervous about Mrs. Weston. I am sure everything will be back to normal in a matter of moments."

Just then another jolt and the power was back on as the elevator continued it's climb to her floor.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was really starting to get worried. Thank you so much for keeping me safe."

"No, problem ma'am. Why don't I walk you to your room?"

"That would be great, thanks." As he escorted her off the elevator Olivia's eyes fell on something in the floor. "Oh, is that your phone?" She asked pointing.

"Yes, it is. I must have dropped it when the power went out."

"Oh," she said in surprise.

"Would you look at that? The battery must have popped out when it hit the floor."

"I am so glad you found it," she said as she placed her key card into the lock for her room. But as she did Elliot opened the door.

"Liv?"

"Oh, Elliot. We were in the elevator and the power went out and we were trapped and we couldn't call for help and I was so scared."

Elliot wrapped his arms tight around her as she fell into his chest and burst into tears.

"Oh baby, I was so worried," Elliot said shifting his eyes up to DeLuca. "Thank you so much for bringing her back to me."

"No problem," DeLuca said. "You let me know if there is anything else I can do for you."

"Do you know what caused the power outage?" Elliot asked.

"Squirrels," Olivia sobbed.

"I am very sorry for the inconvenience," DeLuca said as he turned to head down the hall.

Elliot pulled her inside and closed the door.

"Liv," he said trying to get her attention and impressed that she could make herself cry on cue. "Liv, its okay. He doesn't have sound. "

She raised her head and much to his surprise she was laughing hysterically.

"You are insane, you know that?"

Olivia smiled taking it as a complement.

"How did it go?" He asked her.

"Perfectly."

"He suspect anything?"

"Nope. How did it go here?"

"Good. I checked everywhere. The bed is our red zone."

"Of course he has a camera on the bed. He rapes them on the bed. This way he can watch it again later. Like his own little sleazy sex tapes. What a freak!"

"Liv, we work sex crimes. They are all freaks! So how did you do it?"

"I waited for him to come out of the lounge and asked him to escort me up here. I wasted time in front of the elevator so that we would be inside and right between floors during the power outage. When the lights went out I jacked his phone from his pocket and pulled the battery off the back. Just before they came back up I dropped it into the floor. Moron didn't even know what hit him."

"Wouldn't be the first time a man was distracted by a pretty girl."

"Well, distracted by my boobs and legs."

"Liv, all straight men are distracted by boobs and legs."

She smiled a sarcastic smile.

"Do you think he saw the tape?" Elliot asked.

"He saw it," she said sitting down to take off her heels.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because the entire time I was talking to him he was trying to look down my dress and get a peek at what he didn't see on the video. I could tell by the way he looked at me, trust me. He saw it."

"We are going to have to make it very realistic or he is going to see through us."

"I am not taking my gown off! You want to play make believe for freak boy and make it real? Then you prance around naked in front of his camera! Absolutely NOT!"

"Olivia, relax. I would never ask you to."

She turned and looked at him.

"I'm sorry. I over reacted. I just… this is starting to get to me."

"A few more days. And if we can get enough for a warrant, I guarantee he has those rapes on tape somewhere. Hang in there, okay?"

She looked up at him and nodded.

"I have an idea. Why don't we get out of the hotel for a few hours? Kind of unload some of this stress. We can catch a movie or something."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Elliot said with a smile. "I have a brand new Mercedes parked downstairs. I will take you anywhere you want to go."

Olivia laughed. "Okay."

Elliot ended up taking her for a little retail therapy and a movie before returning to the hotel for dinner. After dinner they returned to their room. It was just after nine o'clock but she was tired already.

"I think I am going to get ready for bed," Olivia said with a yawn.

Elliot looked at her from across the bedroom as she sorted through her night gowns.

"Do you wanna…" he said nodding toward the bed.

"If you want to…."

"Well, it is our honeymoon."

"Yeah. Give me a few minutes," she said holding up a gown in her hands.

"Sure."

Olivia headed for the bathroom to change and prepare for her next performance. Elliot stripped down to his boxer shorts and poured them each a glass of champagne. A few minutes later she returned to the bedroom. When Elliot returned she was standing at the foot of the bed.

"Don't move," he said softly as he walked past her to sit down the glasses. "I have an idea that I think will get us through this little charade quickly tonight."

Olivia laughed seductively. "Just tell me how you want me baby," she said crawling across the bed.

"Stop, right there," Elliot said as he moved in behind her. He snaked his arms around her waist and bit playfully at the back of her neck. "Right here is where I want you."

Olivia smiled and tipped her head to the side to kiss him. He smoothed his hands slowly over her body above the gown. Olivia moaned softly and laughed. Elliot moved his hand slowly up her thigh under the gown making it appear he was touching her. Olivia played along. She closed her eyes and leaned her head into him moaning as he moved his hand.

After a few minutes she pushed his hand from under the gown and stared into his eyes. Elliot traced his fingertips across her neck and under her chin raising her chin until their lips met.

He pushed her body forward slowly and raised the back of the gown just enough to make it believable. Then he pulled her back against him as he began to move slowly against her.

Olivia caught on quickly and followed his lead. In moments she was moaning and gasping for breath and begging him not to stop. Elliot locked his fingers in hers and lead them over her body, her hand under his as they slowly traced each perfect breast.

She moaned softly closing her eyes. She could feel his kisses on her neck and his warm breath against her ear. The truth of the matter was this pretend sex with Elliot was the closest thing she had to actual sex in a long time. And sadly the imitation sex with him was better than some of the real sex she had encountered with men in the past.

She arched her back against him and felt his hands over her body. She wished so badly they were the hands of a man who really loved her. Not the way Elliot loved her, but the hands of a lover.

Smooth and strong moving up her body as he moved inside her. Making her moan for him. Kissing passionately. Leaving a fire ever place he toughed her. She wanted to be loved like that. Somehow, she needed to.

Elliot moved his hand to her jawbone pulling her face sideways and kissing her again. That was when she felt it. Or realized she had been feeling it for a while now.

Elliot's kisses were so passionate and strong now. And with each one she felt his tongue in her mouth. She wasn't sure how it had happened, who had started it or even if he realized it. But it was amazing.

Olivia closed her eyes and brushed the bridge of her nose against his. She felt his hand on her cheek as their lips met once more in a passionate opened mouth kiss. Somewhere during this little game of theirs the rules had changed. And it seemed they were both enjoying taking advantage of this new freedom.

She closed her eyes and moved with him as they both moaned through an incredible finish. After Elliot kissed the back of her shoulder softly. Olivia looked over her shoulder and into his eyes as he kissed her once more. She could tell by the look in his eyes he wasn't aware of what had just happened.

Elliot moved from the bed and into the bathroom as she laid down and tried to clear her head. She heard the shower start and she closed her eyes.

Elliot now stood naked under a hot shower just a little bit pissed off. This was their second pretend sexual encounter and he was getting tired of having blue balls from dry humping his partner.

_Not tonight_, he thought as he stood under the running water with his eye closed trying to think of something to relieve himself. But nothing seemed to work. He thought about his wife and how if she were here with him and he was the way he was right now all hot and ready to go , two or three good thrusts were all he would probably need to finish.

But she wasn't here. He was alone. In the shower. The water now running cold over him. And his dick in his hand feeling like it would fall off at any moment if he didn't…. Then just like that, there it was. Relief.

Elliot took a deep breath and leaned his forehead against the shower wall for a moment to try to regain his focus on the world around him. He grabbed a wash cloth from the counter top and soaped up his body for a moment while he tried not to think about it any more than he had to.

He actually felt a little guilty. Almost as if her were cheating on Kathy. But he wasn't. Because this wasn't real. None if this was real. That was what he tried to remind himself as he wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at his reflection as he brushed his teeth. And tried to for get the image that had popped into his mind at the last minute and provided him release. Her pretty brown eyes.

Several minutes later he shut off the bathroom light and opened the door into the bedroom. She was laying in bed sleeping like an angel. And for the first time the fear that this thing would ruin them scared him. Because for the first time, he felt it, too.

Elliot walked round to his side of the bed careful not to wake her and climbed in beside her. She laid like she always did, on her stomach facing him. He watched her for a moment as she slept.

"Good night Olivia," he whispered softly.

She opened her eyes to looked into his.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"I wasn't asleep," she said with a smile. "I can't sleep."

Elliot raised his hand and placed it on hers as he stared into her eyes.

"We're gonna be okay," he said confidently.

"I know," she whispered.

But he was really trying to convince himself.

Elliot took a deep breath and smiled at her.

He opened his palm and she slipped her fingers between his.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, fighting back a knot in his throat.

He watched as a single tear rolled from her cheek onto her pillow and disappeared.

"Olivia," he whispered. "I am here. Talk to me."

"El," she whispered, her eyes pleading with his as they filled with tears.

"Liv baby, tell me what he did to you."

Then it was like a dam broke. Or the flood gates had opened and all of her pent up emotion from that day so long ago poured out. Elliot reached his hand to the side of her cheek to wipe them away as they fell. For a few moments she couldn't even speak. Then she began her story in a fragile whisper.

"He took me to the basement to rape me. We got down there and he locked the door. I screamed but no one could hear. The prison was on lock down and Fin was stuck somewhere else. He threw me onto the bed."

Elliot watched her as she curled into a fetal position on the mattress beside him and continued to cry. His heart was breaking.

"He pinned me down, but I fought him. I got away for a moment and I ran. I couldn't get out. I was trapped down there. So, I hid. That pissed him off. When he found me he slapped me around and hit me with his knight stick. He cuffed me to the door."

She took a staggered breath and gasped for air. Elliot held tight to her hand and gazed into her eyes.

"He stood up over me and unzipped his pants, exposing himself to me. I screamed. Elliot….I…"

She broke down again.

"It's okay, Olivia. Get it all out. You will feel better."

"I really thought he was going to do it. He was going to force me to…" she trembled and pressed her lips together. "He was going to force me to give him oral sex. And then he would have raped me. He would have. If Fin hadn't come in right then."

By now Elliot was fighting off tears as well. He hated to see her cry. It broke his heart. He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear and wipe the tears from her cheek.

"Come here," he said softly raising the blanket for her to slide in against him.

She was still crying a little, but not nearly as much as before. She had so much pain and fear built up over it for so long it would take her a while to get it all out. She tucked her head in against his chest and closed her eyes. He could tell that she was completely wore out and she just needed to be held.

But for now she was here, with him. And she was warm and she was safe and protected. And as long as he lived he knew he would do whatever it took to keep her from being hurt again. He just held her in his arms while she cried herself to sleep in his arms.

Elliot pulled the blankets up around her and closed his arms tight. He kissed her forehead and whispered softly, "good night, Olivia."


	6. 6 Love Game

_**Big thanks to MaraposaAngel18 for all of the help with this chapter! I really appreciate it, Sam! ;)**_

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Six: Love Game)_

Olivia opened her eyes as she nestled her face against the warmth of his skin underneath her. She laid there for a moment thinking how good it felt to be wrapped inside someone's arms. But this someone was Elliot. Her partner. Her best friend. And Elliot, was a married man.

She groaned a little as she raised up in the bed. It was early and the sun was barely peeking through the window across the room. Olivia pulled her knees to her chest and watched the view over the balcony as the sun rose fully spilling it's golden rays onto the city below.

"You okay?" She heard Elliot say from behind her as he reached up to rub her shoulder.

Olivia rolled her head to the side to look at him still half asleep laying in the bed.

"I'm good," she smiled.

"It is so early. You should lay back down and get some more rest. Sleep in. We never get to sleep in," he said with a yawn.

Olivia yawned in response, then smiled again at the fact that he had somehow made her do it. She scooted back to her side of the bed and shifted her weight then laid back down to stare at him across the bed.

"Do you have any idea how long it has been since I have seen a sunrise? I mean while I wasn't rushing around late for work or stuck in traffic and pissed off. Really been able to sit and enjoy a sunrise?"

"How was it?" He asked loving the look of excitement she got in her eye when she spoke of it.

In many ways her innocence about certain things was almost childlike. This was one of those things. And the fact that she seemed to find magic in something as simple as a sunrise made him want her even more.

"Amazing," she said with a smile. "Of course it would have been better if the person I was sharing it with wasn't snoring."

"I'll tell you what. At some point before we go home I will watch a sunrise with you."

Olivia smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah. With my eyes open this time."

Olivia chuckled a little.

"Get some sleep," Elliot said smiling back at her as he pulled the blankets up around her once more.

Olivia closed her eyes and though she didn't think she was tired, moments later was sound asleep.

When she woke for the second time that morning she was alone in the room. She stirred a little and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. She sat up slipping her feet into her new hotel issue overstuffed slippers. She listened for a moment and wrinkled her brow as she heard an unfamiliar sound coming from the next room.

She walked toward the bathroom where Elliot stood with the door only half open. He wore only his boxer shorts and his face was covered in shaving cream. Olivia smiled as he swished his razor in the hot water he had run in the sink and she realized this was the noise that she had heard. She stood quietly for a moment and just watched him as he dragged the razor another streak across his face clearing a path through the white foam.

"Liv, do you need in here?" He asked turning to face her.

"Oh, no. I was just… I heard the noise," she said pointing to the water in the sink.

"Ahh," Elliot replied returning his attention to the unshaven face in the mirror and putting the razor to his face again. "You get a better shave with a straight razor, but I forgot to pack mine."

"Hmm," she noted cocking her head to one side finding herself mesmerized by this ritual for some reason.

"Shit!" He snapped dropping the razor onto the counter after it snagged his skin.

She instantly noticed the bright red beads of blood as they surfaced.

"Let me see," she said letting her cop instincts take over as she entered the bathroom to assess the damage. She grabbed some tissue from the box on the counter and applied a little pressure. "It's not as bad as it looks," she said realizing that it had already almost completely stopped bleeding.

"I'm sure it's fine," he said trying not to be embarrassed as he stared into her eyes.

"You want some help?" She asked picking up his razor from the countertop and pointing to the gash he had just put on his face.

Elliot smiled, but said nothing.

"For starters, El, this razor is dull. Let me see if I have one in my bag." She tossed his disposable into the trash and riffled through her toiletries bag pulling out a pink Lady Bic shaver.

"You're gonna use that?"

"What's wrong with it? It's brand new."

"It's pink."

"It is. It also has this little strip for sensitive skin. And promises a silky smooth shave in an instant," she mocked. "Come on Stabler! Don't tell me you're afraid of a little pink razor?"

"No. Not at all. By all means. Be my guest."

She popped the cap off and tossed it onto the counter then waved the razor around in the hot water. Olivia winced as she began to drag the blade against the grain of the hair on his face.

"Here," Elliot said raising her to sit on the bathroom counter beside the sink. Her being a good few inches shorter than him was putting them both into a tough spot. "Better?" he asked leaning in to her so she could reach him better.

"Better," she said with a soft smile.

Elliot focused on her gorgeous brown eyes as she focused her attention on the stroke of the razor in her hand. You would have thought she were an artist painting on canvas the way her eyes widened as she carefully rounded the curve of his face.

She turned to rinse the razor in the sink then returned her attention to him. But when she turned back around she realized he had been staring straight into her eyes. Olivia smiled nervously as she looked at him then raised the razor to his face once more, but it didn't stay there long. Half way through another stroke the little pink razor and a blob of shaving cream hit the counter beside her as she felt Elliot's tongue in her mouth once more.

His hands were on her. Everywhere on her and her found a place on each side of his chin as her mouth responded to his. The kissing was wild and passionate and the petting was heavy as they began to heat up the confined space together.

Olivia laughed for a moment at the feel of shaving cream against her cheek as Elliot's mouth wondered across her cheek and onto her neck. He slipped his hands under her ass and pulled her body to his.

Olivia moved her fingers over each muscle in his strong chest and moaned softly as his kneaded her perfect behind. She sat now with on knee at each side of his waist wearing only a satin night down and black lace panties. He dressed only in boxer shorts. As they kissed passionately and made out on the bathroom counter for ten minutes solid.

His kisses were strong and heated and he nipped and bit gently at the underside of her neck. And moved her fingers over his strong shoulders and ached to feel his hands on her. Olivia grasped at him and held tight to his body as he slipped his hands under the slit in her gown and placed his hands against her skin lifting her for a moment from the counter as he pulled her waist closer to his own.

Olivia stared into his eyes and leaned in to kiss him once more. She smoothed her hands over his chest and moved them down it until her fingertips danced around the waist band of his boxer shorts. She reached for it, but as she did he grabbed her wrist and dropped her back onto the counter.

She stared into his waiting for an explanation.

"El?" She said softly, reaching to touch his chest.

He pushed her hand down and stared at her.

"There are no cameras in the bathroom," he said shaking his head. The he grabbed the hand towel from the rack on the wall wiped the shaving cream from the unfinished half of his face and walked out of the room slamming the door behind him.

Olivia sat there for a moment trying to swallow her pride. Instead she broke down and cried.

Nearly an hour later Olivia exited the bathroom wearing a towel and had one piled atop her head as well. She walked to the armoire that held her clothes, grabbed a few things and headed back to the bathroom to get dressed. When she finally came out to start her day, Elliot was sitting on the sofa staring blankly ahead at the television. She walked past him to pick up her book from the armchair where she had left it the day before. Despite her desperate attempts to hid it he could tell she had been crying for a while.

"You ready to go down to bre…" he looked at his watch, "brunch?"

She tossed the book into the chair and walked toward the door. Elliot stood and followed her. She didn't act angry or upset. But Elliot knew she was hurt. And he hated that he made her feel this way.

She was quiet most of the day. Shutting herself off from him and spending most of the afternoon laying across the bed reading, not even acknowledging he was in the same room.

He raised his head to watch her for a moment, a couple of times. Once or twice she was trying to hid the fact that she was crying again. He had really done it this time.

After a few hours she got up and closed the bedroom door to take a nap. A little while later he decided he had enough and it was time to talk to her. Elliot pulled a single white rose from the fresh cut centerpiece on the coffee table and walked to the bedroom door. He tapped lightly on it, but she didn't answer.

"Liv, can I come in?" He asked but still heard nothing. She must be asleep, he thought as he slowly opened the door to go in and wake her to apologize.

But what he say when he walked inside the room surprised them both. Olivia sat in a bubble bath reading and had the bathroom door to the bedroom standing open.

"Olivia," Elliot said turning quickly around.

Olivia dropped her book into the soapy water and pulled the towel from the rack in as well to cover her body.

"What are you doing?" She yelled out as she climbed from the tub wrapped in her soaking wet towel and pushed the door shut. She walked back to the edge of the tub to see her paperback novel floating in the water. She exhaled as she reached down picking it up and pulled the plug to drain the bathtub. She tossed the book into the trash can and tried not to cry.

By dinner she had tried to put it behind her. Neither of them had brought it up. Her afraid she would kill him and him so humiliated he wasn't even sure how to begin to make it up to her. Instead they made small talk. About work, about the case about anything but the events that had taken place earlier that day.

"I think maybe he has given up, El. Usually he has made a move by now."

"He didn't give up. He is just waiting for the right time to make his move."

"Or maybe he doesn't buy it," she said as she dropped her fork on her dinner plate and picked up her glass. "Maybe…he can tell it isn't real."

Elliot looked up at her, then looked across the room at DeLuca staring at her. "He wants real, then we will have to give him real. Make it more real. We can do that, Liv."

She stared at him as she took another drink from her glass of champagne. "I don't care what we do anymore," she said as she sat the glass down on the table. "I am so ready to go home."

"It's been a rough week. But we are almost through it. I think we can handle a few more days."

She wasn't really even angry anymore, just tired. So tired of all of the lies and pretending. She just wanted her own life back again. She propped her hand against her cheek and stared blankly ahead. Moments later Elliot's face appeared in her line of vision.

"You ready to go back up?"

"I'm ready to go back home."

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin this for you."

"You didn't ruin anything, Elliot." She stood up from the table as Elliot tossed a tip down and escorted her back up to their room.

"This room is starting to feel more like a cage," she said tossing her designer handbag onto the sofa in the living room and making a beeline for the bedroom. She kicked off her heels and unzipped the back of her dress as she flipped through the armoire for yet another gown. This one very similar to the one she wore the first night, but it was cobalt blue in color trimmed in black lace. She walked into the bathroom and closed the door to change. A few minutes later she returned to the bedroom and hung her dress back up with the others. "Let's get this over with," she mumbled as she climbed into the bed beside Elliot and smiled at him. She had been married less than a week and already the sex had lost it's appeal.

Olivia closed her eyes and exhaled trying to rid herself of bad energy and prepare for her little acting session with Elliot. By now DeLuca was probably inviting friends over every night to watch them perform and eat popcorn.

Elliot looked over at her as he laid his folded newspaper down on the table beside the bed. "Are you sure you want to? We don't have to do this every night if you don't want to."

"Baby, it's our honeymoon. All couples have sex every night of their honeymoon."

"Good point," he said with a smile.

She laid back in the bed and Elliot laid down over her pretending to kiss her. Within moments, everything that had happened that day was gone from her mind and the only thing she could think about was the taste of his kiss.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to play along. After about five minutes he was really kissing her and their moans and movements seemed so real. Olivia touched his face as they kissed and moaned together and Elliot stared into her eyes.

Suddenly Olivia felt a rush of adrenaline and began to get a bit carried away as she rolled over on top of Elliot in the bed. She sat up to straddle his waist grinding slowly against him. Elliot placed his hands against her hips to guide her as Olivia stared seductively into his eyes, but she pushed them back down.

She leaned forward to taste his tongue with hers, still grinding on him. "My way," she said softly refusing to kiss him as she worked her way back up and began to moan.

Elliot watched her as she teased him. She knew exactly what she was doing and she was enjoying every single second of it. Actually, he was enjoying it, too. Possibly a little more than he should have been. Ms. Benson, was a bad girl. And he had to make her pay.

She pushed her hands forward on his chest then clawed them back toward her body. Elliot moved one hand up her thigh and under the gown, but she stopped it. Olivia rolled her body against his as she leaned backward allowing the satin gown to reveal her full form of her body including her very obviously hardened nipples.

Elliot placed one hand at her cheek and dragged his fingertip down her neck and across the gown between her plump breasts all the way down past her navel until it fell to the side and his fingers laced in hers.

Olivia leaned forward kissing him once more, then kissed her way down his body and disappeared under the blanket for a few moments. Part of him really wished she was doing what she was pretending to do. God knows he wanted her to.

As she reappeared with a large grin on her face, she smoothed her fingertip over her lips and pressed them together before moving in for another kiss. As their lips locked and he felt her tongue on his Elliot decided to use this moment to his advantage. He wrapped on arm around her body and flipped them, pinning her to the bed. There was no way she was going to have all of the fun.

He kissed her slowly and passionately on the mouth then made his way across her collarbone and down. Olivia sighed half in anticipation and a little uncomfortably as Elliot kissed his way across every inch of her body above the gown.

He bent her knees pushing them up with her feet resting against the bed. He was definitely up to something Olivia thought, as she bit her lip nervously watching him. Elliot gazed into her eyes watching her reaction in their little game of truth or dare as he slid his hand under the gown and let his fingertips trace the pattern of the lace panties she was wearing.

Olivia's breath rapidly increased as she stared at him with a hunger in her eyes and began to pant. Elliot laid down on his stomach, his face falling dangerously close to the part of her knees.

Olivia could feel his warm breath on her skin and her body secretly ached for him. He moved his fingertip up and down the inside of her thigh teasing her as she trembled and tried not to raise off the bed in reaction to his touch.

She stretched her hands out and grasped the white bed sheet tight in each fist as he began to trail small kisses along the inside of her thighs. She panted and gasped harder as she pulled at the sheet, knowing that to the moron watching the camera it appeared as if Elliot were actually going down on her.

Olivia moaned and whimpered uncomfortably. He was killing her. It had been so long since she had actually had sex and now she had to put up with this? From Elliot?

She panted and tried not to lose control as Elliot's devilish grin surfaced from under her gown. Olivia was about to lose it. And he still thought she was playing.

Elliot raised up for a moment and flipped the blankets up around them. He lowered his body once more as her knees straddled him. Olivia stared at him wondering what he would do next. His next move more than shocked her, it sent chills through her body as he, in one swift move slipped his hands under the gown and tugged at her panties ripping them from her body.

A look of shock fell across Olivia's face as he pulled them from under the blanket and laid them on the mattress beside her, level with her head.

"What the hell are you doing Stabler?" She whispered glaring at him.

"You wanted it to be real. Now it's real." And with that he dropped his boxer shorts beside the crumpled piece of lace on the bed.

Elliot raised up and adjusted them so that there was a blanket between them that could be felt but not seen. The he lowered his body to hers and began to kiss her again. He moved his hands up and down her thighs on each side of him as he thrust forward and pretended to fuck her brains out.

Olivia closed her eyes. His touch and his kisses and warm breath on her body felt so amazing. Before long she was trembling uncontrollably as they gasped and moaned together.

Elliot grasped at her breasts and ass through the gown as he got carried away. But she was so wound up in it she didn't really let it bother her. His touch did incredible things for her body. And his kisses just heightened the entire experience. They, were the one part of the entire performance that was real, even if they weren't supposed to be.

She closed her eyes and thought back to their little make out session in the bathroom earlier that morning and him all covered in shaving cream. And the fact that she probably would have licked it off if she thought he would have allowed it. It was so sexy.

She squeezed her eyes shut feeling the rocking of his thrusts against her as she listened to the sounds they both made. And she wondered about them and sex. If this were real, how incredible it would be.

Olivia listened to Elliot's very convincing groans and growls as he fast approached his fake finish and she prepared for hers as well. She had become quite the actress over the last week.

Elliot sped up his movements and they both breathed harder and faster until they almost screamed an explosive finish. As they did Elliot fell across her body and they both panted heavily for a few moments as they stared into each other's eyes.

Olivia clung to him for a few moments, then he fell quietly into the bed beside her. She held tight to the blanket, staring up at the ceiling wondering what the in the hell had just taken place as her body trembled trying to recover from the very big, very real orgasm she just had.


	7. 7 Three Little Words

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Seven: Three Little Words)_

Olivia was taking a little longer than she had planned to get ready for dinner. Elliot, afraid that the restaurant downstairs wouldn't hold their reservation went on down a head of her. He sat at the bar drinking scotch watching the door for her to arrive.

After several minutes as he sat chomping on a piece of ice from his glass, he saw her. There, fifty feet away, looking around the room as if she had lost someone, stood Olivia. And she was breathtaking.

Her long dark hair was swept up as a few strands fell around her face and eyes. Her lips painted dark and her makeup fixed perfectly. And she was wearing the dress. The dress that had inspired this entire charade, nearly a week ago at the black and white ball. He had never seen a piece of fabric look so amazing on anyone.

Elliot sat his drink down on the bar and made his way through the crowd to her side.

"You look almost angelic in that dress. Did I tell you that?" He said as she turned to look at him from over her shoulder.

"What, this old thing?" She said with a smile. "I know they bought half a dozen dresses for this," she said smoothing her hands down the bodice of her white gown, "but I love this dress."

"You look incredible," he said raising her hand as she did a little twirl under it. "I love this dress, too."

"You really like it?"

"Yeah. It looks like it was made just for you."

"Aww. Thanks, El."

"You are very welcome."

"Shall we?" She asked holding her arm out for him to take.

"Actually, our table isn't ready just yet. But, we could dance."

"I don't have to make you dance with me?"

"Maybe I decided the first experience wasn't quite as painful as I thought it would be. Or maybe I just want to be that guy," he said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and they began to slow dance to the music of the grand piano across the room.

"What guy?" She asked with a smile.

"The one guy in the room that is the envy of every other guy. Because he is on the arm of the most beautiful woman," he said gazing into her eyes. "And in this case," he raised her hand to stare at the large diamond ring, "I am married to her."

Olivia had never felt more beautiful in her life than she did in that moment. She smiled a shy smile and laid her head against his shoulder. She closed her eyes and listened to the romantic piano music being played behind them.

She knew it was wrong to want him so bad. To allow herself to fall deeper into love every day with a man who belonged to someone else. But as her head pleaded with her heart she realized, her heart just didn't care.

She pressed her forehead against the inside curve of his neck taking in the smell of his cologne. She had been in love with him for so long now, that she didn't remember a time when she wasn't. And as much as she ached for him, she knew that this was as far as it could ever go. And this, was too far.

Olivia drew a soft staggered breath and prayed that Elliot couldn't tell she was crying. How could she explain this to him? Besides, the one time she actually made an advance he practically yelled at her and stormed out of the room. Maybe he didn't feel the same way. All of his incredible kisses had been pretend. Just more lies and more acting.

She took a deep breath and sighed, then pulled away from him and cut across the dance floor. Olivia pushed her way through the crowd as she carried the train of the dress and exited a side door onto a balcony. She leaned over the edge for a moment gasping and sucking the cold air into her lungs. But it still felt like she couldn't breathe.

She had waited her entire life to fall in love like this. And when she finally realized she had, it was with a man she could never have. She stood on that balcony alone in the moonlight breathing in the cold night air until she felt the sting in her lungs like thousands of tiny needles from the late October air. And her stomach felt almost sickened.

She gasped and cried until her tears seemed to just run out and she had calmed again. Then calmly, she placed her hands on the rail and stared up at the full moon.

Several long minutes later she felt his palm in the center of her back.

"Liv, are you alright? The way you ran out, I thought…"

"I needed some air," she said softly without turning around.

Elliot looked at her in the moonlight, he didn't think it was possible for any woman to look more beautiful than she did at this moment. He caught himself staring at the shimmer of the silver straps of the dress as they formed an X shape across her bare back. This was possibly his favorite part of this dress. The way it showed off her incredibly sexy back.

"You have been awful quiet today," he said softly as his hands came to rest beside hers on the railing.

Olivia stared at them, but didn't speak.

"Are you upset with me?"

She raised her eyes to meet his, but couldn't for words as her bottom lip quivered uncontrollably.

"Look, I am sorry about walking in on you in the bath. I had no idea you were in there and I didn't see anything, I swear."

She smiled shyly. "I know you didn't mean it."

"Then what?"

"Are you mad about last night? Because I ripped your underwear?"

"What?" She looked confused.

"You looked really pissed off."

"Well, they were good underwear."

"Olivia, I will pay you for the underwear."

She exhaled and wiped her hands over her face.

"That is not what this is about, Elliot." She could feel herself getting frustrated at his ignorance to the situation staring him right in the face.

"Then what is it about? Tell me. I can't fix it if I don't know."

"Maybe I don't want you to fix it. Maybe it should just be left alone." She turned to walk away from him, but he caught her wrist and held it. He didn't pull or tug or try to restrain her from leaving. He just stood there and held it for a moment.

"Don't run. Not from me. Liv, please. Talk to me. Help me fix this. Just tell me what I did."

Elliot gazed into her eyes and she was frozen in her place. She couldn't move.

"You didn't do anything, El. I did," she said as a tear rolled from her cheek and fell to the ground.

Elliot raised his fingertip to her cheek to wipe away the next tear before it fell. "Olivia…"

"Elliot," she said shaking her head, "last night while we were pretending to make love…I felt something."

He stared at her for a moment. "Oh my God," he said raising his hand to his brow. "Liv, I am so sorry. I thought I had enough blanket between us that you wouldn't feel anything."

She was confused again, but only for a second. "OH! No, no. NO! That is not what I felt! Meant!"

"It wasn't?"

"No. You?" She tipped her head and stared at him in curiosity.

"Umm. Yeah, I did."

Olivia smiled as he began to turn red.

"This is so humiliating," Elliot mumbled.

"Don't be humiliated, Elliot. The truth is that when I said I felt something last night. I meant I had a reaction. To you."

"To me?"

"Yes," she said softly. "So you are not the only one who has a reason to be embarrassed."

"Oh, a reaction?" He said raising one eyebrow.

"Yes," she almost growled hoping he wouldn't make her spell it out for him.

"As in…"

"YES!"

"Wow, I wasn't even trying."

"Elliot! Focus! This is a problem!"

He laughed. "Honey, I am just flattered that I still stir a reaction from a member of the opposite sex."

"But we are best friends. I am your partner. It is not supposed to be like this."

"Olivia, we are doing the best we can with the situation we are in. And as long as we stick together we will be fine. So we both had a reaction while simulating really hot sex. I could think of worse things."

"Wait. We both had a reaction?" She folded her arms and waited for clarification on the matter. "You mean you?"

"Left my calling card on the blanket? Yes. And this morning I threw it out."

"You threw away a hotel blanket?"

"Were you planning on saving it, Liv?"

Olivia laughed. "No. God, no."

Elliot smiled. "It's good to see you smile again."

"You make me smile a lot."

"Good, that is how life should be."

"Not my life, Elliot. Just you. Maybe more than I should."

His eyes fixed on hers.

Olivia felt uncomfortable in the silence and had to say something.

"So, did you talk to Kathy?"

"I don't want to talk about Kathy."

"I'm sorry. El, is everything okay."

"No, Liv it isn't. Actually, there are a few things I haven't told you. Kathy left me."

"Elliot, I am so sorry."

"I'm not. We weren't happy. Neither of us. For years all we did was make each other miserable. The voicemail the other morning, she said she was leaving. Moving out. She left the divorce papers on the desk at home for me to sign when I get back."

"Ouch."

"No, Liv. This is a good thing. I have stayed for the last few years because I felt an obligation to her and to the kids. But that is not love. Besides, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I realized that there is someone I have been interested in for quite some time now."

"Do I know her?"

"You do."

Olivia smiled. "Really? You know if you told me, I could put in a good word for you."

"You would do that?"

"Well, yes. You are my best friend, Elliot. I want you to be happy. And I will do anything I can to help."

"You don't think it is a little too soon?"

"No. Not if you have had feelings for this person for a while and things have pretty much been done between you and Kathy for a long time. Maybe Kathy drawing up divorce papers was a sign."

"Yeah, that she dumped my ass."

"No, that you should be happy."

"You think so?"

"I do."

Elliot turned to face her and gazed into her eyes. Before Olivia even realized that he had been talking about her, he had leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was amazing. It was passionate and steamy and everything all of the others had been. But this one was better, because this one was meant for her. Elliot Stabler was kissing Olivia Benson. Not Elliot Weston kissing his wife or some sleazy performance for some nasty billionaire. This moment was theirs.

That kiss was followed by a second and a third and a fourth and before they knew it they were in the elevator headed back up to their room. They had completely forgotten about their dinner reservation and had other things in mind.

Back inside the safety of their honeymoon suite the pair stumbled their way to the sofa. Olivia found herself on her back as Elliot smoothed his hands over every curve of her body over the dress. He kissed her passionately as he slipped one hand up the inside of her thigh and under the thin lace barrier of her panties.

Olivia's eyes widened and a soft groan escaped her lips as his fingertip found her clit and rubbed gently against the swollen nub. Elliot watched as she moved slowly against his hand as if begging for more. She bit her bottom lip and twisted his tie in her fingers.

Elliot laid across her body to kiss her and gaze into her eyes as he slipped two fingers inside of her. He brushed his nose against hers and kissed her tenderly as he moved his fingers inside her. Olivia panted against his mouth as she pulled him closer to her. She moaned obviously very pleased with every move he made.

"El," Olivia whispered kissing him softly.

"Yes?"

"I need a minute. I want to change," she said with a smile before she kissed him again.

"Okay," Elliot whispered back kissing her lips. He sat up allowing her to slip out from under him and watched her walk into the bedroom. She thrashed around in the armoire for a few minutes then darted off to the bathroom to change clothes.

Elliot took a deep breath and looked around the room. This was really going to happen for them. Finally. His eyes came to rest on the fireplace in the wall. For some reason he hadn't noticed it until right now. A smile slowly spread across his face as Elliot suddenly got an idea.

Olivia opened the bathroom door and walked through the dark bedroom and back out into the living room to join El. As she noticed the lights were dimmed and the room was lit by the beautiful fireplace. Walking around the edge of the couch she noticed the pallet Elliot had made for them in the floor using the blankets and pillows from the bed.

Rose petals from one of the centerpieces were scattered around the top blanket and a dusty pink colored rose laid in the center of her pillow.

"What do you think?" Elliot asked from across she turned to watch him close the double doors to the bedroom to allow them privacy from the camera.

"Elliot, this is amazing." He walked to her taking her hands in his and kissing her softly. "Everything is so beautiful."

"You are beautiful," he said tracing her full lips with his fingertip. "I want everything about tonight to be perfect. I want it to be everything you have ever imagined it would be." He cupped his hand to the side of her face as he kissed her again.

There was a knock at the door and Olivia turned her head to look at it, breaking their kiss. She pulled her robe closed around her gown and tied it shut.

"It's okay," Elliot said letting her hand slip from his as he moved to open the door, "it's just room service."

"Room service?"

"I called them," he said opening the door as a man pushed in a cart with a bottle of iced champagne and strawberries.

Olivia smiled and raised her hand to her mouth in surprise.

"Charge it to the room," Elliot said with a smile. "Oh and add an extra ten for you," he said to the kid who had pushed the cart in.

"Thank you, sir. You guys have a good night." The young man said looking Olivia over from head to toe then jotting his eyes back to Elliot giving him a look that said _**you lucky son of a bitch. **_

Elliot put a towel over the top of the bottle and popped the cork. He picked up two glasses from the bar area and poured them each one. He handed one to Olivia and uncovered the large metal bowl of strawberries.

"Here," he said raising the large red berry to her full lips for her to take a bite. "It is really good with the champagne."

Olivia smiled and licked her lips.

"It is good. But I kind of had something else in mind," she said with a seductive smile as she opened the robe to reveal another sexy night gown. This one only knee length and a pale blue color.

She dropped the robe to the floor and made her way slowly to the pile of bedding in front of the fire. She drew her finger up and motioned for him to come to her side. Elliot obeyed.

He watched the satin gown as it shimmered in the light of the fire. He leaned forward putting his hands on her body. Feeling the silky satin with his fingertips and then moving them against the warmth of her skin. He had never in his life seen anyone so perfectly put together.

Her sexy shoulders and toned arms were a warm golden color. And her long legs sent a thousand dirty thoughts through his mind. He reached out to her resting his hands on her hips then pulled her to him to kiss her.

Olivia raised her hand and began to unbutton his shirt as his hands made their way under her gown and firmly gripped her ass. She laughed a little pressing her forehead to his as he used his grip on her backside to pull her body against his. He lifted her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist and he dropped to his knees on the blankets.

Elliot laid her back against the pillow and leaned down to kiss her neck and shoulders. He picked up the rose from the pillow beside her and twisted it dragging the blossom slowly down her body. He raised one of her sexy legs placing her foot flat against the floor.

He placed the rose against the tip of her toes and moved it slowly up her the inside of her leg and thigh. Olivia trembled a little at the tickle of the soft petals against the delicate skin of her inner thigh. Elliot raised the gown exposing her flat stomach and let the top of the rose dance across there as well.

He peppered her belly with baby kisses as he began to circle her navel with the tip of his tongue. He kissed downward across her lace bikini underwear and slipped his fingers under the thin piece of elastic over each of her hips and began to pull the panties down this time rather than rip them off like before. He was watching the look in her eyes waiting for her to stop him. Instead she raised her hips from the blanket allowing him to slip them all the way off folding them up and tossing them aside.

Elliot pushed her knees apart as he began to kiss up the inside of her thigh and brushed his tongue gently against her clit. He felt the instant shutter of electricity beginning to surge through her body as she moaned and placed her hand on the top of his head.

He moved his tongue down into her center as he traced to soft petals of the pink rose along the inside of her thigh. Olivia curled her toes and began to make an almost whimper sound as he kissed his was up her belly and under the gown. Elliot raised the gown a little higher to expose her full breasts and hardened nipples. He pulled the satin fabric over her head leaving her completely naked in front of him for the first time.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered gently kissing her lips.

Olivia pushed his shirt from his shoulders and tugged at his belt until it was off as well.

"Slow down darlin' we got all night," he said smiling at her.

She laughed and he kissed her. Elliot kissed over her breasts tracing his tongue over each of them and giving it the one on one attention it deserved. Olivia sighed lustily as she closed her eyed and moved her hands over his strong back feeling each well defined muscle. She glided her hand down his chest and past the already open fly of his tuxedo pants. It continued down until she gripped in her hand his erect penis.

"Fuck," Elliot mumbled sliding his hand down onto hers. He stared into her eyes and guided her hand over his length, knowing she now knew exactly how badly he wanted her.

Olivia smiled leaning forward to kiss him as she pushed his pants and boxers down. He pushed them back until he was free of them and for a moment they laid there together just kissing and touching and exploring each other.

"I don't have anything," Elliot whispered softly against her ear.

"It's okay," she replied kissing him. "It is already taken care of."

"Oh," he said smiling against the side of her neck.

Olivia laughed as he rolled over her and began to position them for sex. Elliot kissed her softly, staring deep into her eyes as he entered her. He could tell by the look in her eyes that it had been a little while for her, so he took his time moving slowly until he could hear her breathing begin to speed up.

Tonight, this time anyway, was about him pleasing her. Showing his dedication to her. There were so many things he wanted to do to her, with her, but there would be time for that later.

It wasn't long before Olivia began to whimper under him and he could feel her body as it tightened around his. Elliot raised up over her staring down into her chocolate colored eyes as he moved just a little faster and a little harder. He listened to the sounds she made. The way she stared up at him while he made love to her was a huge turn on in it's self.

"Oh god," she whispered as she fast approached her finish. "God, yes. Yes, yes. Right there. Oh, oh yeah. Oh God, Elliot."

_**Shit**_, he thought. She said his name. He was here in this fancy hotel room having incredible sex with Olivia, his partner and she just said his name. And she put him in the same sentence as God. It couldn't get much better than this.

But moments later after feeling a rush of heat and her sudden gush of wetness. Kissing her and holding her and staring into her eyes as _he_ made her come, he knew it could.

Elliot laid beside her on the blanket. He rolled over beside her wrapping her tight in his arms and pulled the blankets up around them. He locked his fingers between hers and kissed the side of her neck and her shoulders. He picked up the dusty pink rose from the floor beside them and placed it in her hand as they watched the flicker of the flames in front of them.

"Wow," he said secretly hoping to pull a reaction from her.

"It was amazing."

"No, Liv. We were amazing. We are amazing." She yawned and he kissed her softly. "You should get some rest. It has been a long day."

"A long and very productive day. And you are the one who should get some rest."

"Oh yeah? Why is that?"

"Because here in a few hours I am going to wake up and want to do that again," she said with a smile.

"Baby, we can do that as many times as you want. Or as many times as you will let me."

She laughed and settled into Elliot's arms.

"Olivia, you know this is more than just sex for me, right?"

"It is for me too, El."

"Honey, what I am trying to say is… I love you. I have for as long as I can remember. I can't deny that anymore."

"I love you, too Elliot."

"You know what else I was thinking?" He asked.

"What were you thinking?" She asked.

"I was thinking about calling room service again." Olivia laughed. "We didn't eat dinner. Not to mention we just worked up an appetite. Seriously, I am calling room service. I'll get the menu."


	8. 8 Love & Life

_**Illusive Perception**_

_**(Chapter Eight: Love & Life)**_

**Olivia shifted against his body and opened her eyes. They had both fallen asleep shortly after the fourth time they had made love. She now found herself wrapped tightly in Elliot's strong arms. **

**She looked up at him still sleeping and smiled. She watched the warm glow on their bare skin from the fire a few feet away. She moaned softly and stretched. Part of her wanted to let him rest and the other part was recharged and ready to go again. **

**It had been so long since she had experienced really good sex. And since her stint at Sealview she had found it hard to allow her self to trust anyone long enough to get close to them. **

**She had been on a few dates. With strangers. One or two of those leading to a few hours of meaningless, but protected and remotely satisfying sex. After which she practically pushed the man from her bed and stopped returning his phone calls. **

**But something was different now. This was Elliot. The only one person in the world who knew her, really knew her. And somehow that made all the difference in the world. **

**Olivia trusted him. Fully. She always had. She loved him. They loved each other. And that, she thought, was what made this thing between them so incredible. **

**And this, whatever it may be, was so much better couple of one night stands she had over the past year. One with a man who was ready for his finish just moments after she had gotten the condom on. And the other with a man who tried his best to please her, but couldn't make her come. After realizing that it just wasn't going to happen for her, Olivia gave up and just faked "the big O" for the chance to get some sleep. She had been left more than a little disappointed, both times.**

**But she knew the first time Elliot touched her, that he was different. That with them making love could never be dull or boring. And there was nothing fake about anything that had taken place between them over the past few hours. For the first time in their lives, every touch, every kiss, every moment, was real. She knew he could never let her down the way other's had. **

**Olivia propped herself on one elbow and watched the rise and fall of each breath he took. She laid her chin against his chest and closed her eyes trying to fall back to sleep, but it was no use. Sleep wasn't what she **_**needed**_** right now.**

**She leaned forward kissing Elliot's lips tenderly. She kissed around the side of his cheek and gently bit his earlobe. Elliot groaned a little stirred around, but didn't open his eyes. **

**Olivia laughed and brushed the bridge of her nose against his. She rubbed her body against his and moaned softly. **

"**El," she whispered as she dragged two fingers gently up his chest until they rested against his lips. "Elliot," she growled a little louder into his ear.**

**He chuckled a little and opened his eyes to look into hers. "Yes?"**

"**Elllllll," she moaned staring at him seductively. "Wake up," she whispered against his lips.**

"**I'm awake," he said with a smile. "What can I do for you?"**

**Olivia smiled as her eyes widened. "Well, I was thinking maybe we could do a little more of umm, what we did before."**

**Elliot wrapped his arm around her and kissed her lips. "I love the way you think."**

**Olivia sat up and straddled his waist. She kissed him passionately and moaned softly. She kissed slowly down his body as she stared up at him.**

"**Tell me what you want," she whispered.**

"**Oh, yeah." Elliot watched her as she disappeared under the blanket. Moments later he felt the tip of her tongue as she dragged it over the head of his cock. He groaned and tangled his fingers in her hair as she moved her mouth down over him. Several long minutes later she emerged from under the blanket, kissing her way back up to his mouth.**

"**Did you decide what you want to do?" She almost purred.**

**Elliot laughed. "Everything we have **_**pretended**_** to do over the last week." **

**Olivia smiled seductively. "Where would you like to start?" She asked turning away from him on her hands and knees, looking at him over her shoulder. **

**Elliot smiled almost embarrassed. "Wow."**

**Olivia laughed again as Elliot grabbed her and kissed her.**

**Four hours later they laid curled up in each other's arms and watched the sunrise through the window of their suite.**

"**You're right," Elliot said kissing her shoulder. "That was amazing."**

"**So, Mr. Weston, what should we do today?"**

"**Well, this is our last night in the room. I say we lay around here, order room service, tryout the Jacuzzi jets in the bathtub, maybe get a his and hers massage. Have a little more honeymoon sex."**

**Olivia smiled. "Sounds great," she said kissing him. **

**As they laid back down and things began to heat up again, Elliot Weston's cell phone rang.**

**Olivia stared into his eyes as he reached to the end table and picked it up. "Let's get this over with," he said opening the phone and placing it to his ear.**

**She watched nervously as Elliot spoke to Drake DeLuca.**

"**Yes. Yeah, yeah, that sounds great. Three o'clock. Down in front, alright. Sounds great. See you then." Elliot closed the phone and tossed it onto the couch as laid back on the blanket beside her.**

"**That was it?" She asked looking over at him.**

"**He wants me to meet him for golf. He is sending a car to pick me up at three. He has a business meeting then he is going to meet me on the green."**

"**Elliot," she said shaking her head, "you don't play golf."**

"**Fifty bucks says he doesn't show. This is it, Liv. This is his way of getting me out of the room so he can make his move." he turned his head to look at her. "He took the bait."**

"**Well, the good news is it will all be over soon. Then we can go back home."**

"**Olivia, be careful. This man is a monster."**

"**I can handle him, El. I'll be fine."**

**She curled up beside him and laid her head on his chest.**

"**It has been a long and crazy week," Elliot said kissing the top of her head. "I got married, got divorced and I fell in love. I guess I don't really do things by the books. I'm with you and haven't even divorced Kathy yet."**

"**Elliot, Kathy left. You didn't do anything wrong."**

"**Olivia, I am not saying that I think this is wrong. I love you. This is where I want to be. With you. But lets be honest here, Liv. I have been a better husband to you in six days, then I have to her in twenty two years. I wasn't there for her."**

"**You tried to be. You gave it all you had. You are a damn good father."**

**Elliot smiled and kissed her again. "I hope so."**

"**I know so," she said softly. "There isn't a thing in the world that you wouldn't do for your children or give to them for that matter. They are all healthy, smart, happy, well grounded kids with a bright future. They may have had a little trouble here and there, but what kid hasn't? They are going to make strong adults someday and it is all because of you."**

"**Tell me again why you don't have children? You have such a great perspective on the subject."**

"**Well, I never found a man I wanted to have them with."**

"**For your sake I hope that changes. You are going to make an amazing mother someday, Olivia."**

"**I would love to have a couple of kids, someday. Hell, I wouldn't mind having one someday soon. But I want it to be with someone who is going to be a good father. I want my kids to have a dad."**

"**Makes sense. You are supposed to want more in life for your kids than what you had. Part of being a good parent is wanting the best for them."**

**Olivia sat up pulling the sheet around her and looking into the fire burning a few feet away. **

"**You know, if you really want a baby, we could have one together."**

"**Elliot," she said tipping her head to smile at him. "We are not even dating. We spent the night and a large portion of the morning making love, but you are still legally married to your wife. We work crazy hours and are hardly ever home. Besides, you have five children already."**

"**What does that have to do with anything?"**

"**I just figured after five you wouldn't want anymore."**

"**You think because I have five kids with her I wouldn't want to have them with you? That is silly. I love kids, Liv. And I love you. I think we would make an amazing baby together."**

"**You do?" She asked with a smile.**

"**I do. I know that we are kind of just stating out like this, relationship wise. But we have been friends forever. We will be friends forever. And I know that even if a relationship didn't work out we could still raise a child together."**

"**You think so?"**

"**Yeah. You are always going to be a big part of my life, Liv. No matter what. I think it would be perfect. Think about it. It is better than having a baby with a guy you are dating. Then you have a bad break up and have to fight for custody. You have to worry about him running off with your kid or even being a part of the child's life. You know me. And I'm not going anywhere."**

**She laid back down on the blanket and rubbed her hands over her face.**

"**You really want to have a baby with me?"**

"**Yes," Elliot said laying down beside her. "If you want to have one with me."**

**Olivia smiled and rolled in against him. "Okay. But I have a few conditions."**

**Elliot laughed. "What might those be?"**

"**I think we should plan it."**

"**I thought that was what we were doing now."**

"**No, I mean like wait until your divorce is worked out and final. Then I am going to need a bigger place. Until then we work on the relationship part. This. After a few months when our lives are back to normal and we are past all of this undercover stuff and the divorce, then we start trying to have a baby. I don't want this to be an accident. I want us to have a baby when we are ready to have a baby, not until."**

"**Sounds reasonable," Elliot replied with a smile.**

**Olivia laid her head against his chest. She smoothed her hand across his abs until it reached his hand then locked her fingers in his. "I love you, El." She said looking into his eyes. "I have loved you for so long."**

"**I know baby. I love you, too." He leaned in and kissed her as he began to move his hands over her body.**

**Olivia laughed as his fingertips tickled the soft flesh of her belly. "What are you doing? You have to go meet DeLuca."**

"**I know, I just thought we could practice for when we decide to have a baby before I go."**

**Olivia smiled and pulled him over her kissing him passionately.**


	9. 9 Confusion

_**Illusive Perception**_

_**(Chapter Nine: Confusion)**_

**After a his and hers massage, a romantic candle lit bubble bath and a little room service brunch Elliot got ready to go meet DeLuca. Olivia sat in the sofa wearing only a fluffy white terry cloth bathrobe and watched him buzz around the room getting dressed.**

**Elliot pulled his cell phone from his pocket and called the captain of the twenty seventh precinct.**

"**I just wanted to let you know DeLuca called me this morning wanting to play golf. I think he is going to make his move."**

"**We will be ready for him. I will let my guys on the inside know. I am moving a team into and around the hotel. That way when we are ready we can take him down quicker."**

"**How far out will your guys be?"**

"**Detective Stabler, your partner will be fine."**

"**No offense, but I don't know you or any of your men. My partner is here alone and unarmed with a serial rapist. You are using her for bait and I am not even going to be in the same building. I can't help but be nervous about this," Elliot snapped as he looked over at Olivia and stared into her eyes.**

"**Detective Stabler, Detective Benson is a big girl and I am sure she is perfectly capable of fending for herself. I will have men there. Once he makes his move and gets inside, we will move on him. I promise you your partner will be unharmed."**

"**I hope so. Because if anything happens to her I am holding you personally responsible and I will track you down and kill you myself."**

**Olivia blinked as she gazed at him and took a deep breath. She would never tell Elliot, but she was nervous as well. If she told him that she were having doubts and was scared then he would never leave her side and it would blow the entire case.**

**Elliot closed the phone and tossed it on the couch beside her. He walked around the room for a moment and rubbed his hands over his face, then made a growling sound to vent a little frustration.**

"**I know you can handle this. I don't want you to think for a second that I doubt your abilities as a Detective. I just don't like this. You are running blind here, with no weapon. And I might be okay with that if….if…"**

"**If you were going to be on the other side of that door when I needed help. I understand, Elliot. For years it has been your job to back me up. And now you can't be here. But I think everything will be okay. We have handled worse than this before."**

"**I know, Liv. It is just after everything that happened with Sealview….I made a promise to myself and a promise to you that I would never let you work one of these alone again. And now here we are."**

**Olivia stood up and walked to his side. Elliott looked down at his watch. "It is seven after three."**

"**You need to get going. I want to get this over with so we can just go home and get on with our lives," Olivia said staring into him.**

"**I love you so much," Elliot said brushing his thumb across her lips. "And I meant what I said to him on the phone. If anything happens to you, I'll kill him."**

"**Nothing is going to happen. This is going to go down smoothly. And by this time tomorrow we will be tangled up in the sheets on my bed making love until we pass out from exhaustion. I love you, too."**

**Elliot kissed her tenderly. He hugged her tight and held her for a moment, then kissed her again. Olivia walked him to the door and waved good bye as she watched him get into the elevator.**

**Back inside the hotel room she quickly got dressed. She sat down on the sofa, filing her nails and turned on the television to wait. She picked up her cell phone and as she received a text from the captain they were working with.**

'**We are watching DeLuca. He is still in the hotel and I have a man following him. We think he may be on his way up to your room.'**

**Just then Olivia heard a knock at the door. "Here we go," she said aloud as she quickly deleted the text and put away the phone. **

**She took a deep breath and walked toward the door. "Mr. DeLuca," she said with a smile as she opened the door to greet him. "My husband just left to meet you."**

"**Oh, I spoke to Elliot on his way out. I got called for a meeting here in a little while and I am going to be unable to join him on the green today. I gave him the keys to my golf cart and suggested he go ahead and play a few rounds. I brought champagne as an apology."**

"**That is very sweet of you, if you can just put it in the ice bucket I am sure we will enjoy that later." **

**Olivia walked back inside the room allowing him to enter behind her. She listened as DeLuca closed and locked the door behind him. **

"**Actually, Mrs. Weston, I was thinking maybe you and I could share a glass now."**

"**Isn't it a little early?" Olivia asked gazing into his eyes. She smiled at him even though the man made her stomach churn knowing all of the awful things he had done.**

"**It is never too early for an amazing glass of champagne. I'll get some glasses." She watched as DeLuca made his way to the bar and popped the cork in the bottle. He poured them each a glass and handed her one.**

"**Thank you," she said with a polite smile. Olivia walked aimlessly around the room for a few minutes sitting her glass down. "So, what brings you up here, Mr. DeLuca?"**

"**Oh, after the other day. The thing in the elevator, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."**

"**I was a little startled. But I think I will be fine."**

"**You know sometimes when a traumatic even like that happens, it takes a while to fully recover." **

**DeLuca raised his hand to touch the small of her back and slipped his other hand over hers. They were standing right in front of the bedroom and she knew this was it. DeLuca placed one hand on the side of her cheek and attempted to move in to kiss her. Olivia let him get just close enough then pulled away.**

"**Mr. DeLuca, I am a married woman."**

"**And your husband is a very lucky man."**

"**Thank you, but I think you should leave."**

"**He is a fool to leave you alone like this on your honeymoon."**

"**He is a business man. Sometimes he has to leave."**

"**He left you to go play golf."**

"**Don't you have a meeting soon?"**

"**No, actually I don't."**

**Olivia stared at him.**

"**I made it up. I just wanted to come spend a little time with you."**

"**I really think you should leave now. Thank you for the hospitality and the champagne, but you should leave. Now."**

"**You can't throw me out, Mrs. Weston," he laughed. "I own the building."**

"**Please, just go."**

**DeLuca leaned in and kissed her. Okay, now Olivia was pissed off. Where the hell were these men who were supposed to be backing her up? She didn't give a shit about their stupid case anymore, this man was really starting to freak her out. **

**DeLuca groped her ass pulling her body in against his and tried to back her toward the bedroom. Olivia punched him and pushed him off of her.**

"**Don't touch me. My husband will be back soon. You need to leave!"**

"**No, Olivia. Your husband wont be back for a few more hours. We have all of the time in the world."**

**He grabbed her again trying to over power her and Olivia began to have little flashbacks of her attack at Sealview.**

"**No," she shouted as she pushed him back slamming him into a table. **

**She turned and moved further into the living room trying to find something to defend herself with. But DeLuca was hot on her heels. He lunged at her, grabbing her and slamming her against the wall the back of her head hitting a mirror and breaking it. He pulled her to the floor as they struggled. **

**WHERE THE HELL WAS HER BACK UP? **

**He flipped her over on the carpet and slid her body toward him ripping her blouse nearly off. Olivia hit him in the face with the heel of her hand and tried to crawl away. But as she did DeLuca grabbed her legs and kept pulling at her. **

**Olivia fought him off the best she could but her was beginning to over power her. Still behind her, he wrapped his hands around her throat and began to choke her until she could barely breathe. Olivia gasped for air as she reached forward for any thing to fight back with. With her fingertips she grabbed the poker form the fireplace and grasped it tight in her hand. She spun around and hit DeLuca as hard as she could with it, then kicked him off of her.**

**Olivia fell back onto the carpet trying to catch her breath. She gasped for air and clutched her throat trying to stand. Behind her, DeLuca struggled to his feet as well.**

"**We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either works for me. I consider this foreplay. But it **_**is**_** going to happen. And if you are as smart as I think you are you will just let nature take its course."**

"**Fuck you!" Olivia yelled as the someone kicked open the hotel room door and people began to file inside. **

**DeLuca grabbed Olivia pulling her in front of him, he pulled a piece of the broken mirror dug the sharp pointed edge into the flesh under her chin.**

"**I will fucking slit her throat!" He yelled at the men in front of him.**

"**F.B.I. DeLuca, put it down!"**

**Olivia gasped as a thousand thought raced through her mind. Only one stood out above the others. She wanted Elliot.**

**She watched helplessly as the Detectives from the twenty seventh precinct filed in around the F.B.I. agents. **

"**Just let her go DeLuca," one man shouted. "We have the place surrounded. You will never make it out of here."**

"**I will walk right out the front door. Or she dies."**

"**Unfortunately you do not make the deals around here Mr. DeLuca," the man said.**

**The comment must have really pissed DeLuca off because Olivia felt the sharp edge of the glass dig into her throat. She gasped and winced in pain as she felt her own warm blood running down the inside of her blouse.**

"**Let her go!"**

"**Not going to happen, gentlemen."**

**DeLuca moved and a man shot. At first it was unclear who had made the shot, but seconds later a second and third shot were fired and DeLuca fell to the floor.**

"**We need a bus!" The captain of the twenty seventh precinct called out as he ran to Olivia's side. **

**She laid unconscious in the floor in a pool of her own blood. DeLuca had turned her in front of him to shield his own body from the bullet. **


	10. 10 Blame

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Ten: Blame)_

Elliot paced the floor in the hospital waiting room where Olivia had been rushed nearly an hour earlier. No one would tell him anything, except that she had been shot. He rubbed his hands over his face nervously, then slammed his fist into the wall and headed out into the hallway.

He watched as Cragen stepped off the elevator.

"Are you happy now?" Elliot snapped. "If it weren't for you she never would have been in the middle of this mess!"

"I suggest you back up and check yourself Detective Stabler! Your partner was just doing her job!"

"She was doing exactly what you sent her in there for! You sent her in as bait! This is all your fault! You know it and I know it!" Elliot punched the metal paneling of the elevator door leaving a small but noticeable dent in it that part of him had honestly wished would have been left in Cragen's forehead.

"I suggest you have a seat and calm down before they decide to press charges on you. Elliot this is not what Olivia needs right now!"

Elliot stepped back and paced toward the other end of the hallway. As he did he heard Cragen speak to someone.

"What the Hell happened in there?" Cragen asked.

"F.B.I. got involved. It seems there are three more victims in L.A. and two in Chicago. They moved in and held up my guys. During the standoff one of my men shot at DeLuca. He used Detective Benson as a shield."

"You son of a bitch!" Elliot yelled as he moved quickly across the room and punched the man in the nose causing blood to pour everywhere. He grabbed the man by his collar and slammed him up against the wall. "You promised me that she would be alright! That she was safe! You told her you had her back! Then one of your men fucking shot her!"

"Detective Stabler!" Cragen shouted at Elliot. "I would hate to have to arrest my own detective! The only reason you are not in handcuffs right now is because your partner needs you! If it weren't for Olivia being in surgery right now, your ass would be sitting in a holding cell cooling down! I am done doing favors!"

Elliot released the man allowing his to slide down the wall. "You'd better pray she doesn't die. Because I swear to God I will kill you!" Elliot stormed toward the other end of the hallway. "Get the Hell out of here!"

The man moved quickly toward the elevator to escape. For three more hours Elliot paced the waiting room with no answers. Then finally a doctor came to talk to them.

"Is she going to be alright?" Elliot asked the doctor.

"Mr. Stabler, I just removed two bullets from your partner. Both did significant amounts of damage. I have repaired what I can. She is resting right now. The surgery went well, but the next few days are critical. I will be monitoring her closely. This could still really go either way."

"What about DeLuca?" Cragen asked.

"He died in surgery. The bullet that hit him shattered a lung. We were unable to save him. You can see her if you'd like. One at a time, though. I can't have too much stimulation going on around her right now. She really needs to sleep."

"You go in and see her, Elliot. I'll come back in the morning to check on her. Call me if anything changes."

"I will," Elliot said softly. "Listen captain," Elliot said in his worst attempt at an apology, "thanks for helping me out back there."

"I didn't do it for you," Cragen said looking toward the door leading down the hall to where Olivia was being held. "She has no one else. You are her family Elliot and she needs you. Especially right now. I am angry at how this thing turned out, too. And you damn bet ya I am going to find out what the Hell went down in that room. Right now, you take care of her here. I'm gonna try to take care of the rest of this mess."

The doctor lead Elliot back to a dark room where Olivia laid resting. She looked so pale and weak from all of the blood she had lost. Elliot brushed his fingertips across her forehead and kissed her lips.

"I love you baby," he said as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I have given her medication to make her sleep for now. Her body needs the rest to repair itself. It should wear off sometime tomorrow. I'm not supposed to let you in after hours, but I don't have anyone else to call for her. You can stay if you want. You can hold her hand, but try not to talk to her too much or touch her a lot. The stimulation speeds up her brain activity and heart rate and can do more damage than good. I just need her to sleep for now."

"Thank you doctor," Elliot said sitting down in a chair beside her bed.

* * *

When Elliot woke the next morning the sunlight was barely peeking through the blinds. He still gripped Olivia's hand tight in his and a nurse was checking her vitals. Elliot watched the woman carefully and gently worked with Olivia checking all of her monitors and wires.

"Vitals look really good," she said softly smiling at Elliot. "The doctor will be in shortly to look at the wounds. I'll come back in a little while to change her dressings."

Several minutes later the doctor entered the room to check on her as well. He pulled back the bandages from her bullet wounds and inspected them. Then he examined the small cuts on her throat as well.

"She's doing very well," the doctor said. "Wounds look good. Vitals are perfect. I'm going to wean her off the medication that is keeping her asleep. She should wake up in the next couple of hours. I'll get someone in here redress these wounds and get some of these monitors out of here. She doesn't need them anymore."

"She's going to be okay?" Elliot asked.

"We're not completely out of the woods, yet. But she is looking much better. She looks good. I'll be able to tell you more over the next couple of days."

"Thank you doctor," Elliot said with a smile as he kissed Olivia's hand.

"I'll be back in a few hours to check on her. If you need anything call the nurse and she'll page me."

"I will, thanks."

Elliot laid his head down beside her on the bed and held her hand in his until he had fallen asleep once more.

"Elliot."

He stirred a little to the sound of the soft voice. She raised her hand and brushed her fingers through his short hair.

"El," she whispered softly.

"Yeah," he groaned as he raised his head and rubbed his eyes. "you're awake."

Olivia smiled and spoke softly, "I'm awake." Her words were almost breathless and he could tell she had little energy. "But I'm so tired."

"The doctor gave her some medicine to make you tired so you would sleep. To help you heal."

"Oh," she mumbled softly as she yawned. Her eyes were heavy and she stared at him as she locked her fingers in his. "What happened?"

"You were shot twice. In the stand off with DeLuca. Cragen is trying to get the details, now."

"Did they get him?"

"Yeah," Elliot smiled at her. "They got him. DeLuca was shot back at the hotel. He died in surgery. He will never hurt anyone else ever again."

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

"I am now," he said with a smile as he leaned forward and softly kissed her lips. "I love you so much, Liv. This scared the Hell out of me. And almost got me arrested."

"What?" Olivia asked with a smile.

"I punched the captain of the two seven in the nose. I think I broke it. Cragen almost arrested me. They put you in danger. Liv. They put you in danger and promised to protect you. But no one was there when you needed that protection. And you got hurt. He just made me so angry and I was so scared and I hit him."

Olivia smiled. "You hit him?"

"Yeah, I did. He stumbled back against the wall. I wanted to just keep hitting him over and over. I would have probably killed him if Cragen hadn't been there."

"That wouldn't have fixed anything, El."

"I know. And Cragen pointed that out, too. But somehow in that moment, that was what felt right. It was the only sense of justice I could get for you. I reacted. I didn't think about it."

"Elliot, come here." Olivia reached for him holding his hand tight as he leaned forward to kiss her lips. "I love you," she said gazing into his eyes and brushing her hand over his cheek. "I know why you did it. And I am flattered, El. But reacting like this is only going to get you into trouble."

"Liv, I don't really even know why I did it."

"I do. It's that over protective thing inside you. The same thing that makes me know that you would do the same thing for your children. Someone you cared about was in danger and you were scared. You acted on your fear. It is human, Elliot."

"I was scared. I was so afraid I was going to lose you. And so angry. Angry at him for not protecting you. Angry at Cragen for getting us involved in the first place."

"I'm going to be fine. I just need a little recovery time. I'm not going anywhere. And you are never going to lose me," Olivia smiled at him with warm eyes.

"The doctor said we're not completely out of the woods yet. He wants to watch you for the next few days, just to be sure everything is alright."

"Shhh. Just stay with me. Relax. You look like you could use some rest also. Then tonight you can order us some real food so we don't have to eat this hospital stuff. And hopefully in just a few days I can go home."

"I can't wait to get you out of here. Take you home and I'll take care of you."

"Take care of me?"

"Yeah, feed you Jell-O and give you sponge baths."

Olivia laughed a little, then groaned. "Oh, don't make me laugh. It hurts to laugh."

"I'm sorry baby," Elliot said kissing her softly. "But I am going to take good care of you. We just have to get you out of here first."

Elliot brushed his nose against hers and kissed her tenderly. "Now try to get some sleep."

"Okay," Olivia said softly.


	11. 11 StirCrazy

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Eleven: Stir-Crazy)_

Olivia walked into the bullpen for the first time in nearly four months. After two surgeries and numerous physical therapy sessions she finally seemed to be healed enough that it was safe for her to return to work. Though she was left pretty much only with a couple of scars from the bullet wounds, Cragen was still babying her and placed her on desk duty for a while.

_Better than being stuck at home, _Olivia thought to herself as she sat down at her desk and turned on the computer. She spent the next few days sitting at that desk typing up reports and finishing paperwork, typing up her statement on the DeLuca case and answering phones for the SVU. Olivia was bored out of her mind.

"There she is," Munch said returning from court and tossing his jacket onto the chair in front of his desk. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Completely healed up!" She boasted. "Well, pretty much."

"Good to have you back," Munch said handing her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks. I kind of missed being around here."

"Please. You got to lay around, sleep in and watch soap operas all day. Beats being here any day."

Olivia laughed. "I'm not one for soap operas."

"So what did you do for four months?"

"Read, mostly. Elliot kept me stocked up on tabloid magazines and crime novels."

"Nice."

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, keeping up on the latest celebrity news. Did you know that Madonna adopted an Martian baby a few weeks ago? But she has to keep it hidden because it's green skin is sensitive to sunlight." She joked with a smile.

"Isn't Mars her home planet?" He joked.

Olivia laughed.

"It's good to have you back, Liv."

"It's good to be back. I was starting to go a little stir-crazy."

That evening after work Olivia went home and kicked off her shoes. She opened a container of Haagen-Das rock road and fed herself two bites before replacing the lid. Then she moved to the back of the apartment to take a shower.

Olivia had just settled in on the sofa with a diet soda and a bag of Doritos when she heard the door bell ring. A smile spread across her face as she stood up and walked across the room to let him in.

"Hey El," she said with a smile.

"I brought food," he replied carrying in two bags of groceries. "Thought I'd make dinner."

"I have food you know?"

"Oh yeah? Doritos again tonight, huh?" Elliot said nodding at the bag of chips on the coffee table. He cupped his hand and placed it on the side of her face as he stared into her eyes and in seconds he was kissing her passionately. "How are you feeling?" He asked as he returned his attention to the groceries on the counter.

"Amazing after that kiss," she said with a smile. "It there anything I can help with?"

"As a matter of fact there is," he said pushing her toward the sofa and handing her the remote control. "You can find us a movie to watch."

"Elliot!"

"Olivia! You are never going to get well if you don't eat right. And rocky road ice cream and tortilla chips are not healthy foods."

"So what are you making?"

"Steak fajitas."

"That sounds so good."

"Well, I knew you didn't have food in the apartment."

"I just went shopping. Where do you think I got the chips and ice cream?"

Elliot opened the refrigerator to reveal one egg, a small tub of butter, half a gallon of expired milk, three slices of cheese, bottled water and diet soda. He shook his head and laughed. "What exactly were planning on eating tonight?"

"Grilled cheese."

"That's not bad," he admitted.

"Then I realized I didn't have any bread."

Elliot smiled. "I swear."

"There is always take out. I have Mr. Choo's on speed dial. And menus for the pizza place on the corner and the deli down the block, by the phone. I am not going to starve."

"Not while I'm around anyway."

Olivia smiled again as she slid down into the sofa. The truth was in the four months since she had been shot, Elliot had been at her apartment every night to take care of her. They had kind of been dating. Kathy had filed the divorce papers and next week he was due in court for the final appearance before the divorce was final.

She knew coming over here and taking care of her was helping to keep Elliot's mind off of Kathy and the kids. Or not Kathy so much, but the kids. He had never been away from any of them for more than a few days and now his time with his children was about to be reduced to every other weekend and holidays.

About three months ago Elliot had gotten his own apartment about six blocks from Olivia's. And someday he would actually spend the night there. Lately however, he had been staying here with her and waiting on her pretty much hand and foot. Including cooking dinner for her every night. She knew that tonight would be no exception.

Elliot carried two plates of food to the dining room table and lit the candles in the center. He poured two glasses of her favorite wine and pulled out the chair for Olivia. He smiled at her across the room and extended his hand as she placed hers in it.

"Would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner?"

"I would love to," she replied with a smile.

That night they fell asleep together on the sofa watching a movie. Olivia slept curled up in Elliot's arms with her cheek pressed against his chest listening to the gently thump of his heart beat.

The next morning as Elliot and Munch sat across the room going over the details of their case in court, Olivia noticed a woman wondering around the bullpen.

"Can I help you ma'am?" She asked as she approached the woman.

"Umm, I needed to speak to someone. It is Jennifer," she said holding up a photo of a dark haired woman, "she is missing."

"Okay," Olivia said trying to comfort the woman, "you are going to want to speak to someone in missing persons and file a report." Olivia pointed the way to the elevator.

"But they sent me up here."

Olivia looked confused. "How long has Jennifer been missing?"

"I have not seen her in three days."

"How old is she?"

"Twenty two, I think. She goes to NYU."

"Okay ma'am, why don't I walk with you down to missing persons? I will make sure that we get you to the right person to help you find your daughter."

"Oh, Jennifer is not my daughter."

"I'm sorry, I must have gotten confused. I thought that…"

"No. Jennifer is pregnant with my baby."

Olivia stopped and looked at the woman as the elevator doors opened. A pregnant twenty two year old college student missing for three days, Jennifer just became an SVU case.


	12. 12 Suspect

_**Illusive Perception**_

_**(Chapter Twelve: Suspect)**_

"**Jennifer Parks," Olivia announced as she taped Jennifer's picture to the board in from of her. "Twenty two year old student at NYU. She is seven months pregnant and has been missing for three days. Marlena Price, is the woman who came in to report Jennifer missing. She and her husband David, a professor at NYU, are the biological parents of Jennifer's baby."**

"**She was a surrogate?" Elliot asked looking at the pictures.**

"**Yeah. Marlena said that she didn't really think anything of Jennifer not coming around for a few days until she missed her sonogram. They were supposed to learn the sex of the baby and when Jennifer didn't show up, Marlena went looking for her."**

"**Anything from the husband?"**

"**Hubby is on a business trip in Maine. He is not scheduled to be back until next week."**

"**That right there doesn't add up," Elliot pointed out. "Something's not right."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Why would NYU send a professor away to Maine for two weeks…."**

"**Ten days."**

"**Ten days, on a business trip in the middle of midterms?"**

**Olivia stared at him.**

"**I have two kids in college. Every school in the country is doing midterm prep right now, that is all Maureen is talking about."**

"**So we really need to track down the husband and talk to him. And talk to his employer's at NYU." **

**Olivia drew a big question mark beside the drivers license photo of David Price that she had taped on the board.**

"**What about the girl's family or friends?"**

"**According to Marlena Price, there is no one. Parents are dead and she has no family in the area. She mentioned a former college roommate, but said that she and David helped Jennifer get into her own place a few months back when she agreed to be their surrogate. I am working on an ID from the system."**

"**Got it," Munch said handing an ID photo to Olivia. "Katie Haile, twenty one, here is her current address. You want Fin and I to go talk to her?"**

"**No," Cragen said from behind them. "Munch and Fin go talk to the school, find out exactly why Mr. Price went on a business trip in the middle of the school year."**

"**What about us, Captain?" Olivia asked.**

"**You are not back in the field, yet."**

"**Please, don't do this," she pleaded looking at him. "I am fine, I am healed and I am ready to work. This case came to me. I need to do this."**

"**It's your call," he said looking at Elliot.**

"**My call?"**

"**It's your ass. You feel she is ready enough to come back full force?"**

"**It's a few questions, Cap. Not a take down. She can handle the footwork."**

**Cragen stared back at Olivia. "Fine."**

"**Yes! Thank you."**

"**Not so fast. You do the footwork ask the questions and I'll even let you take the lead on this end. But if things get crazy and we have to make an arrest, you stand down. I am not about to let you get hurt again or risk the safety of other detectives, because I know you are not ready for that part yet. Those are the conditions."**

"**Okay, no problem."**

"**Get out there and work your case detective."**

* * *

**Elliot and Olivia went to the dorm room of Katie Haile. A young woman with blonde hair and green eyes opened the door. Elliot could not help but think how much she reminded him of Maureen. Except for her eye color, the girl could have easily passed as one of his children.**

"**Katie, we need to ask you a few questions about you former roommate, Jennifer Parks."**

"**Sure," Katie said to Olivia as she sat down on the edge of the bed.**

"**When was the last time you saw Jennifer?" Elliot asked.**

"**We have a couple of classes together. We're both Psych major's. But she has not been in class in a few days. I just assumed she wasn't feeling well."**

"**Has she been sick?" Olivia asked.**

"**Not sick really. More like run down or overwhelmed. She carries a pretty full work load and now with this pregnancy, I think it is really starting to get to her."**

"**It sounds like the two of you are pretty close, it must have really hurt when she decided to move out and get her own place," Elliot said watching her reaction.**

"**Oh, not at all. She is pregnant, detective. She is going to need the extra space for when the baby comes."**

"**I thought Jennifer was a surrogate? She can't keep that baby if it is not hers."**

"**You must have something confused. Jennifer's baby was hers. She got pregnant after a frat party several months ago. She told me. She was keeping the baby."**

"**And the baby's father?" Olivia asked.**

**Katie just looked at them as though she had already said too much. **

"**Katie, if you know anything, you need to tell us. Right now Jennifer and her baby are missing. And we need to find her before something bad happens to them."**

"**Ray Price," she said softly. "Jennifer's boyfriend."**

"**Price, as in Professor Price?"**

"**Ray, is his son. From his first marriage." **

"**Katie, where can we find Ray?"**

"**Guy's dorm across campus."**

"**Thank you."**

**Elliot and Olivia walked out of the room and headed across campus to track down Ray Price.**

"**What the Hell is going on here?" Olivia asked.**

"**I don't know, but I intend to find out."**

"**Marlena Price gave me some sob story about how she and her husband could have no children and Jennifer was the answer to their prayers. She had to know in investigating Jennifer's disappearance we would realize her story was bullshit."**

"**Let's see what Ray can tell us," Elliot said banging on his door.**

**Ray was at work at the campus book store so they made yet another trip across campus and pulled him aside to get in a few words with him.**

"**Ray Price, when was the last time you saw Jennifer Parks?"**

"**About four days ago."**

"**Your girlfriend is pregnant with your baby and you have not heard from her in four days?"**

"**Jennifer is not my girlfriend. I am dating Katie, now."**

"**The roommate?" Olivia asked.**

"**It's a long story. Jennifer and I only dated for a few weeks. We broke up and I started dating Katie. A few months in Jen comes to me and says she is pregnant. I didn't know what to do."**

"**What did you do?"**

"**We talked about it and decided neither of us was ready for a baby. I went to my dad and asked for money to help pay for an abortion."**

"**But Jennifer didn't have an abortion," Olivia pointed out, "she is still pregnant."**

"**My dad said he would take care of it. Then the next thing I knew Jen moved out of she and Katie's dorm and into her own apartment. My dad and Marlena said they were adopting the baby. They started telling everyone it was theirs and Jen was a surrogate for them."**

"**And Jennifer was okay with that?" Elliot asked.**

"**She seemed fine with it. Neither of us really wanted to abort the baby, we just didn't know what to do. We couldn't keep it. This seemed like a good solution. So Jennifer went along with it."**

"**But your girlfriend says Jennifer decided to keep her baby. That must have really pissed your parents off?" Olivia asked.**

"**I don't know. Jen was acting strange lately. Like she was under a lot of stress or something and about to crack. I figured it was just the pressure of being seven months pregnant and a full time student. She had a lot on her plate."**

* * *

**Back in the bullpen they compared findings with Munch and Fin. **

"**David Price's boss says Price took an unscheduled sabbatical, they are not sure where he went or when he'll be back," Fin announced.**

"**What did he say when he left?" Cragen asked.**

"_**He**_**, didn't say. The wife called and said he needed some time," Munch replied.**

"**When was this?" Olivia asked.**

"**Three days ago," Fin answered.**

"**I'm betting if we find the husband he can tell us where Jennifer and that baby are," Olivia said looking at the pictures of suspects on the board in front of her.**

"**Get the wife in here and cut through the bullshit," Cragen barked. "Three days is a long time if she is hurt or sick or goes into labor. We've gotta find this girl!"**


	13. 13 Progress

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Thirteen: Progress)_

Marlena Price paced the floor of the interrogation room as Cragen, Elliot and Olivia watched her through the glass.

"How are we going to approach this?" Cragen asked.

"I'd like to just go in there and smack her around until she tell us where Jennifer and that baby are," Olivia growled.

Elliot snickered. "She's really got you worked up."

"Every word out of her mouth has been a lie, Elliot. Jennifer and her baby could be dead or dying somewhere for all we know and this woman does is pump out lie after lie. We are no closer to the truth than we were before we spoke with her."

"I don't get it. Why would she come in here and report Jennifer missing if she is just going to tell all of these lies to keep us from finding her? If Marlena wanted her gone for some reason, you would think it would be a good thing that no one knew Jennifer was missing."

"Unless people started snooping around." Cragen added. "Maybe someone was onto her, knew she had something to do with Jennifer's disappearance. No better way to throw the cops off your trail than to appear to be helping with the investigation."

"Maybe the husband figured her out. Then she had to make him go away, too. But why would she try to get rid of Jennifer? She wanted that baby. Why not wait until after they have the baby to make Jennifer disappear?" Olivia thought out loud.

"Maybe she changed her mind," Elliot said looking at his partner.

* * *

Olivia sat at the desk in the interrogation room staring at the table with her stomach churning as Elliot lead the interview. Marlena Price paced the floor in front of Olivia and sobbed, so far not saying anything that could help them find Jennifer.

"Cut the bullshit, Marlena!" Olivia inserted into Elliot's conversation. She raised her head to look at the panic in the woman's eyes. "Why would you want to make Jennifer disappear?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. I reported her missing! I don't want anything to happen to Jennifer. I am worried about her and the baby."

"Alright," Elliot said pushing out a chair at the table, "the sit down and talk to us."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Marlena Price sobbed.

"You can start at the beginning," Olivia said tilting her head to stare Marlena down. "And tell us the truth. Because we're gonna find out one way or another, Marlena. And it is really going to help you out a lot if you worked with us."

Marlena stared at Olivia then took a seat in the chair in front of her. "I lied to you about the baby. My husband and I did try. For years, we tried. But that stopped about four years ago. Then my husband decided he didn't want a baby."

"So how did you go from there to adopting Jennifer's baby?" Elliot asked.

"Ray came to us wanting money to pay for the abortion. I begged David to let me adopt the baby. He finally gave in."

"Ray's current girlfriend, Katie tells us that Jennifer decided to keep her baby. You and your husband had a lot of money invested in that kid. Thousands of dollars in doctor's bills, a new apartment so Jennifer didn't have to share a dorm room while she was pregnant, not to mention the cash allowance you gave her each month for allowing you to adopt her child. It must have really pissed you off when she changed her mind."

"We were upset or I was, my husband only agreed to adopt the baby to shut me up."

"So you go and you talk to Jennifer, try to reason with her. She can't care for this kid on her own. She cannot offer that baby as good a home as you can. Single mother still in college," Elliot suggested.

"Yes. But she wouldn't listen."

"What happened?" Olivia asked feeling a bit nauseated.

"We argued and she left, but I didn't hurt her. I swear."

"What about your husband?" Elliot asked as Olivia held her hand against her stomach.

She scooted her chair out and moved quickly out the door. Elliot watched as his partner left the room.

He cleared his throat and looked back at Marlena Price. "Where is your husband right now? We'd like to bring him in and ask him a few questions."

"I don't know."

"You don't know? You told the other detectives he was on a work related trip to Maine." Elliot stared her down. "But you and I both know that is not true. Where is he, Marlena?"

"I don't know. He woke me up in the middle of the night and said he was going away for a few days. He told me to call his work in the morning, so I did. I don't know where he went."

"And you have no way to contact him?"

"No."

* * *

After Elliot finished the interview with Marlena Price, he went in search of his partner. He walked into the bullpen, but Olivia was not at her desk.

"Fin, you seen Liv?"

"She shot through here like somebody set her on fire. Headed for the ladies room. That was about ten minutes ago."

"I sent her to the cribs to lie down," Cragen announced. "She stumbled out of the ladies room, looking like Hell. It was obvious she was sick. I tried to get her to take the rest of the day off and go home, but she refused. I told her to go lie down for a bit."

Elliot tapped softly on the door to the cribs. He pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside.

"I brought you some tea."

Olivia groaned a little and raised up on the bunk making room for Elliot to sit beside her.

"You okay, Liv?"

"Yeah. I didn't eat anything this morning and my head is killing me. I'm just a bit nauseous, it will pass."

"This case is really getting to you."

"No more than usual. I just worry about Jennifer and that baby, if we don't find them soon…"

"I know. Why don't you go on home and get some rest? When I get home I will fix us a nice dinner and we can unwind together. Relax a little bit and start over tomorrow."

"I don't know, Elliot."

"Liv, you need a break. This is your first case back. And it isn't easy."

"It never is."

"No, I'm just thinking maybe you jumped in a little too deep, too fast. Take a little break. I will let you know if we find anything."

"Okay," Olivia exhaled rubbing her fingertips against her temple.

Elliot walked her down to the sidewalk in front of the precinct and flagged her a cab. He kissed her gently and closed the car door after she climbed inside.

It was around five thirty that evening when Elliot opened the door to her apartment. The lights were out and the only sounds came from the back of the apartment. He tossed his keys on the table beside the door and made his way down the hall.

"Olivia?"

Half way to the bedroom he noticed the bathroom light was on and the door was opened just a bit.

"Liv?"

Elliot pushed the door open, but the room was empty. On the sink sat a white plastic stick. Elliot reached down and picked up the tester in his hand. He held his breath and stared at the results printed clearly in the little window.

"It's negative," Olivia said from behind him. "Must just be a touch of the flu."

Elliot took a deep breath and turned around to look at the tears in her eyes. He tossed the test strip into the trash can and wrapped her in his arms.

"It will happen," he mumbled against the side of her neck as he kissed her gently.

"It's been four months," she said shaking her head.

"It's only been four months. Some people try for years."

"Elliot, when you were with Kathy you didn't have any trouble at all getting her pregnant. You and I have been having sex so often I am surprised either of us even want it anymore. And nothing. I was late. Only a few days, but then the nausea. I was so sure."

"Come here," he said picking her up and carrying her to the bed. Elliot laid her down and climbed into the bed beside her, then pulled the blankets up around them. "We'll just have to keep trying," he whispered.

"What if something's wrong with me?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if there is a problem, obviously it is not with you. You have five children. We know you're fertile."

"Honey, just because you don't get pregnant in the first four months doesn't me that you never will."

"I know. But let's face it, I am not as young as I used to be. Maybe…."

"Maybe, we should just keep trying. If we give up now, it will never happen. If you are worried sweetheart you could see a doctor."

"Do you think I should?"

"I think if you are worried then it is worth checking into."

"Okay, then I will make an appointment."

Elliot kissed her tenderly. "I love you, baby."

"I love you, too."

"Why don't you rest here? I'm gonna got fix us some dinner. Pour a couple of glasses of wine and light a few candles. We can go to bed a little early and just relax. I can hold you in my arms until we both fall asleep."

Olivia smiled. "You are so amazing."

"You are pretty amazing yourself," he said kissing her. "Now get some rest. I'll wake you for dinner."

Olivia smiled as Elliot kissed her forehead and turned off the bedside lamp.


	14. 14 Jane Doe

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Fourteen: Jane Doe)_

Elliot woke up alone in the bed the next morning. He sat up and stretched looking up to see her enter the room and sit on the side of the bed. Elliot watched as she tied her shoe.

"Everything alright?"

"Fine, why do you ask?"

"No reason. It is just after five and you are all dressed and ready to go running."

"I run every morning."

"Yeah, at six. Shower at six thirty, then a quick cup of coffee and we're out the door."

Olivia looked up to stare at him. "I'm fine, Elliot." She stood to walk out of the room.

"Hey," he said pulling her back to the bed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Olivia exhaled and tipped her head to look at him. "I got my period this morning. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?"

Elliot shook his head as she put her ear buds in and headed out the door. He had to find a way to help her achieve her dream of becoming a mother.

* * *

Olivia's cell phone rang just as she stepped out of the shower.

"Benson," she said holding the phone against her shoulder as she wrapped herself in a fluffy blue bath towel. "Yeah, umm give me fifteen minutes. I'll get a hold of Elliot. Captain, I'm fine. Just a touch of the flu, but I am fine now. I am standing in my hallway in a towel, but I'm fine. I'll see you in a few minutes."

She hung up her cell phone and moved down the hallway to the bedroom. "Get up!" She called to Elliot, still sleeping in her bed, as she tossed his clothes on the bed. "Cragen wants us both in the bullpen in fifteen minutes. He thinks they may have found something that could help us with our case."

Elliot sat up and watched as she began to dig through her lingerie drawer grabbing a bra and a pair of panties and headed into the closet. A few minutes later she walked back through the bedroom dressed in a pair of black slacks, a blue blouse with a black jacket and a very expensive looking name brand pair of black heels.

"Elliot seriously! We should be leaving," she looked down at her watch, "ten minutes ago. Cragen is going to kill us! Move your ass, Stabler!" She rushed down the hall toward the bathroom and pulled out her hair dryer from the closet.

Ten minutes later they were in the car and half way to the precinct.

"Olivia," Cragen said as she sat her things down on her desk. "You're fifteen minutes was up fifteen minutes ago."

"I know Captain, I am sorry. I had a little trouble reaching Elliot."

"Why would she have trouble reaching you? Why did I have trouble reaching you?"

"He left his cell in my car yesterday after I drove him home," she said before Elliot could answer.

Elliot looked at Olivia. "Yeah," he said. "I looked everywhere for it. It must have fallen off my belt."

"Whatever," Cragen said handing Olivia a piece of paper.

"What is this?" Olivia asked.

"A copy of a credit card receipt for gasoline charged onto David Price's card the morning that Jennifer disappeared. Get down there, talk to management and find out if David was alone when he made this purchase."

Just then Munch hung up the phone and approached them. "We got a pregnant Jane Doe found in Riverside Park, they took her to Mercy. Captain, you want Fin and I to check it out?"

"No, Liv and Elliot get to Mercy and check on Jennifer. John, you and Fin are heading to Lancaster, New Jersey." Cragen pulled the copy of the credit card receipt from Olivia's hand and gave it to Munch. "Let's go people! See if we can identify Jane Doe as Jennifer Parks and see what we can do to help her and her baby. I still want to know where David Price has been for the last five days!"

* * *

Elliot flashed his ID and introduced he and Olivia to the woman behind the desk. The woman walked a few feet down the hall and spoke to another woman, then they both returned.

"I'm Dr. Saundra Ross," she said extending her hand to shake Olivia's first and then Elliot's. "You're here about Jane Doe?"

"Yes, we are hoping she is the woman we have been searching for. How is she doing?"

"Unconscious, we're working to get her stable." They followed the woman down a long corridor to the last room on the left.

"What happened to her?" Elliot asked.

Dr. Ross turned and looked at them as she leaned against the door to the woman's room. "She was stabbed."

"Stabbed?" Olivia asked.

"In the abdomen."

"The baby?" Olivia asked.

"The blade missed the fetus, miraculously. Did some soft tissue damage, but she lost a lot of blood. I had to transfuse her as soon as they brought her in. We also had to stop labor once already. The stress of the attack induced her labor."

"Is she going to wake up?" Elliot asked.

"It is hard to tell. She also has a head wound. I am guessing she was hit with a rock or something similar, near the temple. I am not sure yet how much damage was caused. I really need to run a CT Scan, but if I move her before we get her stabilized we run a big risk of losing the baby."

"How did you stop her labor?" Olivia asked.

"I have her on medication to prevent contractions. But that will only hold her for a few days. I am going to have to go in and stitch the cervix to prevent this baby from coming out. But again, I cannot perform the procedure until she is stabilized. Right now, we just have to wait it out."

"Is there any way we can see her? We need to try and identify this girl."

"I can let you in long enough to take a few prints, five minutes, tops. I am sorry, but that is all I can give you right now."

"That will work," Elliot said as they walked into the room to get fingerprints from their Jane Doe. "Judging by that belly I'd say she is about six months along," Elliot pointed out.

"Physical characteristics match Jennifer Parks," Olivia added.

"We'll get these prints back to the lab and know for sure within the hour. She looks like Jennifer, Liv, but it still may not be her."

"I know," she said softly wiping the ink from the woman's fingertips, "we have to find out who she is, El. We have to help her," Olivia said staring at the monitor displaying the fetal heartbeat.

"We will do everything that we can," he said. "You get what you needed?"

"Yeah," she said softly holding back tears.

* * *

Olivia stood behind Elliot as they waited for the print results.

"Oh my God," Olivia said softly.

"What?" Munch asked approaching them from across the room.

"We found Jennifer Parks," Elliot replied.

Olivia stared at the screen. The two prints were a perfect match.

"You guys have any luck running down that credit card receipt? I want to find David Price, so we can nail him for what he did to Jennifer."

"No such luck, my friend. We pulled the surveillance video and the gas purchase was made by a woman."

"Marlena Price. She had access to the credit cards. She mad the phone call to the university to tell them that her husband wasn't going to be at work for a while. What if she was behind the whole thing?"

"We have to get her back in here and find out where the Hell her husband is," Munch said.

"I get the feeling if Marlena had anything to do with Jennifer's disappearance, her husband will turn up soon enough," Olivia replied staring at Jennifer's picture.


	15. 15 Answers

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Fifteen: Answers)_

Olivia closed her eyes and listened to the little whomp, whomp, whomp sound of the baby's heartbeat as it echoed through her mind. She exhaled and rolled onto her other side, having now successfully stripped the bed of blankets and piled them into a ball at the bottom between their feet.

Elliot slept soundly beside her, unaware of her distress. She sat up in the bed and watched him for a moment, resting peacefully. Nearly jealous of his ability to shut out the events of the day and drift off into dreamland, she climbed from the bed and headed for the kitchen.

She pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walked over to the window in the dark. It was almost four o'clock in the morning in the city that never sleeps and anyone in their right mind was in bed already. But tonight, there was no escape for her.

* * *

Elliot woke alone in her bed around six thirty. Usually he was awake by now and Olivia was nowhere in sight. He climbed from the bed in his boxer shorts and called her name down the hallway, but she didn't answer.

He walked into the kitchen to find the coffee already made and a note under an empty cup.

_**Elliot-**_

_**Couldn't sleep. **_

_**Went to Mercy to check on Jennifer. **_

_**I'll meet you at work later. **_

_**I love you,**_

_**Liv**_

Elliot stared down at her words on the page in front of him feeling so stupid for not realizing how much this case was getting to her. She wanted a baby so badly she could taste it and here sat a pregnant woman, who may not even live to have hers. Olivia felt compelled to help Jennifer and the baby, he understood that. This was their job. Factor in Olivia's bleeding heart and the sympathy for the young woman with the tiny infant growing inside her and this was more than just a Special Victim's case. This was a reminder of what may never be. No wonder she seemed so effected by this case.

Elliot opened his phone and dialed Olivia's number.

"Good morning," he said softly as she answered.

"Good morning," she replied and he could hear the tears she had been crying.

"Any change?"

"There was a while ago. The nurse came in to redress her wounds and said she was trying to speak."

"That's good."

"But the brain activity caused her to have a really bad seizure and they think it may have caused more brain damage."

"That poor girl."

"It doesn't look good, Elliot. And if we lose her now, her baby will probably die as well. The doctor took her in to go ahead and perform the Cervical Cerclage, stitching the cervix in hopes of holding the baby in just a little longer."

"I thought they had to wait until she was stable?"

"By then it could already be too late."

Things were quiet for a few moments as he listened to her breathing.

"It's a boy," Olivia breathed into the phone. "Jennifer's baby. It is a little boy."

"Olivia, honey. They are going to do everything they can do, but he still may not make it. You have to understand that."

"I do, Elliot. I just don't want to give up hope, you know. Right now, hope is all we have."

"I'm gonna get dressed and head on in to work. I'll see you there?"

"I think I am going to wait around here a little longer. See if there are any changes after the procedure. I'll be in a little later."

"Alright, baby. I love you."

"I love you too, Elliot."

Elliot listened until she hung up the phone, then headed back to the bedroom to get ready for work.

Before leaving the apartment, Elliot flipped through the case file once more. There had to be something there that they were overlooking. If Marlena Price begged her husband to adopt this child, why would either of them want to harm him?

He skimmed over the notes Olivia had taken during their interview with Marlena. Until his eyes landed on the name of the Obstetrician who had been treating Jennifer during her pregnancy.

"There is someone we haven't talked to," he mumbled to himself shutting the file and heading for the car.

* * *

Elliot sat in the waiting room pretending to read some child care magazine as he waited to see Jennifer's doctor. Their office was extremely busy today and the only way Elliot could get in to speak with him was to make an appointment.

He looked around the room at all of the women, most of them were very visibly pregnant. He watched as they tried to avoid making eye contact with him, knowing they all wondered why he was here with out a pregnant wife or girlfriend to support. _**I wish that was why I was here, **_Elliot thought to himself as the nurse called his name through the waiting area.

"Mr. Stabler, are you here with a wife or girlfriend? A daughter? Sister, maybe?" The woman looked confused.

"No," he said flashing his badge. "I just need to ask the doctor a few questions and this was the only way I could get in to talk to him. I am not here for a pelvic examine," he joked but the woman didn't laugh.

"Third door on the right," she said pointing down the hall. "He will be in as soon as he can. I'll let him know you are waiting."

Elliot walked into the little pink examine room and took a seat. He looked at the diagrams on the wall showing fetal development during different stages of pregnancy. Straight ahead of him on the wall was a dilation chart that showed how the cervix opened to allow for delivery of the baby. Elliot fidgeted a bit in his chair, remembering all of the times he had been in rooms just like this one with Kathy. These places always made him uncomfortable with the cold in the room and the smells. He stared at the stirrups on the examine table. He had seen before how these contraptions worked and it really creeped him out. This room looked more like some kind of torture chamber, not a health care facility.

"Elliot Stabler?" The doctor asked stepping into the room and looking at him over the rim of his glasses.

"Yes."

"Dare I ask, Mr. Stabler, what it is that you are here for?"

Elliot pulled out his badge. "I need to ask you a few questions about a patient of yours. This was the only way I could get in to see you."

The doctor smiled, amused at Elliot's determination. "Let's move this to my office, shall we? A bit more of a professional environment. Not so…"

"Pink," Elliot said as the doctor searched for the right word.

In the office Elliot took a seat across from the man's desk.

"How can I help you, detective?"

"I need to ask you a few questions about a patient of yours, Jennifer Parks."

"You know that with out a warrant I cannot disclose any patient information."

"Well, these are extremely special circumstances. Jennifer has been attacked."

"Attacked? Is she alright?"

"No, she isn't. She is in critical condition. There is a good chance we could lose her and the baby. That is why it is so important that you help me understand what was going on with her."

"The obvious. She was just over six months pregnant."

"Any complications?"

"I can't give you that information."

"Doctor, please. I could get a warrant. But by then it could be too late for Jennifer and her baby. Or you could answer a few simple questions for me now and rest a little easier night knowing that you have done what you could to help that poor girl."

"Detective Stabler…"

"Just tell me if there were any abnormalities in the pregnancy. Or anything strange that could have made her change her mind about giving the baby up."

The man thought for a minute then turned and flipped through a file cabinet behind Elliot. He pulled out a file with Jennifer's name on it and flipped through it.

"There was something."

"Something is wrong with the baby?" Elliot asked.

"No, she had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. The baby was developing well and had a good weight."

"Then what was wrong?"

"Nothing really. But something just caught me odd. The last time Jennifer came in here Marlena Price was with her."

"Is that a normal thing for her?"

"Yes. David and Marlena were adopting the baby. They have been covering the medical bills for Jennifer's pregnancy. But this time Marlena had an odd request."

"What was that?"

"Amniocentesis, to determine the paternity of the baby."

"Paternity? I wouldn't think someone who was adopting a baby would care who the father was."

"Marlena gave me a DNA sample, some hair, she said it belonged to her son and she wanted it tested to verify that he was the child's father. She paid for the testing out of pocket and asked me to tell Jennifer it was routine. Marlena didn't want her knowing about the paternity test."

"Did she tell you why she wanted the test performed?"

"She arrived before Jennifer did and she explained to me that Jennifer had been thinking about keeping the baby. I guess her stepson stands to inherit a trust from his biological mother. I guess she didn't want Jennifer going after Ray's money if the baby wasn't his."

"And the results?"

"The DNA from the sample Marlena provided matched half of the baby's DNA. Ray was the father."

"Did she seem happy about this?"

"Well, I called her and gave her the results. She sounded a bit relieved. She thanked me and said she was glad to finally know for sure. That was two weeks ago. Jennifer had never missed an appointment until this last one. I figured something must have been wrong."

"Thank you doctor," Elliot said as he stood to leave.


	16. 16 Asking For A Miracle

_**Illusive Perception**_

_**(Chapter Sixteen: Asking For A Miracle)**_

**Elliot walked into the precinct around nine thirty.**

"**Where you been?" Munch asked.**

"**At my appointment with the obstetrician," Elliot remarked as he tossed some papers down on his desk.**

"**What did you grow ovaries over night?" Munch joked.**

"**No, I had a few questions for Jennifer's doctor. They were giving me the runaround about talking to him, said he was way too busy with appointments. So I made an appointment."**

**Munch leaned back in his chair and laughed.**

"**Laugh all you want, it worked."**

"**It did?"**

"**Like a charm. Did you get her?" Elliot asked looking at Fin.**

"**Yeah. Marlena Price is being picked up by uniforms and brought in for questioning in the disappearance of her husband. I got something else that may interest you."**

"**What might that be?"**

"**Copy of the deed to a warehouse in Lancaster, New Jersey. The property is in the name of one David Price."**

"**Okay, okay, okay," Elliot said pacing the floor in front of his desk. "Bear with me for a minute. Jennifer is pregnant with son, Ray's baby. Marlena begs David to let them adopt the child and Jennifer agrees. But Jennifer's obstetrician says she pushed for a paternity test. Now I asked myself. Why would a woman who could not have a child of her own care who the father of her adopted child was?"**

"**You got me," Fin said.**

"**It stumped me too for a while."**

"**So why did she do it?" Munch asked.**

"**The good doctor says it was to prove the baby was Ray's. She provided a hair sample and they compared the baby's DNA from the amniotic fluid to prove Ray was the baby's father, because of some trust Ray got from his mother."**

"**I don't know why she would care. But the rest of it makes sense," Fin said folding his arms in front of him.**

"**What if Marlena was actually trying to prove it **_**wasn't**_** Ray's baby?" **

"**But the doctor said it was."**

"**No. The doctor said that the man she got the hair sample from was the baby's father. What if that sample didn't belong to Ray?"**

**Fin looked intrigued, but confused.**

"**That sample came from David Price."**

"**The doc confirms Marlena's husband is the baby's father. She drags Jennifer out to the warehouse for a little chat. Maybe to confront the husband," Fin suggested.**

"**Things go bad fast. They argue. Maybe hubby walks out and she takes it out on Jennifer. Marlena assumes she is six months pregnant and stabbed, she's gonna bleed out. Wraps her in something and dumps her in the park."**

"**Or maybe she killed the husband, too." Fin added.**

"**But if Jennifer was stabbed five days ago, with the rate of blood loss there is no way we would have found her alive," Munch argued. "Now if Marlena held her somewhere for a few days first…."**

"**We need to get to that warehouse," Fin said.**

**Elliot stood up and looked down at his phone, Olivia sent him a text.**

"**You guys go ahead. I will have them sit on Marlena Price until we have something. I'm gonna go meet Liv at Mercy and see what is going on with Jennifer."**

* * *

**When Elliot arrived at the hospital Olivia was standing outside Jennifer's room leaned against the wall. He could see the tears in her eyes.**

"**Liv? What's going on?"**

"**She crashed."**

"**What?"**

"**She seized again. A bad one. Then she crashed. They have revived her now, but she is barely breathing."**

"**So what exactly do you want me to do about it?" **

**Elliot turned around to see Casey standing behind him.**

"**What are you doing here?" He asked.**

"**I was about to ask Detective Benson the same question."**

**Olivia pressed her lips together and raised her eyes. "I need your help on this Casey. She needs your help."**

"**Help with what exactly?"**

**Olivia opened the door and lead Casey by the hand in to see Jennifer laying in the bed. "They were able to revive her this time. But her breathing is weak and they had to put her on oxygen. The doctor said her body is shutting down. They don't expect her to live more than a few days."**

"**It is sad. And I feel for her, Olivia, I really do. But I don't understand what exactly it is you think I can do to save her."**

"**Not her. Him." Olivia pointed to the monitor that showed the last sonogram image of Jennifer's unborn son frozen on the screen. "He is at twenty seven weeks gestation. He only weighs about two pounds and is about fourteen and a half inches long. If we can keep him in there for a few more weeks, we double his chance of survival."**

"**Makes sense," Casey agreed. "But I am still not sure what this has to do with me."**

"**She is going to reach a point very soon, Casey, where she can no longer breathe on her own. If we put her on life support, we can keep her alive long enough to save that baby."**

**Casey laughed sarcastically. "You cannot be serious! Shouldn't you be talking to the family?"**

"**She has no family. Parents are dead and she was an only child. Casey," she said grabbing her by the arm and turning her to stare at the monitor, "the only way this child is going to live is if you can get a judge to grant us permission to keep her alive for a couple of more weeks."**

"**You are serious? That would take a small miracle."**

**Casey stared at the monitor for a moment as the image changed and the baby began to move. He kicked and stretched and moved his little arms around. Casey took a deep breath as tears streamed down both of her cheeks. She turned around to look at Olivia who moved the wand over the place she had seen the doctor move it before.**

"**Please Casey," she whispered through tears, "we're his only chance."**

"**You stay here and call me the moment anything changes," Casey said turning to walk out the door of the hospital room. **

"**Where are you going?" Elliot asked.**

"**To see if I can work a small miracle."**

**Olivia smiled and took a deep breath as Elliot closed his arms around her and kissed her forehead. **


	17. 17 Whatever It Takes

_**Kelly this one is for you! ; )**_

_**(It took me forever, but I finally got this chapter finished!)**_

_Illusive Persuasion_

_(Chapter Seventeen: Whatever It Takes)_

_**THREE WEEKS LATER**_

Olivia sat in a chair in the corner of Jennifer's darkened hospital room. In the three weeks since she had been brought here, Elliot, Olivia and Casey had been her only visitors.

Of course Jennifer had no family. And two weeks earlier after recovering David's body, Marlena was arrested and charged for his murder. So that just left Ray Price who had just learned that he was not the father of the child and Jennifer's former roommate, Katie, who was now living out her happily ever after with Ray and his inheritance. There was no one.

Olivia stared at the fetal heart monitor and watched the lines on the screen as they formed a pattern of peaks and valleys. She thought back to her own appointment a week and a half earlier when her doctor told her that due to some strange condition with her ovaries, the chances of her becoming pregnant were slim. As a result of what her doctor referred to as a distressed ovary, only one of her ovaries actually released mature eggs. This greatly reduced the chances of conception. That combined with her age, it was more than likely not going to happen.

As she sat quietly wiping a single tear from her cheek, Olivia's cell phone rang.

"Benson," she said softly without blinking.

"I woke up and you were gone," Elliot said on the other end of the phone.

"I couldn't sleep."

"I figured. And I knew where you were. I just thought I would call and see how things were going."

"No change. The doctor said the baby weighs just over three pounds now."

"He is a strong little guy."

"Yeah, he is." She listened as Elliot yawned. "It is three in the morning, Elliot. If you are tired you should go back to sleep."

"I will. What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna sit around here a little longer. I'll probably be home in an hour or so. I just wanted to check on him."

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Her voice sounded so exhausted, but she wasn't able to sleep anymore. Hardly ever. Not since that doctor had pretty much told her she would never be a mother. And it killed Elliot that there was nothing he could do to help her. She didn't talk to him about it. But he knew her well enough to know that _it_ was what was bothering her and that somehow spending all this time in Jennifer's room was bringing comfort to her.

* * *

It was around eight thirty when the doctors and nurses came in to check on Jennifer. Olivia watched invisibly from her chair in the corner as they checked all of her machines and recorded her morning statistics. A nurse pressed a button to print something off of her heart monitor, she looked at it as she shook her head then walked out of the room.

Half an hour later Olivia looked up to see Casey enter the room.

"What's up Casey?"

"Nursing staff called me. It's time, Liv."

"What? No. She is barely thirty weeks! That baby is too small!"

"Her body is shutting down, Olivia! Even on the life support. The machines they are using to keep her alive are damaging her organs. We need them for transplant. If she is on the life support any longer we wont be able to use the organs."

"Transplant? What about that little boy in there. Every day he is inside his mother's womb betters his chance of surviving once he is born. Casey, he is not ready yet."

"Olivia, I have already gone up against the state of New York over this! And I happened to find a sympathetic judge! The agreement was that we could keep her on the life support as long as we were able to harvest the organs to save more lives. Unfortunately, legal wise, this is not only about the life of that little boy. It is not right, Olivia and I know that. But those were the terms I agreed to be able to keep him in there this long. Within the next two days, her body is going to shut down. Not even the machines can help her anymore. We have to move now. The doctor is performing the cesarean in an hour and the transplant teams will be ready to harvest. You should be proud of yourself, Olivia. Without you that baby would have died three weeks ago and six people on transplant lists would not be getting their organs. You saved those lives, Olivia."

* * *

Olivia paced the floor in the waiting room wearing a path in the carpet.

"You should sit down and try to relax. They will come and get us when we can see him," Elliot said patting the chair beside him.

"I can't help it. That baby is nowhere near ready, Elliot."

"I know, Liv. But ready or not it is time for him to be born. I have been reading up on this and it says online that a large number of babies born at thirty weeks turn out just fine"

"Yeah, did you happen to read the part about only nine out of ten babies born at thirty weeks survives?"

"Nine out of ten, Olivia. Those are good numbers."

"I guess so. Unless you are number ten."

"Liv, these doctors are ready for this baby. They have been preparing for his arrival for the last three weeks. Jennifer has had steroid shots to help boost the baby's development. They knew that this little boy was going to be born early. There is a team of doctors in there who are going to take really good care of him."

"No, there is a team of doctors in there that cannot wait for that baby to come out so they can take Jennifer's organs. They are hovering over her like vultures just waiting so they can pick the corpse clean."

"And each one of those doctors has a patient waiting somewhere. A patient that will live because Jennifer was an organ donor when she died."

"And that is the only one thing that kept that little boy alive this long. If she hadn't been a donor, that judge wouldn't have allowed us to keep her on life support. I guess saving one life wasn't enough for them."

Just then a doctor stepped into the room. "He's beautiful. Tiny, three pounds two ounces, but he seems to be doing just fine. He has a full head of dark hair and he looks like his mother. One of the specialists is checking him out now. Then they will get him settled into the preemie nursery. He will be in an incubator for a while. He is too small to hold his body temperature and we will have to watch his heart and lung function closely. He isn't out of the woods yet, but he is incredibly strong willed. You can go in and see him in about twenty minutes."

"And Jennifer?" Olivia asked looking up at the doctor.

"She passed away five minutes after the baby was delivered. They were doing the harvest and her heart stopped. They were able to harvest both lungs, her liver and both kidneys. But the heart was too badly damaged to donate."

"Thank you doctor," she said softly fighting off tears.

Olivia took a deep breath and walked over to look out the window. It was a cloudy day, but the suns golden rays shined down through a break in the clouds. Somehow that little bit of light reminded Olivia that even through this dark situation, that tiny little boy was a ray of light.

"Liv," Elliot said softly.

"Yeah?" She replied turning to look at him.

"The nurse said we could go back and see the baby now."

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded. She and Elliot followed a nurse down a long hallway and through a large set of doors. At the end of a second hall was a small nursery with about five little incubators in it.

"You will have to wear a mask and a gown. These tiny little babies have practically no immune system," the nurse said showing them where to gown up.

They followed her to the back of the room to a little bed. Inside was the smallest baby either of them had ever seen.

"He is so tiny," Elliot said tapping his fingertip gently on the plastic. "Hey little guy, welcome to the world."

"He's beautiful," Olivia said trying not to cry as she knelt beside the little bed to get a closer look.

"You can touch him if you'd like," the woman said pointing to a small round hole in the side of the little bed. "You scrubbed up. The sooner he gets used to human contact, the better."

"What is going to happen to him?" Olivia asked as the baby wrapped his tiny little hand around her finger. The palm of his hand was about the same size as the tip of her finger.

"As soon as he is big enough and cleared for discharge a DCFS worker will come and pick him up. He will go into a foster home until he can be adopted."

"I thought there was a long waiting list for newborns," she asked as she looked up at the woman.

"There is. For _healthy_ newborns. But he is a preemie."

"The doctor said he was doing well."

"He is. But because he was born premature, he will be considered a special needs child until he has caught up in development with other children his age. Most couples don't want to adopt a special needs baby."

"But there may not be anything wrong with him."

"There may not be. Or he may have complications that do not develop until later down the road."

"That is true with any baby."

"Ma'am, I don't make the regulations. I just have seen this enough to know how DCFS works."

"So he is liable to be bounced from foster home to foster home?" Elliot asked.

"It is possible. Or he may be placed somewhere and he might not have to wait long before someone comes along willing to adopt a special needs child."

"Someone who is willing to settle?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

The woman exhaled obviously becoming a bit annoyed with Olivia. "I will give you guys some time alone with him. If you need anything, I will be right over here."

"Thank you," Elliot said softly.

"I cannot believe he was born less than an hour ago and already the entire world is turning their backs on him."

Elliot rubbed his hand over her back and squeezed her shoulder.

"Some people just don't understand. Some people just don't have the heart that you do."

"He deserves so much more, Elliot. He deserves a family who will love him no matter what. Not to be placed with someone who only takes him because they cannot have a _healthy_ child. This is so unfair."

"But honey, I am afraid there is not much else we can do. He is alive. That in itself is a miracle."

"Yes, it is."

* * *

Over the next three weeks Olivia spent every moment she wasn't working or sleeping sitting beside the baby's bed. She was now on a first name basis with all of the nurses and went every day after work to hold the baby boy and feed him a bottle. She would sit in the rocking chair and rock him gently as he nursed from the bottle and she would hum and sing little lullabies to him.

Over the three weeks the little boy had grown quite a bit. His dark hair had thinned out a bit and his bluish green eyes were starting to focus on objects around him. He now weighed just under four pounds and had a very health appetite. So far the tests the doctors performed all showed good heart and lung function and his hearing and vision appeared to be good so far as well.

Olivia smiled down at the baby in her arms as he grunted and sucked on the bottle. "Hey there little man," she whispered softly as she rocked him.

"Hey," Elliot said as he stepped into the room behind her and kissed the top of her head. "How is he doing?"

"Really good. We're having a good day. And he was a very hungry little boy."

"He is so cute. Is it possible that he could be cuter today than he was yesterday?"

"Anything is possible, Elliot." She smiled up at him.

"The doctor in the hall said he will be discharged soon."

"I thought he had to weigh five pounds first?"

"I just spoke to him and he said that as long as the baby is gaining weight good and all of his tests keep having positive results, they have no reason to hold him."

"I don't know if letting him go early is such a good idea."

"Liv, they are doctors. They would not release him if they didn't think he was healthy enough to be discharged. And the need the NICU space for other babies who aren't as healthy as him."

"I guess you're right. I'm really going to miss him."

"You have really gotten attached to this little guy, haven't you?"

"I guess so. It is hard not to love him. He is so tiny and innocent."

"The truth is I think we have both gotten attached. It makes sense, I guess. We have been in this room with him every day since he was born."

"It still kills me that they are treating him like he is broken. The poor kid is being labeled from the moment he was born."

"You heard that woman. People only want healthy babies."

"He is healthy." Olivia pulled the baby to her chest and hugged him as a tear slid down her cheek. She laid him back in her lap and stared into his little eyes. Giving him up was going to break her heart. "I would take you home with me if I could, little guy."

Elliot watched her as she tried not to cry over the baby. He she wanted more than anything to be a mother. She needed a baby and here sat this beautiful little boy who needed a mother.

"Olivia, what if you adopted him?"

She raised her eyes to look at him. "I already thought of that," she said softly. "I spoke to the lady from the adoption agency when she came to pick up his file. She said I wouldn't qualify to adopt."

"Why the hell not? You would be an amazing mother!"

"Because I don't meet their criteria. I am single and work all hours of the day."

Elliot leaned in to look down at the baby in her arms. "But if you did qualify, if you met their criteria, would you want him?"

She smiled down at the baby as he yawned and closed his little eyes. "Of course, I would."

"Olivia, do you want him?"

She looked up at Elliot as her tears poured down both sides of her face. "More than anything."

"And you would do whatever it took to keep him?"

"Yes."

"So would I."

"Elliot, what are you talking about?"

Elliot kissed her and stared into her eyes. "Marry me."

"What?"

"They wont let us adopt this baby because we are both single. So, marry me."

"But that isn't the only reason. The hours I work," she shook her head as Elliot kissed her again.

"That can be adjusted. This would be no different than if we had gotten pregnant. We can juggle things together and make it work. For our family. For our son," he said looking at the sleeping baby. "You want him, then make him yours. Do whatever it takes to make it happen. You have been in love with this child since before you even met him. And you have been by his side since he was born. He belongs with you."

"You are right. You are absolutely right. We spend our lives trying to help victims. If he isn't a victim, then nobody is. He is all alone in the world. He has no one. No one, but us."

Elliot kissed her tenderly and stood up to leave the room.

"Where are you going?"

"To call around and see if I can get someone over here to marry us. They are discharging this baby tomorrow afternoon and I am not going to let our son go into foster care."

Olivia smiled through her tears and laughed a little.

"Our son?"

"Yes. I think there was a reason this baby was brought into our lives. And I think that we are supposed to be in his. It was fate." Elliot leaned down and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

Two hours later Elliot returned to the nursery with the hospital chaplain.

"It just so happens the chaplain form downstairs is licensed to perform a marriage ceremony."

"You spent two hours down stairs?"

"No, I also got these." Elliot pulled out a little box with two gold bands. "I want to get you a diamond, too. But I figured under the short notice we could go back later and you can pick out whatever you like."

"Okay," Olivia smiled nervously.

"I also called and made an appointment for us to meet with the adoption agency this afternoon."

"Do you have a witness?" The man asked looking at Elliot.

"One minute," he said raising his finger. He looked around the room as one of the nurses was making her rounds. Elliot stepped over next to her and spoke to her for a moment, then she followed him back to Olivia's side.

"Is everyone ready?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia as she smiled at him.

"We're ready," she said softly unable to pull her eyes from his.

The chaplain performed a short ceremony and twelve minutes later they were man and wife. He signed a form that they printed off the computer until they could file for an actual marriage license.

They kissed the baby boy and placed him back into his bed then left to go speak to the woman at the adoption agency. After signing some forms and filling out the paperwork they stood to go.

"We are not quite finished just yet. What is the baby's name?" The woman asked looking up at them.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. Neither of them had thought about the fact that the child still did not have a name.

"Actually ma'am, we have not really picked one out yet."

"Well, to complete the final paperwork tomorrow we will have to have a name to put on the adoption certificate. All I can really give you is twenty four hours to come up with one."

"Alright," Olivia said nodding her head. She had dreamed of being a mother her entire life. Surely between she and Elliot they could easily name this baby.

They headed across town to pick up a few necessities they needed to bring the baby boy home. Diapers and formula, bottles and some baby clothes. A stroller and a bassinette for now since he was much too small for a crib. They got a set of baby monitors for nap time, swing, stroller, car seat and a few toys. As they walked toward the front of the store to check out Olivia also grabbed a parenting book and a book of baby names.

That night after they got everything ready to bring their son home the next day, Elliot and Olivia sat in bed reading the baby name book as they each made a list. His a list of names and hers a list of items they still needed to buy for the baby.

"Okay, so we have read this twice from cover to cover and we have narrowed the list down to twenty six names," Elliot said tossing the book off the bed to focus on the names on the list. "What do you think?"

"I didn't think it would be this hard."

"It is complicated. I have an idea. You pick your favorite five and I will pick five. Then we will knock it down to ten."

"Okay," she said taking the pen from her hand and circling her favorite five names from the list.

Elliot tore out the page and rewrote their list of ten names. "Now pick two from you list to give up and I will pick two."

This task was a little harder and took a little longer, but after about ten minutes they had narrowed their list down to six boy names.

"We need a first and middle name that goes good with Stabler," she said reviewing the names on the list. "Duncan? Where did you come up with Duncan?"

"It was in the book. It is Scottish and means warrior. And it was my grandfather's name."

Olivia smiled. "Well, he is quite the little warrior. Okay, so what from my list goes with Duncan?"

"Liv, I am not sure any of those go with Duncan."

"Preston."

"Duncan Preston Stabler?" Elliot asked making a face.

"Maybe not," she said with a smile. "But I love Preston. That is my favorite from my list." She stared down at the paper for a minute and scribbled down Duncan Preston Stabler. She studied the name a little longer then wrote it again. This time reversing the first and middle names.

"Preston Duncan Stabler. I like that a lot better," Elliot replied looking over at her.

"Preston Stabler. Look up Preston, I want to see what it means."

Elliot picked the book up from the floor and flipped through the pages until he found the name. "It is Old English and means Priest settlement."

"That isn't bad. I really like the name though. Do you like it?"

"Yeah, I do." Elliot kissed her softly.

"Okay. Preston Duncan Stabler it is," she announced with a smile. "I can't believe we have a baby."

"We finally have a baby. We have a son."

"And he is beautiful."

"Next order of business," Elliot said picking up his notebook.

"What is next?"

"Consummating the marriage," he said with a large grin as he tossed the notebook off the bed and turned out the lamp. He wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her passionately as they fall back against the bed to make love for the first time as husband and wife.


	18. 18 Be Careful What You Wish For

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Eighteen: Be Careful What You Wish For)_

_**FIVE WEEKS LATER**_

Olivia groaned and nudged Elliot with her elbow as she heard the baby cry again. Preston still had not completely adapted to sleeping at night and would wake them every few hours wanting to be held and comforted and reminded that he was not alone.

"El," she mumbled rolling over to bury her forehead against his side. "El, the baby's crying."

Elliot made a groaning sound, but didn't get up.

"Elliot, Preston is crying," she said raising her head to look up at him.

"So get him babe," Elliot moaned rolling over to face the wall.

"I got him the last three times. It is your turn."

"Okay, okay, I'm up." He sat up in the bed and stretched looking at the bassinette across the room where the cries of their two month old son came from. "It's alright buddy," Elliot said picking the baby up in his arms, "daddy's here. You don't have to be scared."

Preston grunted and stared up at Elliot with tiny little tears in his eyes.

"It's an emergency, huh? Are you hungry little guy?"

The baby squirmed a bit and began to cry again. Elliot wrapped the little blue blanket tighter around him and held his son close to him as he patted the baby's back and walked toward the bedroom door. He glanced over at Olivia who had cocooned herself in the blankets and rolled over onto his side of the bed stealing his pillow.

Elliot laughed. "Well, mommy's asleep again. Looks like it is just you and me little man." He placed a pacifier into Preston's little mouth and carried him down the hall.

Elliot had learned the hard way not to feed the baby and then change him. Preston usually fell back to sleep after his bottle and if you waited until then to change him, you had a sleepy, grumpy, half asleep and all the way annoyed infant on your hands who refused to go back to sleep, but cried because he was tired. Preston wasn't the only one who was still adjusting to this new life.

He slipped into the nursery and laid the little boy onto the changing table. He picked up one of the tiny little doll like preemie diapers and changed the baby. Elliot swaddled the baby tight in his blanket once more as he moved to the kitchen to make him a bottle.

Another lesson Elliot had learned this time around was not to turn on the kitchen light when he got up to make a bottle. Instead he turned on the television in the living room and maneuvered around by the soft glow it cast into the kitchen. Turning the light on at any point in time meant forfeiting any chance of getting the baby back to sleep.

He mixed up the formula with warm water and took a seat on the sofa with the little boy in his arms. He slipped the tiny nipple into Preston's little mouth and watched the bubbles as he drank from the bottle.

"There, now. Isn't that better? Daddy's not doing so hot at taking turns getting up with you, is he? Not that I mind spending time with you. Actually I enjoy our time alone. Gives us the chance to have little man to man talks. Sometimes it is just hard to wake up in the middle of the night every two hours. But I am going to have to start taking my turns or mommy is going to be really mad at me. She likes spending time with you too, but doesn't get any sleep when daddy doesn't take his turn. We'll have to work out a better system, huh?"

Elliot leaned back and kissed Preston's forehead. "Mommy and daddy love you so much, little guy. And we are so thankful that God brought you into our lives. You son, are what made us a family. Mommy and I tried for a long time to have a baby and we didn't think it would ever happen. Then you were born and we loved you so much. So we made you our son and you made all of your mommy's dreams come true. She loves you so much. Daddy loves you, too. But I have never seen mommy smile like she does when she holds you. So maybe someday you could give her a little smile back and let her know how much you love her. What do you say pal?"

Preston stared at Elliot and grunted as he sucked more milk from the bottle. He stretched open his tiny fist and wrapped his little hand tightly around his daddy's finger. After Preston finished with his bottle, Elliot burped him and carried him back to the bedroom. He rocked the tiny little boy in his arms until he had drifted off to sleep again. Elliot tucked him back into the bassinette as he looked back at the warm bed where his wife now snored.

"Ahh, no. No, no, no. This just wont do," he said as he approached the bed.

Elliot climbed across the bed and pulled the blankets out from under Olivia. She was sleeping soundly and holding tight to his pillow as she rested her head on hers.

"You can't take both pillows _and_ all of the blankets," he said as he pulled the pillow from under her head forcing her to open her eyes and look up at him.

"El, what the hell are you doing?"

"Taking back my side of the bed."

He jerked the blankets up and climbed underneath tackling her as the comforter fell back over them. They wrestled around for a bit, pillow fighting until Elliot pinned her to the bed and held her there. He tickled her and kissed her as she bit playfully at his lip.

Before long her whimpers of ecstasy and their soft moans of passion were the only sounds coming from under the pile of blankets on the bed. After a little while Olivia rolled them over on the bed and climbed on top of him. She raised up over his body leaning back as she rode him.

Her moans and soft sighs soon grew louder and Elliot could tell she was fast approaching an amazing orgasm. He moved harder under her bucking upward into her as she held tight to him. He could tell by the look on her face she was fighting off screams.

She gasped and stared at him, biting her bottom lip. She moaned louder each time he moved inside her.

"Shhhhh," Elliot reminded her looking over toward the bassinette. "Woman, I swear if you wake that baby up…"

His warning was silenced when his wife pushed her tongue into his mouth and for a moment he completely forgot what he was trying to say. Then she moaned again. Elliot smiled. He knew she was trying so hard not to make noise, but she just could not contain it. He kissed her and laughed a bit as he smiled up at her.

"You wake him, you get up with him," Elliot said as he pinned her against the bed once more and fucked her harder. Olivia kissed him and clawed at his back, for a few moments completely forgetting about the infant asleep a few feet away. Her breathing began to almost mimic sounds Lamaze and she called out a few "yes, yes, yeses" and an "oh God, yes!"

He stared up at her as the sounds of sex grew louder in the room. She was losing control.

"You bastard," she growled up at him as she bit his lip.

By now she knew it was like a challenge to him to see how loud he could make her moan without waking the baby. She would probably even have the gall to be pissed at him if she wasn't somehow distracted by the ten inch dick pounding away inside of her. It was taking everything she had in her not to scream out right now.

"El, El, oh El." She moaned out loudly as she felt the orgasm rip through her body.

Olivia moaned again as she fell forward over his body and kissed him.

"Wow," she said as she laid beside him and Elliot pulled the blankets up around them. "I think I could get used to married life," she said smiling at him.

"Oh yeah?"

"Well, the married sex at least. We're so good together."

"We are. And now we are an amazing family." Elliot kissed her tenderly as she closed her eyes and settled in against him for the night.

Just as they were both about to drift off to sleep, the little baby across the room decided it was time to start the day. Olivia groaned and as she and Elliot looked at each other.

"My turn?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah," Elliot smiled back at her.

"What time is it?"

Elliot rolled over and looked at the clock as Olivia walked to the bassinette and picked up Preston calming him in her arms.

"It is just after four."

"Baby," Olivia said smiling down at her son, "it's not even daytime yet." She kissed him gently and carried him to the window showing the darkness and city lights. "See, it's still dark outside. You're looking at the pretty lights aren't you?" she held her son against her chest as they stared out the window. Moments later she felt Elliot's arms slip around her waist.

"You're a natural. You look so beautiful holding him."

Olivia smiled. "He's our son, it isn't hard to fall in love with him. I have waited my whole life to be his mother and your wife."

Elliot leaned kissed her tenderly. "He is almost asleep again. Why don't you bring him to bed with us?"

"El, if he gets used to sleeping with us we will never break him from it."

"Liv, he's a baby. He likes being with mommy and daddy. Once or twice wont hurt him." Elliot took his son into his arms and carried him toward their bed. "Preston, do you want to sleep in the big bed with mommy and daddy?"

The baby stared up at Elliot and grunted. Elliot laid him down on one of the decorative pillows between he and Olivia as they climbed back into bed. He put the pacifier into Preston's mouth and watched his wife as she stared adoringly at the little boy.

"He is so beautiful," she said with a soft smile.

"He gets that from you."

Olivia laughed and smiled. "Somehow I doubt that."

"He kind of looks like you."

"I think he could easily pass for one of your kids. He has blue eyes. Not the same as yours, but blue."

"He is one of my kids, Liv."

"I meant that to look at him you would never think he was adopted."

"He kind of looks like both of us. Your darker hair color and blue eyes. Not to mention he is the most adorable baby in the entire world. This is definitely our son."

Olivia smiled and kissed Preston's little hand. "Thank you," she said looking across the bed at Elliot.

"For what baby?"

"For all of this. For making me the happiest woman in the world. For loving me."

"I'll let you in on a little secret," Elliot said swirling his fingertip in the little tuft of dark hair on the top of his son's head. "The two of you have made me the happiest man. I am finally married to the love of my life and we have a beautiful little boy together. Life couldn't get much better than this."

"I think it could," she said looking over at him as he leaned in and kissed her tenderly. "I'm pregnant."

Elliot stared at her for a minute stunned. "What?"

"I said I…"

"I…I heard what you said. How?"

"I don't know. I guess with this newlywed sex."

"No, baby. I mean, I thought the doctor said we couldn't…"

"He said I couldn't. Or that is was unlikely. That is why I waited until after I saw the doctor to tell you. I was going to do it tonight and set up a romantic dinner. I had it all planned out in my head. But that just seemed like the perfect time." She exhaled softly. "I'm pregnant. About six weeks."

"You are sure?"

"I'm sure," she said with a smile.

Elliot laughed and kissed her. "We're gonna have another baby?"

"It looks that way, yes."

"This is the most amazing news. Preston is going to be a big brother."

Olivia smiled. "And we are going to have our hands full."

"Yeah. Two babies just under a year apart. It will be like having twins."

"Be careful what you wish for, huh?"

"No way. This is fantastic news. I love you so much."

"I love you, too. I was so afraid that you would be nervous or upset."

"No, honey. We are having a baby, another baby."

"We should probably try to get a little rest before this baby wakes up again."

"Yeah," Elliot said kissing her again. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

The room was silent for a few moments as they the three of them laid in the dark.

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

Elliot paused for a moment, "do you think we can fit another crib into the nursery?"

Olivia laughed. "I guess there is only one way to find out." She leaned forward and kissed her husband. "Good night, El."

"Good morning."

She smiled again. "Good morning, El."

"Good morning, Olivia. I love you."

He kissed her once more and the three and a half members of their perfect little family spent the next two hours resting peacefully in one queen sized bed.


	19. 19 Tradition

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Nineteen: Tradition)_

Olivia tied the belt on her calf length trench coat and headed out the door. She flagged a cab and headed across town to see Elliot. She handed the cab driver a twenty and walked up the steps of the precinct.

"Hey Liv," Munch said with a nod as she breezed past him.

"Elliot is in an interrogation, you want me to get him?" Fin offered motioning over his shoulder toward an interrogation room where she could hear Elliot shouting at someone.

"Nah, I'll just wait. Actually, I was thinking maybe it would be better if you didn't tell him I was here. I brought him a birthday gift," she said holding up a gift bag. "This way it can be a surprise."

"Good thinking," Munch agreed as he headed for the tiny room to tap out Elliot and play the good cop before things got too far out of hand.

"Hey. Fin, can you cover Elliot out here for a minute?" She asked tapping her fingertips across Elliot's desk as she picked up the little bag and walked out of the room.

"Sure Liv," Fin replied still not quite sure what she was up to.

Usually every year on his birthday Elliot got together with the kids and enjoyed a family dinner. But this year was different. Today was his actual birthday and now that the kids were older they all had things they needed to do and places they had to be. Infact Elliot was a little bummed out and thinking that everyone had pretty much forgotten his birthday. The truth was Olivia and the kids had been planning a big surprise birthday bash for nearly two months now.

She walked into the locker room and waited patiently for her husband to return. She knew he had been stressed a lot lately with a case they were working on at work and he was just wrapping up an interrogation. From the way things had sounded it wasn't going well. And anyone who knew Elliot half as well as she did, knew that he always went to work out and vent frustration after a bad interrogation.

Moments later the locker room door flew open so hard it hit the wall bouncing back and slamming shut. Elliot tore at his tie and kicked off his shoes as he made his way toward his locker to change into his work out clothes. As he stood distracted by the mangled mass of shirt half pulled over his head, Olivia locked the door so they could have a few moments alone.

"Happy birthday Detective Stabler," she said in her sexiest voice.

"Olivia?" Elliot asked shocked from thinking he had been alone in the room. He slipped his tee shirt down to look at her.

"Well, I'm not the tooth fairy."

Elliot laughed and smiled. "Sorry baby. I am just having a horrible day. I'm about to go a few rounds with a punching bag. What are you doing here? I thought you were off today for a doctors appointment?"

"That's not until later. I had some running around to do so Kathy took Preston for me for a few hours and I wanted to drop by and bring my husband his birthday gift at work. I thought maybe this would brighten your day." She smiled and raised her hand offering him the bag.

"Thank you sweetheart," Elliot said leaning in to steal a kiss from his wife. "This little visit from you has brightened my day already."

"Glad I could help," she said with a wink.

Elliot pulled a handful of brightly colored tissue paper from the top of the bag then looked inside it. He reached into the bottom and pulled out a box.

"What is this?"

"What does it look like?" She asked seductively as she dropped her drench coat and smiled at him.

Elliot stared at her for a moment, unable to blink or speak. Olivia stood before him wearing black stiletto heels, black thigh high stockings with a thin cobalt colored band at the top that matched her garter straps. Above that was a cobalt colored ruffled half skirt that barely covered anything at all and fell just below the curve of her amazing ass. The toned golden skin of her abdomen shimmered with body powder and to look at her curves, you would never guess she was now nearly four and a half months pregnant.

"You are drooling detective," she said softly as Elliot's eyes rested on matching the bra that displayed her ample breasts as if they were trophies on a shelf. There was no doubt in his mind her body was made for sin. Looking at her now with the thoughts that were racing through his mind and pulsing through _other_ areas of his body, he was sure he was going to Hell. "You are so bad," he finally managed to mumble as she walked slowly toward him.

"The question is, have you been bad?" She asked placing one hand on her hip as she pulled a small whip from the bag. "Drop 'em," she demanded as she slapped the whip against her palm.

"What? Liv, are you crazy? What if we get caught? We could get in so much trouble. This just might be against the law."

"Where is your sense of adventure? Besides, I am the law," she said pointing at the badge she had strapped to her thigh. "Now are you going to cooperate? Or do I need to get out my hand cuffs?"

"Olivia…"

"I said drop 'em!"

"Yes ma'am," he agreed as he unbuckled his belt allowing his pants to fall to the floor around his feet.

"Up against the lockers and spread 'em!"

She pushed him forward against the lockers and proceeded to pat him down. Elliot was kind of liking this dominatrix that now seemed to inhabit his wife's body.

"Are you ready for your birthday spanking?" She asked raising an eyebrow. "I guess you _should_ receive forty five lashes. One for each year you have lived in sin. But…I don't have all day. So ten will have to do."

She drew back the whip and cracked the bouquet of eleven inch satin ribbons against his bare legs, promising danger, but delivering erotic sensations instead. Elliot moaned as he anticipated the second lash and each one after that.

Olivia spun Elliot around and kissed him, as she distracted him with her tongue she cuffed his hands in front of him. She backed him up to sit on the bench as she danced around in front of him. She reached into the bag once more, this time pulling out a neck tie exactly the same color as her outfit. She tied it around his neck and twisted it around her wrist pulling him to her and kissing him again.

She turned her back to him and held to his tie as she gave him a lap dance. Elliot groaned feeling the pain of wanting her and not being able to grasp her body with his hands as she ground her body against him.

"Baby, please."

"Please, what?"

"The handcuffs," he said raising his hands and reaching out to her, pleading for his release.

Olivia pulled his tie over her shoulder bringing his mouth to rest against her shoulder as she moved her entire body slowly against his.

"God, Olivia! Please!"

"I would love to help you. But I don't know what you want." Every word out of her mouth was a lie. She was enjoying watching him squirm under her. And his massive erection made it more than obvious what he wanted as his body was telling her what his mouth couldn't seem to say.

"I need you," he grunted out nipping at the flesh of her shoulder.

"Here?"

"Here. Now. Right, now."

By this point in her little performance Elliot was only able to form one and two word sentences. This was how Olivia knew she had him right where she wanted him.

She stood up and walked a few feet away from him as she faced the lockers and spread her long legs apart. She looked over her shoulder and smiled at him then without bending her knees bent over placing her palms against the lockers and holding her ass right in front of his face.

"Liv, baby, please take these off. Just let me touch you."

"I don't know, El. I don't think we could stop there and what if somebody hears us?"

"I don't care anymore. I need you. I need you now or I think I am going to explode."

"Well," she said pulling the handcuff key from her stocking, "we can't have that, now can we?" She unlocked the cuff around his right hand and before she could free his other Elliot had both arms wrapped tight around her waist and his mouth pressed to hers.

"Not so fast," she said pushing him back so hard he hit the bench sliding back a few inches. "Take your time."

She raised one leg onto the bench in front of him as Elliot kissed it and smoothed his hands upward from her ankle to her thigh. He slipped his fingertips under the thin blue ribbon on each side of her thong and slipped it down.

Olivia raised her hand to unbuckle the garter.

"No," Elliot said sharply placing his hand over hers, "leave that on."

Olivia smiled and stepped forward as Elliot kissed her flat stomach and groped her ass under the short skirt. He kissed up the outside of her thigh and pulled off her badge with his teeth, careful not to put a run in her stockings.

Elliot laid her down on her back across the bench and explored her body with his tongue. He placed a trail of soft kisses down her abdomen until he reached the bottom ruffle of the skirt. Olivia reached up and pulled his tee shirt over his head leaving him in his boxers and the neck tie.

Elliot kissed up the inside of her thigh and pushed her legs apart as he buried his mouth under the skirt. Olivia trembled and bit her lip to keep from screaming out as she gasped slowly. She arched her back and moved her finger tips over the back of his head helping to guide him over sensitive areas.

She panted and moaned softly, moving her hips in reaction to each flick of his tongue, somehow the tables had turned and she had lost control of the situation.

"Oh fuck," she breathed softly.

"I intend to," Elliot said raising up as she helped pull his boxers down. He placed a hand on each of her thighs and slid her down along the bench, then proceeded to take her right there in the locker room with the world right outside the door.

When they had finished, Olivia slipped her panties back on and retied the belt on her trench coat. She fixed her hair in the mirror and wiped away the lipstick from his neck as Elliot put his clothes back on.

They walked back out to the desks as Olivia grabbed some take home with her.

"Hey Elliot nice tie," Munch spoke up as he walked back in from the interrogation room. "You get that for your birthday?"

"Yeah, my wife got it for me," he said winking at Olivia.

"It is nice," Fin added.

"Thanks guys, it's my favorite!"

"You really _liked_ it?" Olivia asked twisting the tie in her fingers in a silent threat as she pretended to straighten it and stared into his eyes.

"I _loved_ it!" Elliot said winking at her. "That was the best birthday gift I have ever gotten." Olivia giggled and Elliot kissed her tenderly. "Thank you, baby."

"Well, if you're really good maybe I'll get you another tie next year."

"And if he's bad?" Fin asked.

"A tie," she replied with a smile. "I think we just started a new tradition."


	20. 20 The Element Of Surprise

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Twenty: The Element Of Surprise)_

Olivia held five and a half month old Preston in her arms as she waited for the bakery lady to show her the cake she had ordered. In two days, was the surprise party she had planned for her husband's forty fifth birthday.

"It's back here if you'd like to see it," the woman said as Olivia followed her to the back room.

"That is perfect." The cake was in the shape of a badge and even had Elliot's actual badge number. Around it a special message to the birthday boy.

_**Happy 45th**__** Birthday Detective Stabler!**_

_**With Love From The Stabler Clan,**_

_**Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth, Dickie, Eli, Preston, Olivia & Baby Stabler **_

Olivia paid the woman and scribbled an address onto a piece of paper.

"I need it delivered here before four o'clock on Saturday," she said with a smile.

"No problem," the woman said handing Olivia her receipt.

After the cake was taken care of Olivia called the restaurant to ensure that their reservations were secured. Then it was off to her doctors appointment.

During the early weeks of her pregnancy Olivia had experienced some cramping and spotting. Her doctor ran tests and it didn't seem to have effected the baby, but her doctor had been scheduling her for extra appointments just to keep an eye on the newest member of the Stabler family.

An ultra sound was scheduled during the last visit and Elliot had gone with her hoping to catch a hint at the baby's sex. Olivia had decided she would rather wait and find out when the child was born, but Elliot was really hoping they were expecting a daughter.

Olivia smiled at the thought of having a daughter as she rubbed her hand over her belly. She really didn't necessarily prefer either sex as long as the baby was healthy. It would be nice if Preston had a little brother to play with, although he would probably have just as much fun with a baby sister.

Elliot had his heart set on a baby girl who looked like Olivia. And he was so certain that this baby was a girl that he had already brought home _her _first baby doll and a little pink sleeper that had _daddy's girl _embroideredon it.Unfortunately for Elliot, at the time of the last ultrasound it was too early in the pregnancy to tell the baby's sex_._

Olivia buckled Preston into his stroller and handed him a few toys and a bottle. He laid back in the stroller holding his bottle and sucking on his pacifier and was asleep before they even called her back to see the doctor.

After her examine, the doctor had a talk with Olivia about her limitations. Although everything seemed to be just fine as of now, she was worried that Olivia would over exert herself and possibly cause complications with the baby. She suggested that Olivia take an early maternity leave and go on bed rest a couple of weeks before her due date to try and reduce any stress on her body and the baby. She also didn't seem too pleased with the idea of Olivia carrying Preston around.

"It doesn't hurt when I pick him up or carry him," Olivia said looking in the stroller at her sleeping son.

"It is not really now that I am worried about. Looking at this ultrasound I am seeing that the baby's placenta is attached lower than it really should be. So far I think you still stand a pretty good chance of having a healthy pregnancy and vaginal delivery is still an option. But the bleeding and cramping you had before is from the placenta starting to detach itself from the uterus or weaken in areas. If this happens again, I will have to put you on full bed rest until delivery. I am watching the baby's development closely and everything seems to be doing just fine. We are right on schedule. But what often happens in cases like yours is the placenta can block the opening to the cervix as the baby develops. This is nothing to be concerned about right now, but if the condition does develop I will have to put you on bed rest and schedule a cesarean delivery."

Olivia looked almost mortified. "You think I am going to lose my baby?"

"No, I didn't mean to scare you. I just want you to be aware of the complications that could occur and the severity of the case. Right now, just pay attention to what your body is telling you. Do not push yourself so much. If you have been on your feet for a while, take a break and rest a while. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and exercise, but take it easy. I am sure that at this point picking Preston up is fine, Olivia. But you are four and a half months pregnant. He will be almost a year old when you are due to have this baby. And as hard as it is going to be on both of you to adjust to, I really don't want you picking him up and carrying him around once you enter you third trimester. Sitting to hold him for short periods of time should be alright. I realize he is just a baby and he is not going to understand why mommy cannot hold him as much. You may want to consider hiring a nurse or a nanny to help you with Preston until after the baby is born."

"I think we'll be alright. I can cut back on picking him up. Elliot can help out more as I get bigger with this baby and the kids are there on the weekends. I really don't want to hire a stranger to help me raise my kids."

"It was only a suggestion." The doctor took a deep breath and handed Olivia the ultrasound pictures of the baby. "As of right now, you have a beautiful healthy baby inside there," she said smiling at Olivia. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just want to be upfront with you about this now so that we can work on a plan. I want you to understand the risk and know what is going on. I want to keep seeing you every two weeks, probably until delivery. I think as long as we keep an eye on things and take a few precautions, everything will be just fine."

"That's good," Olivia said as she exhaled. She was now more nervous than ever about being an expected mother.

* * *

Saturday afternoon finally rolled around and Olivia got up and took Preston out for their weekly shopping. Afterward she called Elliot and asked him to meet them for dinner. Olivia had gotten to the restaurant in plenty of time to make sure that everyone was in place for the big surprise when Elliot arrived.

She sent him a text letting him know that she and Preston had gotten them a table in the back room. What Elliot didn't know that the entire back room was full of family and friends waiting to surprise him when he walked through the door.

The party went over well and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. After dinner and cake, Elliot and Olivia enjoyed a little dancing. Across the room the children laughed and talked about what a cute couple they made.

When the party was over they returned home. Olivia held the door open as Elliot carried a sleeping Preston in and placed him in his crib. They kissed their son goodnight and headed to their bedroom for the evening.

"It was a great party," Elliot said from his side of the bed as he changed into his boxers and tee shirt to get some rest.

"Were you surprised?" Olivia asked from the bathroom as she got ready for bed as well.

"Definitely. Thank you for putting this together."

"No problem. I wanted you to have an amazing birthday. And it is our first one together as a family."

"I like us all together as a family. We actually merged really well. You and me and the kids and Preston. And now the baby. The kids are so excited about getting another baby brother or sister. Almost as excited as I am."

"Almost, huh?" She asked stepping from the bathroom and shutting off the light as she tied her robe shut.

"Almost," he insisted as he nodded his head.

Olivia smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed as she began to apply lotion to her arms. "Oh, I almost forgot. We got you something for your birthday," she said pulling an envelope from the nightstand drawer.

"We as in you and Preston?"

"No," she said shaking her head, "we as in me and the baby."

Elliot smiled and kissed his wife tenderly. He slid his fingertip under the edge of the envelope breaking the seal. He pulled out the card and studied it for a few moments.

"_**For the father who has everything…."**_

Elliot opened the card and a stack of pictures fell out into his lap. He picked them up and flipped them over to look at them. He grinned as he closely examined each sonogram picture, but she had never seen him smile bigger than he did when he reached the last one in the stack.

The picture was a little foggy and herd to even tell what you were looking at, but the words typed across the bottom were clear.

"_**Happy Birthday Daddy! From Your Little Girl!"**_

Olivia watched as Elliot began to cry.

"It's a girl?" He asked looking up at her with tears in his eyes.

"It's a girl," she whispered as she straddled herself across his waist and kissed him. "Our little girl," she said softly as she placed his hand against her belly.

Olivia kissed him passionately. As their lips parted Elliot kissed the picture and slipped them all back into the card sitting it back on the nightstand. "These are going in a frame on my desk at work," he said with a smile. He had never been more proud at any moment in his life.

"I figured you would say that. I got you a frame, too. But with the party and everything, I didn't have time to wrap it. Do you have any idea how hard it was to know these last few days and not tell you? I was so afraid that you were going to ask me if they checked and I didn't want to lie to you about it."

"Well, I didn't think they would be able to tell because the last time she said it was too early and you weren't far enough along."

"It's still a bit early. But she was very cooperative with the ultrasound. We got lucky."

"I have been lucky a lot lately."

"Me too," she said with a smile. "And speaking of getting lucky…." she sat up and slipped off her robe tossing it aside to reveal canary yellow mesh baby doll night gown with a little black bow under the pleated bust and matching bikini underwear.

"This is going to be a long night," Elliot said as he reached beside the bed and turned off the light and pulled his wife to the bed.


	21. 21 Man Of The House

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Twenty One: Man Of The House)_

"El, stop. Than tickles," Olivia laughed half asleep.

Elliot walked his fingers playfully across the bulge of her belly, then smoothed his hand over the surface.

"Daddy loves you," he whispered softly against her skin as he kissed it.

Olivia groaned and pressed her hand against her lower abdomen.

"What is it? A contraction?" Elliot asked worried about his wife and baby girl.

"No, she is kicking under my ribs. And I have to pee again," Olivia said groaning again as she slid to the edge of the bed.

She walked across the room as she smoothed her hands over her belly to try and calm her daughter inside. "I really wish you wouldn't wake her up this early," Olivia said from the bathroom.

"I'm sorry. I always talk to her before I leave for work. I wouldn't want her to think daddy was mad at her or anything."

"El, she isn't even born yet," Olivia said smiling at him from around the door frame, "what could she possibly do to make you mad?"

"Nothing she could ever do could make me mad enough to stop talking to her. She is daddy's little girl."

Olivia smiled. "She is huh?"

"Oh yes, that has already been decided."

"I don't get a vote in this? What if she wants to be mommy's girl?"

"Well, she loves her mommy, too. But she is definitely daddy's girl."

"We can continue this discussion later."

"Okay," Elliot said kissing his wife as he headed down the hall to Preston's room to wake him, "I need to wake our son up anyway if I am going to get him to Kathy's and get to work on time."

"I still think it is silly to take him to a babysitter if I am home anyway. He isn't that much trouble, I could keep him. I'm his mother."

"Absolutely not," Elliot protested as he kissed his wife again. "You heard what your doctor said, she put you on bed rest until delivery to reduce the stress on mommy and baby. You are not even supposed to pick him up right now, Liv. How are you going to chase after him and lug him around all day?"

"I just feel like I am neglecting my son. I am staying home from work and still sending him to a babysitter. It doesn't feel right."

"Sweetheart, I promise you, once our little girl gets here safe and sound everything will return to normal. You will have six to eight weeks off work with two babies. Before you know it you will be begging for a babysitter."

"No, I want to keep Preston while I am home with her."

"Alright, but not until your doctor clears you to pick him up again. Right now holding him and carrying him around puts too much strain on you and her," he said kissing her belly. That reminds me…._her_, needs a name."

"I know she does, but I am not due for another four weeks. We still have time. I am so afraid that we are going to pick a name she will hate as she is older. She'll have this name her whole life, I just want to take the time to pick a good one."

"Tonight, we are going through the baby books again. There has to be something that we both agree on. Your homework today, check out baby girl names online and make a list of ones you like."

"My mission, should I choose to accept it?" She smiled and folded her arms in front of her as she leaned against the door and watched Elliot change Preston's diaper.

"I'm serious, Liv. We have known for almost four months that we are having a daughter, she should already have a name by now."

"Okay, I will make a list. But right now, I am going to make breakfast. That is one thing I can do even with a big belly. Good morning, Preston." Olivia combed her fingers through her son's sandy colored hair and kissed his forehead as Elliot dressed him for the day.

She headed down the hall and began breakfast as Elliot packed the diaper bag with plenty of diapers, a few toys, a bottle (for naptime), a sippy cup and an extra change of clothes just in case. He carried his son into the kitchen and buckled him in to his booster seat at the table, where mommy waited with his breakfast.

Elliot grabbed a few drinks from his coffee mug and stole another sweet kiss from his wife and headed for the shower. Olivia assisted her little big boy in feeding himself mushy lumps of scrambled egg and tiny bites of toast, with his toddler fork.

Elliot returned a bit later and sat down with them to enjoy the last ten minutes before he had to leave home to start their day. This had become their new morning routine, since Olivia had been put on her restrictions.

In the evenings she and Elliot took turns fixing supper and they would all sit down as a family to have dinner. This was much easier now that Preston had began to eat big boy foods. With the booster seat between them they would share conversation about their day and interesting things Olivia had read about pregnancy.

After supper mommy would load the dishwasher while daddy gave Preston his bath. Preston, enjoyed this much more when mommy did it, but could live with dad taking over as long as there were plenty of toys and bubbles and dad let him splash. After his bath, Elliot would dress his son in his pajamas and carry him into the living room to play in the floor with mommy.

Preston had begun to walk a little and was getting good at walking or running four or five steps before he realized he wasn't holding on to anything and lose his confidence, eventually dropping to his bottom and crawling the rest of the way to his destination. Crawling, for this little man, however could have been an Olympic event. He got around so quickly now that he was across the room and into something else before you could even clean up the first mess he had made. He was curious about everything and loved to explore and learn new things.

Sometimes when he would get in his sweet and loving moods, Preston would crawl over to mommy and place his hands on her big belly like he had seen his daddy do. Mommy and daddy had explained to him that his baby sister now lived inside there and Preston would smile and coo and talk his little baby gibberish, then lean forward and kiss Olivia's belly.

Every now and then Liv would feel the little girl moving inside and hold Preston's little hand over the place so he could feel it too. He was probably too little to understand any of what was going on or about to happen, but it was important to she and Elliot both that their little boy be involved in the pregnancy as much as possible. Elliot had already shot dozens of videos of Preston interacting with the baby in mommy's belly and he knew that his son was going to be a wonderful big brother.

At night to unwind before falling asleep, Olivia would sit in the rocking chair in Preston's room with a book. Elliot would fix the little boy a bottle and sit his son in Olivia's lap to cuddle with mommy a little as she read him a bedtime story. Once he was asleep she would say her goodnights and daddy would tuck him into his crib for the night.

As of right now, this entire household pretty much revolved around the blue eyes little boy and this was the way he liked it. Preston had always been a happy baby, smiling non stop from the moment he figured out how to. He had always kind of been mommy's little man. Giving her his first smiles and kisses and even his first word, "ma." He was definitely mommy's boy.

He loved to sit in the kitchen floor clanking away at pots and pans and watch as she cooked dinner. Or hand her the towels one by one from the laundry basket for her to fold, occasionally chewing or slobbering on one. When Olivia made their bed in the morning she would toss the mound of blankets and pillows into the floor and her son somehow always ended up buried right in the middle of them. He always brought mommy the remote controls one at a time so they wouldn't get lost, even when it wasn't time to watch TV. He was momma's little helper.

Olivia stood at the sink rinsing out the few breakfast dishes as she felt a little hand on her leg. She looked down as two of the most beautiful blue eyes stared up at her.

"Ma," he cooed as he reached for her to hold him.

"Mommy can't pick you up, sweetheart," she said softly as he pulled himself to his feet holding on to her. She patted the top of his head and combed her fingers through his hair as she stared up at her and blinked.

"Mmmaaa," he repeated reaching up for her once more.

"Okay," she said kneeling to cuddle her little boy.

Olivia sat in the floor and hugged Preston as he showed her the little car he had brought in to her. She played with him for a few minutes in the floor of the kitchen until daddy was ready to leave.

"Preston, this is a red car. Can you say red?"

He stared at her and pointed to the car.

"Red," she repeated as he watched the shape her mouth formed as she said it. "Red, car."

Preston raised his little hand and placed it against his mothers mouth as she said it once more.

"Maybe that is a little much," she said aloud to her self. "Car," she said holding the toy up for the baby to focus on. "Car."

Preston smiled and pointed at it as he gave it his best shot, "ca."

Olivia smiled. "Good boy. Car." She closed her hand around the object and smiled at him. "Where's the car?"

Preston pointed to her hand and said, "ca."

Olivia laughed and clapped as Preston clapped.

"Yes, car. Good job. Preston, where is sissy?"

He stared at his mother for a moment and smiled as he crawled toward her and placed his little finger against her belly.

"That's right. Sissy is in mommy's belly. Can you give sissy kisses?"

He smiled and giggled as he kissed Olivia's belly.

"Aww, what a good big brother. Can you give mommy kisses?"

"Ma," he said placing a little hand on each side of Olivia's face to kiss her.

"Thank you buddy. Mommy loves you so much."

"Liv," Elliot called as he came down the hall. "Where did I put the diaper bag?"

"I'm not sure."

"I thought I sat it by the door, but it isn't here. Damn it, son!" Elliot mumbled as he tripped over the empty diaper bag and all of its contents scattered across the floor in the dining room."

Olivia laughed as she crawled around the corner to watch Elliot picking up all of the things from the diaper bag and stuffing them back inside.

"I take it you sat it in the floor, by the door."

"I guess so," Elliot said looking over at his son. "You son, are going to make me later for work."

"He was trying to help, daddy."

"You don't encourage him," he said pointing to her as she laughed. "Watch what he can do. Preston, car."

Preston looked at Olivia and giggled as he took the toy from her hand, "ca."

Olivia grinned the grin of a proud mother. "He is so smart."

"Yeah, he is. I'll give you three guesses where he found that car."

Olivia laughed again as she reached for Elliot's hand. "Help me up."

"What are you doing in the floor in the first place?"

"Compromising. The doctor said I can't pick him up, she didn't say I couldn't sit in the floor and hold him."

Elliot smiled. "You are so stubborn. Now I know where your son gets it."

"My daughter has it too," she remarked smiling at him as Elliot rubbed little circles over her belly to feel his little girl move, "so you had better just get used to it."

"We do have pretty amazing kids, don't we?"

"Yeah, we do. You two are going to be late," she said kissing her husband as she slipped the diaper bag strap over his shoulder. "Bye."

"Bye, baby." Elliot kissed his wife and leaned to kiss her belly as well. "Bye, baby. Preston, tell mommy bye." He picked Preston up on his hip and leaned forward for him to kiss Olivia.

"By Preston," she said with a smile. "Bye, bye," she cooed to her son as he waved and blew mommy kisses and he and daddy got into the elevator.

Olivia exhaled softly and leaned against the door of the apartment. She had only been up for an hour or so, but was already so tired. She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator to take her prenatal vitamin and headed back to the bedroom to try and rest a little while.

It was around three o'clock that afternoon when the phone rang.

Olivia opened her eyes to stare at the blank computer screen in front of her. She had been trying to make a list of baby girl names and watch a movie at the same time and must have dozed off. She yawned and sat up as she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Olivia?"

"Kathy, what is going on? Is Preston alright?"

"Calm down, he's fine. He is just running a little fever and has been fussy all afternoon. I just checked him and he is at one hundred. I gave him some Motrin and I'm sure he will be just fine in a little while. I just wanted to let you know what was going on. He has been chewing on his fingers a lot and crying. I'm sure he is just cutting teeth."

As Olivia listened to Kathy talk she could hear her baby crying in the background for his, _ma_.

"My poor baby, I'm gonna come and get him."

"No, Liv. There is no need for that, he is alright here. You shouldn't be lifting on him and he is wanting to be held a lot right now."

"Kathy, Elliot will be home in a couple of hours. I can take care of my son, that long."

"Liv, it really isn't healthy for the baby. I have Dickie and Elizabeth here to help me, with him and Eli. We will be just fine until Elliot gets here to pick him up. I just wanted to let you know that if you don't have some Tylenol or Motrin there, you might have Elliot pick some up on his way home. I am sure it is just teething, I just wanted to let you know what was going on."

"Yeah, I just hate that he is crying for me and I cant even come and get him. I'm gonna call El and see what he wants to do. I'll call you back, okay."

"Sure."

Olivia hung up the phone and called Elliot on his cell.

"Hey, baby. Is everything alright?"

"The baby and I are fine. But Kathy just called me about Preston. She said he is running a one hundred and one degree fever and has been fussy all afternoon. She said she thinks he is cutting teeth. Elliot he is so upset. I could hear him crying and calling for me the entire time I was on the phone with her. I'm really worried about him."

"You want me to go pick him up?"

"I think you should bring him home. I mean if you can, how busy are you there?"

"Never too busy to take care of my son. If you think I should bring him home, then I'll bring the paperwork I have home with me. I'll pick him up and be on my way."

"Should I call his pediatrician? He doesn't usually run a fever, even when he is getting new teeth."

"It couldn't hurt to have him checked out. Especially with you eight months pregnant. If he is coming down with something we need to know, so you don't get it."

"Elliot, I was kissing on him all morning. If he is sick, I am already exposed."

"True. Okay, what about this…you call the pediatrician and get us an appointment. I'll go get Pres, from Kathy's and stop by there on the way home. At least them we will know what is going on instead of spending the entire night wondering about it. It isn't like our nine month old can tell us why he is sick."

"Okay, thanks El. I just feel so bad. My baby boy is sick and I am not even there to comfort him."

"I know sweetheart."

Olivia called and made the appointment and Elliot headed to Queens to pick up his son.

An hour and a half later Olivia waited nervously by the phone as she heard the apartment door open. Elliot carried Preston into their bedroom and put him in bed with his wife.

"Aww buddy," she whispered kissing the forehead of her now sleeping child. "What did the doctor say?"

"She felt his gums and said he is getting three new teeth. And he has an ear infection."

"Oh, no."

"Pretty painful stuff. She said to keep using the Motrin for the fever and called in a prescription for some antibiotic for the ear infection. Kathy said she couldn't get him to eat anything either. I asked her about that and she said they make supplement drinks for little kids. She said give him that and juice and as long as he doesn't go more than a few days without actually eating, he should be fine. She said it should all pass in a few days. But if the fever lasts more than a day or so or spikes to page her and bring him back in. I needed to go pick up his medicine in about twenty minutes, but he finally crashed in the car and I knew you were worried. So I figured I'd bring him home to rest with his mommy while I run out and get everything."

"Thank you so much."

"No problem, honey. If he is sick I would rather him be with his mommy. He reached for me when I got there to pick him up, as I held him he laid his little head on my shoulder and cried for _ma_."

Olivia smiled. "That's my boy."

"He will definitely be glad to see you when he wakes up. I'm gonna go and try to get back as soon as I can. I was thinking I could pick something up for dinner or we could order in."

"That is fine."

"Any ideas?"

"Ummm, pizza actually sounds really good. With pepperoni and banana peppers."

"Anything for you, my love." Elliot kissed her tenderly. "Anything else you want while I'm out?"

"Oh, pudding!"

"Pudding?"

"Yes! Chocolate…no, vanilla pudding. And a brownie."

"Vanilla pudding and a brownie, no problem. Anything else?"

"Peanut butter, Captain Crunch."

"Okay, angel. I am leaving the cordless right here by the bed, if he wakes up or you think of anything else you need…or want…while I'm gone, give me a call."

"Thanks, El."

"I love you baby."

"I love you, too."

Elliot returned a while later with the medicine. When Preston woke up, Elliot fixed him a sippy cup with one of the supplement drinks in it and he cuddled with his mommy in the big bed. After he had his medicine and had fallen asleep, Elliot carried him into what had once been the nursery and was now Preston's own bedroom and laid him in his crib.

Since daddy gave up his office to set up a pink butterfly and dragonfly themed nursery for their baby girl, big brother Preston now had his own play space for his trucks and books. This allowed them to decorate for a little girl as well as hopefully make it easier for them to get up several times a night with a newborn without waking Preston.

Around three o'clock in the morning Preston woke up crying. Elliot went to check on him and comfort his son, but it was no use. He bounced and rocked the little boy, but he wanted his mother.

Moments later Olivia appeared in the doorway and talked to her son trying to sooth him. Elliot held his son against his shoulder and rocked him slowly as Olivia rubbed his back and sang to him. She kissed his little fire head and whispered softly how much she loved him, but that just wasn't enough.

Preston raised up and reached out to Olivia for her to hold him.

"Maaa," he whimpered as little tears streamed down his face.

"Let me hold him El," she said with tears in her eyes. "He doesn't understand any of this. He's just a baby."

"Sit in the chair," he said kissing his son on the forehead.

Olivia sat down and placed a pillow against in her lap to help provide support and keep Preston's weight from her belly. Elliot turned the baby boy onto his back and placed him into Olivia's arms. He moved to the crib and pulled out Preston's fire truck blanket and pacifier and handed them to his son as Olivia began to rock him. She picked up the story book she read to him from every night before bed and began to tell him a story.

Preston laid in her lap and stared up at her, content once more as his mommy held him. He sucked on his pacifier and listened to the story until his little eyes just couldn't stay open any longer.

Elliot picked him up and moved to lay him back in the crib. But as he did the baby began to stir and fuss again.

"You can't sit in that chair and hold him all night. Why don't we just put him in our bed tonight?"

"Baby, I'm not sure we'll all fit in our bed."

"We'll fit. We'll make it work. It is the only way any of us are going to get any sleep tonight. He is sick and exhausted and you should be resting. If he wakes up I will get up with him, but you will be right there beside him. He wants his mommy."

Olivia smiled. "Okay, but don't forget his blanket. I'll be in in a minute, I have to pee again."

Elliot kissed his wife and carried Preston to their bed. He laid his son between their pillows and covered him with his blanket as Olivia climbed into bed beside the little boy.

She smiled across the bed at him as Elliot turned off the light.

"See, plenty of room," Elliot said with a smile. "I love you.

"I love you, too. And it is probably a good thing that there is plenty of room because it wont be long and we will have two babies sleeping in the bed with us."

Elliot laughed. "We might need to get a bigger bed."

Olivia smiled as she leaned over Preston and kissed her husband. "I love you."

"And I love you."

"Thank you for giving me this beautiful family. I know it gets crazy sometimes, but I love you all so much and I wouldn't trade a moment of this for anything in the world," she said with a soft smile as she felt her daughter kick inside of her.

"Neither would I," Elliot replied reaching over Preston to place his hand where hers was and feel the baby. "Did you think of any names?"

"Just one."

Elliot smiled. "Progress, what is it?"

"Maci Lynn. Do you like it?"

Elliot smiled as he repeated the name. "Maci Lynn Stabler." He rubbed his hand over her belly and smiled again. "Our daughter, Maci."

"What do you think?"

"I think it's beautiful."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I do. I really like it. No, I love it. Maci Lynn Stabler. I think it's perfect."

Olivia smiled as Elliot kissed her again. She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling in the dark. "Maci," she said softly with a smile.


	22. 22 I'll Be There

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Twenty Two: I'll Be There)_

Olivia sighed as she closed the car door behind her and buckled the seatbelt under her belly.

"Everything alright?" Asked slipping his hand into hers.

"Yeah, I'm afraid I just don't have the energy I used to. It was nice of the girls to sit with Preston and let us have a little time alone together."

"Yes, it was. You know here before too long time alone is going to be a thing of the past. Once Maci arrives we will have seven children and two of them babies. We're going to have our hands full for a while."

"About eighteen years," Olivia laughed as she smoothed her hand over her belly. "I know we were planning to go and do some more baby shopping El, but I am getting tired fast. After the movie and running errands all morning I am wore out. I was thinking maybe we could just skip to the grocery shopping and then head home. We still have three weeks before Maci gets here, plenty of time to pick up the few things she doesn't already have."

"Sure baby," Elliot said as he pulled the car over in front of the store. "I'll just call Maureen and let her know we'll be home soon."

"I'm gonna go on inside. I have to…"

"Pee," Elliot said at the same time she did making her laugh.

"Yes, I have to pee. I'll meet you inside."

Elliot kissed her tenderly as she pushed the car door closed and walked into the store.

An hour later Elliot carried four bags of groceries as they stepped off the elevator and Olivia unlocked the door to their apartment. She walked inside and tossed her keys onto the table beside the door.

"Preston, mommy and daddy are home!"

Olivia walked around the corner and into the dining room to see all six children and room full of guests.

"What is this?" Olivia asked turning to look at Elliot as he took Preston from Maureen.

"The girls wanted to host a baby shower for you," Elliot said with a smile. "I was supposed to keep you out of the house for a few hours so they could get set up."

Olivia smiled. "Thank you guys," she said looking back at everyone around her. "This is so sweet of you all."

"You guys ready?" Elliot asked reaching for Eli's hand.

"You're not staying?"

"Baby showers are for girls, Liv. But Eli, Preston and I left a gift on the top of the stack," Dickie replied hugging her. "We just came to help set up."

"So where are you guys going?"

"Dad got us tickets to a Rangers game," Dickie replied with a big smile.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I have known about this for a few weeks. It seems you are not the only surprise party planner in the family."

"Well, you guys have fun. Preston, be good buddy," she said kissing her baby boy. "Enjoy your first hockey game."

"See you in a few hours sweetheart. You girls have fun." Elliot kissed his wife and waved to his daughters, then he and the three boys were off to the game.

Olivia turned around and looked at the familiar faces surrounding her. The three girls and Kathy, Casey and Alex, Melinda Warner and several of the women from their church.

"You girls put this all together?" She asked looking at Kathleen.

"Yup. The boys helped."

"Come on," Maureen said leading Olivia in to the overstuffed chair in the living room. She pushed the footstool up so Liv could reach it and smiled at her. "I'm gonna get you some punch and cake. Are you comfortable?"

"I'm fine honey," Olivia assured her as she felt Maci kicking wildly inside her.

"Good, because we have a lot of games to play," Elizabeth said.

"We do, huh?"

"Not to mention about a hundred gifts to open up," Kathleen said pointing to the table across the room.

"We'd better get started then," Olivia said with a smile.

"Alright," Elizabeth said. "Let's start with baby name bingo!"

"Baby name bingo?" Olivia asked as Kathleen handed her a bingo card.

"Yeah," Kathleen said with a smile. "Dickie made up the cards on the computer. It's the same as regular bingo, except we used the letters of Maci's name."

Olivia looked down at the card with the name Maci Lynn spelled out in bold letters across the top. She ran her finger across her little girl's name and smiled.

"And we used different numbers for each 'N' row."

"This is really neat," Olivia said as Elizabeth handed her a pink bingo dobber. "You guys did such a great job with this baby shower."

"This is our baby sister," Kathleen said placing her hand over Olivia's belly. "We wanted it to be a great party."

Over the next hour they all played several games and everyone really seemed to be enjoying themselves. Olivia couldn't pass up a piece of chocolate baby shower cake. The cake was a three tiers with yellow fondant icing. On the icing were little white daises and pink and purple butterflies, also made of fondant. The a pastel pink banner between cake layers read 'Welcome Baby Maci' and the matching cupcakes were iced with pink and yellow and green fondant each with a daisy and a butterfly as well. They were individually wrapped in a little plastic bag and ties off with a curly ribbon for party guests to take home with them. Everything was so beautiful and Olivia was really happy that Kathy had thought to bring a camera and take pictures for her.

"We should open the gifts," Maureen suggested as the guests all found a seat after getting a piece of cake.

"Well, before we do that," Olivia said, "I think I need a little break." She pulled herself from the chair and moved down the hall toward the bathroom. As she stood she felt an ach in her lower back and placed her hand over the spot. She had been feeling this discomfort and some mild cramping all day, but didn't want to worry Elliot. It was only yesterday that she had seen her doctor who examined her and said that everything looked fine. She wasn't dilating, yet and that aches and pains this far along were normal.

Olivia exhaled and stared at her reflection in the mirror for a moment as she held her hand on her lower abdomen and breathed through another cramp. They really only seemed to bother her when she stood up and it was probably from walking around shopping all morning.

She closed her eyes fighting off a small wave of nausea, probably brought on by the extremely rich cake she had just ingested. She opened the medicine cabinet and took two Tums. She stretched a little then made her way back down the hall to tend to her party guests.

As Olivia was walking in to sit back down she had another pain. Kathy looked up from across the room and watched as Olivia tried to hide the look of pain in her eyes. She made her way across the room and helped Olivia to her seat.

"Are you alright?" She whispered.

"I'm fine. It has just been a long day and I'm over tired. After the party I'll lie down. I'm sure everything is fine."

"Liv, how far apart are they?"

"What? No, it is nothing like that. I'm not due for another three weeks and I saw my doctor yesterday. She said everything is fine."

"Liv, those pains are contractions."

"Those Braxton Hicks things, right? She told me I might start having them."

"How many have you had?"

"Several small ones. That was the first big one I have had."

"How often have you had them?"

"Off and on all day. Through most of the party. But I only have the really bad ones when I stand up."

Olivia shifted and placed her hand against her belly again. Kathy held her hand and watched her as she breathed through another pain. She looked down at her watch and nodded.

"Six minutes," she noted aloud.

"Huh?" Olivia asked.

"Six minutes from the time of the last contraction to this one. And this one was longer. Olivia, I think maybe we should get you to the hospital."

"What?"

"Liv, you're in labor."

Olivia shook her head in protest. "It is those false contraction things."

"Sweetheart, I have had five children and I'm a nurse. I know labor when I see it. And you are in labor."

"I cant do this now. It is too early and Elliot isn't here and the kids worked so hard on this party."

"The kids will understand and I can call Elliot on your way to the hospital. You need to go. I can have Maureen drive you and the other girls and I can wrap things up here. I will call Elliot and he can meet you there. But you need to go and you need to go soon."

"Okay," Olivia groaned as she had a much harder and non mistakable full blown contraction.

As she did everyone in the room turned their attention to her.

"Maureen," Kathy said to her oldest daughter.

"Yeah, mom?"

"You need to take Olivia to the hospital in your car. She just went into labor."

"Oh my gosh."

"Everything will be fine, honey. You just need to stay calm and drive safely. I will take care of things here and call your father."

"Okay. Liv, it's gonna be okay." Maureen grabbed her purse and keys and helped Olivia toward the door.

"Everyone," Kathy announced, "I'm afraid we are going to have to cut our party a little short. Our guest of honor just went into labor."

"I'll call dad," Kathleen said as Kathy and Elizabeth began to show the guests out and distribute the party favors. They quickly cleaned up the mess, throwing away all of the excess paper cups and napkins, then headed for the hospital.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Olivia had no doubt she was actually in labor. Her contractions were now about five minutes apart and coming on harder and stronger. Maureen held Olivia's hand as the admitting nurse pulled around a wheel chair and sent them up to the maternity ward.

Up on the fifth floor Olivia whimpered through another contraction as she waited for Elliot to arrive. Maureen checked her phone for missed calls and messages just as it rang.

"Hello? Dad, where are you? Yeah. Here talk to Liv." She held her phone to Olivia's ear as Elliot told his wife he loved her and he was on his way.

"Stay with her baby," he told Maureen. "I am on my way. You stay with her until I get there. She is scared and I don't want her to be alone."

"I will daddy."

"I love you sweetheart."

"See you in a little bit, dad." Maureen closed her phone and returned her attention to Olivia. "He'll be here as soon as he can, Liv. He wouldn't miss this for the world."

"He'd better hurry then," Olivia groaned as she squeezed Maureen's hand once more.

Elliot rushed into the hospital with Preston in his arms and the other two boys trailing behind him.

"Daddy," Elizabeth said as Elliot stepped into the waiting room.

"Where is she?" He asked handing Preston to Kathy.

"They took Liv back there," Elizabeth said. "But Maureen is the only one they will let go in. She is still with, Olivia."

"Okay, can you help your mom keep up with your brothers?"

"I will."

Elliot walked down the hall to the nurses station where the nurse on duty showed him in to see his wife.

"So, what is going on?" Elliot asked the doctor. "Can you stop the labor?"

"I see no reason to. Heart and lungs appear to be healthy and right now stopping delivery could mean higher risks than delivery. The baby appears to be a healthy weight and is fully developed. Olivia, what do you think?"

"I want _my_ doctor," she snapped obviously agitated with the extreme amount of pain she was in.

"I have called her and she is on her way. But I assure you she will tell you the same thing. The medications we use to stop preterm labor can also cause high blood pressure and sometimes complications during delivery. We really only like to use them if it is a last resort and it is unsafe to deliver. This baby is healthy and ready to come out. If I stop your labor now, you are liable to be back in here in a few days or a week in the same situation."

"Can you give her something for pain?"

"I already have. It should kick in momentarily. Then she will be able to relax a little and maybe even rest some."

"Rest? She is in labor."

"Yes, but she is just starting to dilate and her water has not even broken yet. This is also a first delivery, those usually take hours. I have given her something to take the edge off. It really is best if she can rest or even sleep a little now."

"Can the kids come in and see her?"

"For a few minutes, but only two at a time. There is a full waiting room out there. I'm sorry, but that is just too many people."

"It's alright, thank you doctor."

Maureen hugged her dad and kissed Olivia's cheek. "I'll step back out there and give someone else a change to come in for a little while. I'll have Kathleen bring Preston back, I'm sure he is worried about his mommy."

"Thank you honey," Olivia whispered squeezing her hand.

Over the next few hours Olivia's doctor arrived and examined her. She agreed that things looked promising for a healthy delivery and told them that by this time tomorrow, their baby girl would be here.

The kids came back to visit one by one, then Kathy manned the waiting area as Stabler children scattered around the room resting. Preston, however cried for his mother, so Elliot kept him in the room with he and Olivia. Liv, kissed her baby boy as he laid beside her in the hospital bed trying to get a little sleep as they waited for time for little Maci to arrive.

For the next eight and a half hours Olivia had contractions and tried to catnap in between. She was progressing, but it seemed to be happening slowly.

The next morning the children came in for little visits and Kathy carried Preston around the hospital waiting area with her. Nearly eleven hours after Olivia had been admitted to the hospital, her water finally broke.

"That should start things progressing a little faster," her doctor said as she checked her for dilation once more. "You are at about a five now. You will feel your contractions getting harder and closer. And in a few hours, we should have a baby."

"Thank you doctor," Elliot said as the woman left them alone in the room.

"I just wish they would make it be over. I am tired of this. I just want her to be here and to not be in labor anymore."

"You are pushing twelve hours. Kathy was in labor with Maureen for eighteen hours."

"You are not helping, Elliot. And actually, I was in labor for a few hours before that and didn't realize it."

"You are a trooper, baby. You are doing so good," he said as he helped her onto her side and he began to rub her back.

"That feels good. I think all of my pain stuff has worn off. When do they do the epidural?"

"I think she said she wants you to be dilated to a seven first."

Olivia groaned and Elliot held her hand as the contraction weakened.

"That was a good one," Elliot said looking at the lines on the graph the machine used to measure her contractions made.

"Yeah," she said softly. "They are getting stronger."

"You want me to ask about the epidural?"

"No, I am afraid if I take it too early it will wear off during the really bad part."

She made a strange face and placed her hand under her belly.

"Are you having another one?"

"No, she's kicking me really hard right here. I guess this isn't too comfortable for her either."

"You will both feel better once she is out of there and she has more room. She's probably pretty cramped."

An hour or so later Olivia began to have really hard contractions a lot closer together.

"I think I'm ready for the epidural now," she whimpered as the doctor entered the room.

"I just called for one," her doctor said lifting the sheet over Olivia's knees. "I just need to check you first."

Elliot watched nervously as the doctor examined Olivia. She called the nurse over to her and whispered something to her and the nurse left the room.

"What is going on?" Elliot asked looking down at the doctor. "Is she going to get the epidural stuff?"

"I'm afraid not, Olivia you are fully dilated. It is time to start pushing."

* * *

In the waiting room Maureen paced the floor. "This is crap," Kathleen said standing up to move toward the hall where Olivia's room was.

"Kathleen, we can't go back there."

"It has been almost fourteen hours since Olivia came here and about two hours since we heard anything. I'm going back there to see what is going on."

"How are you going to get past her," Maureen said pointing to the nurse sitting at the desk.

"I have an idea."

They stood at the door and watched waiting for a few nurses to enter the hall and leave the desk unattended, then one by one Kathy and all of the children snuck past the desk and down the hall to wait outside Olivia's room. They listened to the voices inside as Olivia began to push.

"She's pushing, that means she is close, right mom?"

"It could be anytime now," Kathy told the kids as they all listened from the outside of the door.

* * *

Inside, Olivia was tired and had been pushing for over twenty minutes now and still no baby. She was tired and getting a little cranky and just ready for it all to be over with.

"Olivia, here comes another contraction. I need you to push as hard as you can."

"I have been," she snapped without thinking.

"Baby, we have to focus. Find something to focus on, like they taught us in that class."

"I was supposed to bring a picture to look at, but it is at home."

"We could turn on the television," Elliot suggested.

"No TV!" Olivia growled as she pushed once more.

"What about some music?" The nurse suggested reaching for the radio. "Something relaxing to help take your mind off the pain?" She turned on the radio and tuned it to the only station that would come in, an oldies station that was playing a song by the Jackson Five.

"I hate the Jackson Five!" Olivia snapped as she pushed through another contraction.

"Olivia, come on. Focus. Listen to the song and breathe. This is all going to be over soon. We are almost there." Elliot said looking into her eyes. "You have to push."

Olivia stared at him for a moment just trying to catch her breath as Elliot began to hum the tune of the song, jumping into the chorus somewhere in the middle.

"I'll reach out my hand to you…."

She glared at him annoyed for a moment.

"I'll have Faith in all you do….. Just call my name and I'll be there."

Olivia cried out and began to push again as Elliot continued singing, this time the doctor and nurses joining in.

"I'll be there to comfort you….Build my world of dreams around you…."

"I'm so glad that I found you…." Olivia began as she awaited the next contraction.

The nervous voices in the delivery room began to spill over into the hallway of eager youngsters.

"Whenever you need me, I'll be there…" Elliot continued. "Olivia listen," he said as they heard the voices of the children singing along from the hallway.

Olivia smiled with tears in her eyes and panted as she prepared to push again.

"Good girl, Olivia. Just a couple more. I can see the baby's head."

She closed her eyes and listened to the singing voices and focused on her breathing as she pushed through another hard contraction.

"I'll be there….I'll be there…."

"Just call my name…." Elliot stopped singing and held his wife's hand tight as she pushed one more big push and the kids continued singing the last few words of the song.

As they faded out they heard the first cries of their baby sister from the other side of the door. The kids jumped around full of excitement giving high fives to nurses and strangers in the hall as they waited for someone to tell them it was alright to enter.

Elliot kissed his wife and hugged her tight and they watched as the nurses weighed and cleaned up their baby girl. A nurse wrapped the baby in a little pink blanket and handed her to Olivia.

"Hi Maci," she whispered through tears as the brown eyed baby looked up at them.

"She is so beautiful, Liv. And she looks just like you."

Olivia held Elliot's hand and cried. "I have never been happier than I am right now," she whispered through her tears. "I love you so much," she said kissing her husband.

"I love you, too angel. And I love you, Maci." Elliot kissed his daughter for the first time as he combed his fingers through her dark brown hair. "Daddy's little girl is finally here," he whispered with tears in his eyes.

"Maci Lynn Stabler was born January fifth at 5:58pm. She weighs five pounds thirteen ounces and it twenty and a half inches long. She is a beautiful and healthy baby girl."

Elliot kissed his baby and then his wife. "You feel up to having a few visitors?"

"I think they want to meet their baby sister," Olivia said kissing the baby as Elliot handed her to her mother.

"I love you both so much," he said wiping tears from his eyes.

"We love you, too."

He made his way to the door and opened it to look into the hall. "We have to keep the noise down guys and Olivia is very tired so this visit will have to be a short one. I thought you guys would like to come in and meet your baby sister, Maci." He watched as all of the children smiled.

Elliot pushed the door open and lingered toward the back of the room as the kids got their first peek at the newest member of the Stabler clan. He looked at the kids noticing they all sported 'It's A Girl' pins on their shirts.

"Here dad," Dickie said handing him a box of pink bubble gum cigars. "I figured in all of the rush, you didn't have time to pick them up yourself."

Elliot smiled and hugged his son as he handed out the 'It's A Girl' cigars to everyone in sight, holding back a handful for his buddies from the precinct.

"Look Preston," Maureen said holding him up to see the new baby, "sissy is finally here."

Preston smiled and waved at the baby as he giggled. "Give Maci kisses," Maureen said as she lowered him slowly down beside the little girl. Preston smiled and stared at her fascinated by the tiny creature in his mother's arms.

"Give her a kiss Preston," Olivia said softly as her son leaned forward kissing his baby sister softly on the top of her head.

"Awww," nearly everyone in the room cooed.

Then Preston pointed at Olivia. "Maa," he said with a big grin as he kissed his mommy, too.

"I love you too, buddy."

"You're a big brother now," Dickie said as he patted Preston on the top of his head. "Eli and I can show you a few things, but I think you are gonna be a pretty good one."

Soon Kathy had left with the children and the nurse had taken Maci to the nursery so Elliot and Olivia could get some rest. After a many fears and worries of a stressed pregnancy and sixteen and a half hours of labor….after giving up all hope of ever conceiving a baby and adopting their son….after a full family serenade, Elliot and Olivia finally had their healthy baby girl.


	23. 23 Mr Mom

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Twenty Three: Mr. Mom)_

Olivia moaned softly as her daughter began to cry again. "Two hours this time," she said softly looking at the clock in the darkness. "That's a new record Maci," she said as she sat up and pulled on her robe.

She moved across the room and scooped up her little girl from the bassinette. "It's okay sweetheart, mommy is here." Olivia laid the baby girl gently against her collarbone and patted her on the back as she slipped the pacifier into Maci's mouth.

"Everything alright?" Elliot asked as he sat up in the bed.

"We're fine, daddy. She just needs changed and I'm going to take her into her room and nurse her for a little while."

"Is it even time to feed her again?"

"Not yet. But she is awake now. If I wait to feed her then she will be awake again in an hour or so. I am hoping that if I feed her now, she will go back to sleep for a few hours."

"I don't remember Preston getting up this much."

"Preston was also on formula from the start. The doctor said that formula is heavier and stays with them longer. But breast milk is better for her. We didn't have that option with Preston."

"You pumped earlier, do you want me to get up with her?"

"No, I'm alright. I like having the alone time with her. I am just so tired. But after the first week or so we will have a routine and it will be easier on she and I both. Right now neither of us really know what we are doing."

Elliot leaned across the bed to where his wife sat to kiss his baby girl on the top of her little head. "She is so beautiful. And she looks so much like her mama," he said with a smile. "Daddy loves you Maci," he whispered as she stared up at him with Olivia's brown eyes.

"I'm gonna go rock her. You should try to go back to sleep."

Olivia walked down the hall with little Maci in her arms. She opened Preston's bedroom door and peeked over the crib rail to check on him. She reached down with one hand and gently tucked his blanket around him as she held Maci in her other arm.

She walked back out of his bedroom as she pulled the door shut behind her and headed for Maci's nursery. Inside, Olivia turned on the night light beside the changing table and laid the baby down on the changing table. She changed her diaper and zipped her back up in her little pink sleeper, then stood beside the crib to wind the mobile.

Olivia sat in the rocking chair and nursed her daughter as they listened to the soft music from the butterfly and dragon fly mobile over the baby's crib. She hummed softly to Maci as the baby girl stared up at her. Before long she had finished nursing and Olivia burped the little girl. She rocked the baby gently against her shoulder as she rubbed her back and hummed nursery rhymes to her and within moments, Maci was asleep once more.

Olivia carried the baby girl back into their room and laid her down in the bassinette beside their bed. "There now," she whispered, "that wasn't so bad."

She slipped back into bed and tried to catch a few more hours of sleep before it was time to get up with Maci again.

* * *

A few hours later Olivia opened her eyes as Preston began to cry in the next room. It had barely been an hour since the last time she had gotten up with Maci and she hadn't even had time to completely fall back to sleep yet.

"Mommy's coming buddy," she said softly.

"I've got him," Elliot said sitting up in the bed and turning off Preston's monitor so his crying wouldn't wake little Maci.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," You have been up with her almost all night. "Preston can hang out with daddy for a little guy time. I will get him some Cheerios and a sippy cup of milk, turn on some cartoons and we are good for a few hours."

"That would be amazing babe," she said with a soft yawn.

Elliot kissed her tenderly and made his way into Preston's room to get him up. He changed and dressed his son and carried him into the living room. Elliot sat Preston down and pulled out a laundry basket full of his toys to occupy him. He turned on cartoons and went to the kitchen to fix his little boy some breakfast.

A few moments later Elliot returned with Preston's milk and cereal to find his son was missing from the living room.

"Great. Preston, where are you?"

He walked back down the hallway to find the nine and a half month old as he sat in the middle if a pile of baby wipes and pulled them one at a time from the container adding to the pile.

"Preston, no!" Elliot knelt down and offered Preston a truck in exchange for the container of baby wipes to prevent crying when he took them away.

He closed the container and sat it back up on the changing table as he picked up the twenty or so wipes that were scattered in the floor. He moved into the bathroom tossing them in the trash can then returned to Preston's room. He took his son by the hand and helped him to his feet. Elliot held him by the hand as he walked the little boy into the living room to eat his breakfast.

Elliot had just sat down with his cup of coffee to watch some cartoon with a talking tomato, when he heard his daughter cry from the other room. He looked down at Preston who was completely caught up in his show and slipped down the hall to get the baby girl.

"Daddy's here baby," he said softly as he picked her up.

"I can get her, El."

"No, I've got her. You are supposed to be resting."

"Everything okay in there?"

"Yeah, we're watching cartoons and drinking coffee."

She tipped her head at him and smiled.

"He is watching cartoons, I am drinking coffee. There is some show with a talking tomato," he looked confused.

"Veggie Tales," she said with a smile. "Preston loves it."

"I think he is mesmerized by the singing produce."

"That is his DVD, El. Cartoons are on the channels in the one hundreds if you want to find something else."

"Whatever makes him happy."

Olivia smiled. "Are you sure you have it all under control?"

"Sure do. I'm gonna go get Maci changed and I will warm her up a bottle. That should buy you an hour or so at least. Then I will make you brunch."

"That sounds good."

"I'd better get back in there before our son tears the house down."

Olivia laughed. "Thank you, honey. If you need help just let me know."

Elliot kissed her and carried Maci down the hall to check on Preston.

"He is still occupied. Let's get you changed baby doll," Elliot said smiling at his four day old daughter.

Maci stirred a little and made a soft whimpering noise.

"I know baby. Daddy will fix it."

He laid her on the changing table in her room and changed her diaper. He wiped her down with a baby wipe and put some lotion on her arms and legs then put her in a little white sleeper with pink kittens on it. He picked her up and held her close to him as he sat a bottle of breast milk down in warm water to heat it up.

Elliot carried Maci to sit on the sofa and gave her a bottle as they watched Veggie Tales with Preston.

"There is a cucumber, too? What in the world is this?"

When Maci had finished her bottle, Elliot burped her and soon she was asleep once more. He finished his cup of coffee as Preston fell asleep and he found a ball game on television.

A few hours later Elliot fixed Maci another bottle then sat her in her little bouncy seat on the kitchen counter as he began to fix lunch for Olivia. Preston was playing and drinking a cup of grape juice as he watched Handy Manny on television.

Elliot laughed as his son began to dance around to the theme song as the show came on. He rinsed off some fresh fruit and began to slice it up on a plate, then took some grilled chicken breast left over from dinner a few nights back and cut it up to make a fresh chicken salad with baby spinach and real bacon bits. He tossed in some shredded cheese and some diced tomato. Elliot was trying to think of what else to add to the salad when an awful smell began to linger in the room.

He scrunched his nose up and looked at the baby as she stared at him with her little brown eyes.

"Good Lord, please tell me that smell did not come from you."

Elliot turned his attention to Preston as he stood beside the footstool and watched his show.

"Preston? Do you need a new diaper, buddy?" He asked as his son looked back at him.

"Okay, one of you guys is in bad need of a diaper change. Who is the culprit?"

Elliot picked Maci up from her seat and smelled her. "Baby lotion and mommy's perfume. You're good," he said buckling her back into her seat and giving her a pacifier.

"That leaves you dude," Elliot said as he approached his son. "Whoa, good one son."

He surveyed the damage only then realizing that the mess was not confined to the diaper and his son needed to be washed down from head to toe.

"Okay, you don't move," Elliot said as he carried Maci in to Olivia.

"Liv, can you keep an eye on her for a few minutes. Preston is a mess and needs a bath."

"Did he get in to something?"

"No, he pooped. Well, poop is an understatement. She will probably be asleep again in just a few minutes. I have to get him cleaned up before something really bad happens."

Olivia smiled. "Alright."

Elliot carried his son to the bathroom where he started bath water. He pulled Preston's clothes off and cleaned him off with wipes, then sat him in the tub and soaped him up from head to toe.

"That was bad, son."

Preston smiled and splashed his boats in the bathtub. After letting him play for a little bit, Elliot dressed him and combed his hair. He carried Preston to the kitchen and picked up the tray with Olivia's lunch on it. He carried it down the hall to the bedroom as Preston walked holding on to his hand.

"There is my boy," Olivia said with a smile as Elliot helped Preston onto the bed to see his mommy. "Are you giving daddy a hard time?"

"I'd say so. First he pulled half a container of wipes out and threw them in the floor and then that little mess. But we have it all under control now mommy."

"That is good," she said kissing the top of her son's head. "What did you feed him?"

"Cheerios and milk. And some grape juice."

"How much grape juice?"

"Like three cups of it over a couple of hours."

"Did you water it down?"

"No."

"That is what did it. Grape juice is too harsh on babies his age. I mix it half and half with water when I give it to him."

"Good to know."

Olivia laughed as Elliot smiled.

"We made lunch for mommy," Elliot said handing her the tray of food and picking Maci up from the bed.

"It looks really good."

"You know, this is the first time I have actually tried to juggle both kids and other stuff around the house. I know I only had them for a few hours, but it is exhausting. She is only four days old, but still I don't know how you do it."

"I'm figuring it out a little at a time. I had you here with me the first day. Then you went back to work and today is Saturday. It will take us all a little while to adjust to being a family. But it is happening, a little at a time."

"Is this not the best moment in the world? Nobody is crying and nobody needs changed. We are just all here, together and happy."

"It is pretty great. Speaking of us all being here, the kids want to stop by later to play with Preston and visit Maci. I thought we could just take everyone out for dinner."

"Is that safe with her? She is only four days old."

"I will cover her up good. I think it will be good for all of us to get out of the apartment for a little while. And the kids have not gotten to see her since we were discharged from the hospital."

"It has only been three days, Liv."

"But I really think she had changed a lot in those three days. She already looks bigger and her hair is getting thicker. Plus, I already told them it was alright."

Elliot smiled and kissed her then kissed Maci.

"Your first family dinner Mace, what do you think about that?" He asked as she looked up at him and grunted.

Olivia smiled and laughed as she leaned in to kiss Elliot once more.


	24. 24 A Family Affair

_Illusive Perception_

_(Chapter Twenty Four: A Family Affair)_

Elliot sat on a pew during the Sunday morning church service, but he wasn't really listening to the message being delivered. Today something else was on his mind. One, two, three….he counted in his head as he stared down at Olivia and his children counting his blessings in his head. Eight, he thought to himself. Seven children and his beautiful wife, who somehow managed to make juggling the seven kids seem easy.

This woman was amazing, he thought with a smile as he watched her holding their three and a half month old daughter on her lap. And until Olivia had entered his life, Elliot had never really believed in soul mates. But every day he spent married to the worlds most perfect woman and best mother, only convinced him more that Olivia had been put on this Earth to be his.

"El," she whispered leaning over and tugging at his sleeve.

"Yeah?" he replied with a smile.

"Can you get Preston?" she asked pointing at a small pair of black dress shoes as they disappeared under the pew in front of them. "I thought you were holding him?"

"I'll get him," Elliot assured his wife. "Elizabeth," he said leaning forward to the bench in front of him where the girls sat with their mother, "get your brother for me."

Elizabeth looked down between her feet, but didn't see the toddler.

"He isn't up here, dad."

"I just saw him go under there. He has to be here somewhere, help me look."

She nodded her head and leaned over to Kathleen whispering in her ear. Kathleen nodded and knelt in the floor to look under the pew. There between she and Kathy sat her one year old baby brother pulling random items from Kathy's purse to play with before tossing them aside.

"There you are," she said softly opening her arms to Preston as he smiled and reached for her.

"Bite," he said handing her a shiny candy wrapper he had found in the purse.

"That's not food, buddy. It is just paper," she said pulling him into her lap as Kathy smiled and began to put her things back into her purse. "Oh no," Kathleen said realizing Preston had chocolate smudges on his face.

"Mom, I think he found candy in your purse."

"It appears so," Kathy said.

"A fun sized candy bar to be exact," Kathleen said holding up the shiny silver wrapper.

There was only a small disruption during the service as the girls passed their baby brother back over the pew to their father.

"What does he have all over him?" Elliot exclaimed as he stared at the gooey mess and prayed it wasn't as bad as it appeared.

"Chocolate," Elizabeth whispered.

"I'm afraid to even ask where you found chocolate," Elliot said looking at the mischievous toddler as he grinned.

He exhaled and stood up, "Liv," he whispered, "pass me the diaper bag. I have to take him and get him cleaned up."

"What does he have all over him?" she asked looking over at her son as she handed Elliot the bag.

"Word on the street is it's chocolate. I'm not quite sure where it came from, but I will do some further investigating and get to the bottom of it."

"Do you want me to take him and you can sit with her?" she asked.

Elliot looked down at the little boy squirming to free himself from his fathers grip. _Tempting_, he thought, observing the mess he was about to have to clean up. He looked back at Maci now sleeping peacefully in Olivia's arms and didn't have the heart to wake the baby for the hand off.

"I've got him. It shouldn't take long."

"Please try not to get that on his suit. I just had it cleaned."

"We'll be right back," Elliot whispered as he carried his son to the back of the room and into the bathroom to clean him up.

He sat Preston on the counter to survey the damage.

"You are a mess, son."

Preston smiled a chocolate smile as Elliot wiped off his hands with baby wipes. He carefully slipped the child out of his suit jacket and set it aside, then reached for more wipes.

"You have it in your ear! How did you manage to get it in your ear?"

Preston giggled as Elliot wiped him clean and slipped his jacket back on him.

"There," he said turning to throw away the pile of dirty wipes.

He straightened Preston's little clip on tie and smoothed back stray strands of his brown hair with water.

"There we go buddy. All better. Daddy loves you so much," he said kissing his son on the forehead. "We'd better get back out there before mommy comes looking for us."

"Mom," Preston repeated pointing toward the door.

"And you'd better hope for both our sakes that you didn't ruin your appetite. Mommy is really looking forward to this lunch."

"Mommm," he insisted pointing to the door again.

"Alright, lets go find mom," Elliot said putting his son on the ground and holding his hand as they walked back out to where Olivia sat.

"Mom," Preston squealed with a smile and clapped his hands as he did his best to run to Olivia.

"Shhh," Elliot said looking around them as the rest of the room seemed to find the interruption more adorable than annoying.

"Come on buddy," Olivia said helping Preston to climb onto the pew and sit beside her.

After church Elliot and Olivia had arranged a cook out in the back yard at Kathy's house with balloons and a Blue's Clues cake to celebrate Preston's first birthday. Elliot stood at the back of the car changing his son from his church clothes into play clothes for the party.

"This is great," Elliot said to his wife as they approached the party area.

"You don't think I went a little overboard? Is the jump house too much?"

"Not at all. But where is the clown?"

"What clown?"

"It's a birthday party, isn't there supposed to be a clown?"

"Not at my kids parties. I hate clowns! They freak me out."

"You are afraid of clowns?"

"_Afraid_ is an understatement," she said sitting Maci's carrier on the picnic table. "I was dating this guy once who talked me into walking through a haunted house thing for Halloween one year."

"Bad idea?"

"A man dressed as a clown grabbed me in a dark room…. I punched him in the face and broke his nose."

"That is what he gets for sneaking up on you in the dark."

"Like I said, I don't like clowns. I never have and I never will."

"I think this is going to be a great party. Look how excited he is," Elliot said as Preston clapped his hands and pointed.

"See, see," the toddler said in excitement.

"I see buddy," Elliot said walking him over to play with some other kids.

"Looks like a good turn out," Kathy said helping Olivia organize the gift table. "There must be two dozen kids here."

"They are all the kids from his nursery school. And some of the older kids' friends. I've got hot dogs and hamburgers and Elliot is about to fire up the grill."

"I'll have to admit I really miss having Preston at the house all the time. Now it is just me and little Maci three days a week."

"I thought he was too young for nursery school. But Elliot put up a pretty good argument when he pointed out that it is good for him to get socialized and play with other children his age. I like the idea of the kids being there with you, but there are advantages to him going to school."

"Definitely," Kathy agreed.

"Three days a week was my agreement with Elliot. This way Preston gets to go to school and be with the other kids and still gets the one on one attention from being at your house with Maci. I really appreciate you keeping her, by the way. I was really worried I would have to put her in daycare when I went back to work and I just think she is too small."

"Well, luckily this home health care job I am doing now offers a flexible schedule. I work a few hours in the evenings and some on the weekend, it still allows me time with the kids."

"Sounds like you really like it."

"As much as you can enjoy work, I guess. I _had_ considered starting a home daycare."

Olivia smiled.

"Well, you are great with my kids. And you have plenty of experience."

"There's the birthday boy," Kathy said as Elliot carried his now crying son toward them.

"Aww, what's wrong with my boy?" Olivia asked as Preston cried and reached out for her.

"He was trying to run to keep up with the other kids. His little legs just can't keep up with him and he fell down. He's alright."

"Maa," Preston cried with little tears in his eyes.

"Come here little man," Olivia said cradling her son and patting his back to comfort him.

"I'd better get cleaned up and get the food started," Elliot said kissing his wife. "Are you okay here?"

"I've got him. He is probably just tired. He didn't get a nap."

She poured Preston a sippy cup of juice and sat down on the bench to just cuddle with him for a few minutes. Preston held his cup in one hand and sucked his thumb as he quietly watched the other kids play.

Olivia kissed him on the forehead and combed her fingers through his hair.

"Are you better now?" she whispered softly kissing her son again. "Do you want to go play in the jump house with Eli?"

Preston raised his head to look at Olivia.

"Jump," he repeated and she smiled.

"Jump?" she asked pointing across the grass the large inflatable room.

"Jump," he said pointing. "Maa, jump."

"I don't know about that buddy, maa is wearing a dress. But I can go over there with you."

Preston pointed again and smiled.

"Jump."

"Alright, let's see if daddy will keep an eye on sissy."

Olivia carried Preston around the table to check on her still sleeping daughter.

"El, can you keep an eye on her for a few minutes? I'm going to walk him over by the other kids and see if I can get him to play."

"Sure babe," he said kissing her forehead. "Are you okay now, buddy? You have to be careful, okay?"

Elliot leaned in and kissed his son's little cheek.

"Daddy loves you, birthday boy."

"Dadda," Preston said with a smile as he pointed to Elliot.

Olivia carried Preston over to where Eli played in the jump house with a couple other five and six year olds.

"Do you want to get in there and play with Eli?"

"Bubba," Preston said with a smile.

"Yeah, you get in there with bubba and mommy will be right here. Okay?"

"Bubba," Preston said smiling and clapping his hands.

Olivia called Eli to the door of the jump house and helped Preston inside.

"Hold on to his hands and be careful with him," she told Eli.

"Okay," he said as he began to bounce slowly and carefully with his little brother.

Olivia watched with a smile as Preston giggled and smiled waving at her. When he fell he crawled around inside for a while trying to stand back up. She watched for about ten minutes until Preston had decided he'd had enough of the jump house and crawled his way to the door to meet his mother.

"Was that fun?"

Preston smiled and kissed his mother. Olivia knelt down and slipped his shoes back on then stood him on his feet. She held him by the hand and walked him over to some of the other inflatable toys they had rented for the party. She held his hand as Preston climbed the steps of the child sized inflatable slide and held his hand as he slid back down.

"Yay," he squealed with a smile as he jumped back on his feet and made his way back around to go again.

Olivia laughed as she watched her happy little boy make his way up the steps all on his own the second time. After the slide they went to explore the large inflatable castle. Before had crawled his way through the colorful tunnels of the obstacle course and was contently playing in the sand box with other kids his age. She watched while Elizabeth sat down beside him and Olivia took this moment to slip away and check on Maci.

"How's the food coming along?" she asked Elliot as she returned to the table.

"Burgers are almost done and I am about to put on the hot dogs. Kathy and the girls went inside to bring start bringing out the rest of the food."

"How's my baby girl?" she asked picking up Maci from her carrier as the baby cooed.

"She has been awake for a little while. But she was content. She's been helping daddy cook lunch."

"You have?" Olivia asked kissing her daughter and raising her up to blow raspberries on her belly.

Maci smiled and laughed as she kicked her little feet.

"I'm gonna take her inside and change her. I need to make a bottle, before she gets fussy."

"Alright, but the food will be ready in a few minutes."

"We won't be long, can you check on Preston? He is in the sand box with Elizabeth and the little kids. He should be okay, I just don't want him wandering off and getting run over by the bigger kids."

"I'll check on him. Elizabeth can keep an eye on him for a few minutes."

Elliot watched as his beautiful wife placed their beautiful daughter against her shoulder and headed toward the house.

"Hey," he called to her.

"Yeah?" Olivia asked turning to look at him.

"I love you."

She smiled as he winked at her.

"Well, I love you, too."

That evening Olivia nursed Maci while Elliot gave the birthday boy a bath and put him in his pajamas. She smiled as the door to Maci's nursery opened and her toddler crawled over to her pulling himself up to stand beside the rocking chair.

"Hey handsome," Olivia said with a smile.

"Sissy," Preston said looking down at Maci.

"Sissy is about to fall asleep," she said shifting the baby girl to burp her.

"Sissy," he whispered leaning over to kiss his baby sister the way he had seen his parents do so many times.

She stood up slowly and carried Maci to her crib, tucking her into bed and turning on the monitor. She turned around to see Preston now sitting in the rocking chair with his pacifier in his mouth.

"There you are son," Elliot said as he appeared in the doorway.

"He came to kiss sissy goodnight. And now it is your turn," Olivia said picking up her son and carrying him into his room. "You smell so good after your bath," she said kissing him until he giggled. "Did daddy brush your teeth?"

"No, I didn't. Is it really a big deal?"

"Yes, it is a big deal," she said shaking her head. "You brush your teeth every night before you go to bed."

"He only has about six teeth."

"But we want them to be healthy daddy," she replied picking Preston up again and moving toward the bathroom with him. "He ate chips and hot dog and cake, those things are harsh on baby teeth."

"I would imagine. I about never got the blue icing stains off his face from the paw print cupcakes."

Olivia laughed.

"He loves Blue's Clues. And cupcakes are easier than cutting cake for that many kids."

Elliot watched as Olivia sat their son on the bathroom counter and pulled out his little Thomas The Train tooth brush. She put the toddler tooth paste on it and handed it to Preston.

"Brush your teeth," she encouraged him with a smile.

"Liv, I don't think he knows….well, I'll be damned," Elliot said in amazement as Preston put the tooth brush in his mouth and moved it over his front teeth. "How'd you do that?"

"I showed him how to do it and he watches me when I brush my teeth. I still have to make sure they all get brushed, but he has the general idea."

"Our son is so smart."

"Our daughter rolled over all by herself today," she informed him.

"She did?"

"Yeah. I laid her down in the living room floor to change her at Kathy's. I laid her on her back and turned around to grab a diaper out of the bag and she rolled over onto her belly. All by herself!"

"What a big girl! She is so smart! All of our kids are smart."

"Yes, they are," Olivia agreed putting away Preston's tooth brush.

She lowered him to the floor and held his hand walking him toward his room. She reached inside the room and turned on the light. After Preston made his way inside, Olivia turned and headed back across the hall to check on Maci.

"Goodnight baby doll," she whispered softly.

Upon returning to Preston's room she found him sitting in his rocking chair holding a story book. In the floor around him laid every one of the thirty or so books he owned and the book shelves were bare.

Olivia laughed.

"Would you like a bedtime story, little man?"

Preston sat with his pacifier in his mouth and nodded his head.

"Alright, what have you got here?" she asked sitting beside him as he climbed into her lap. "Handy Manny and the Big Race," Olivia said as she opened the book and began to read to her son.

Ten minutes later she closed the book and carried her sleeping son to his crib.

"Sweet dreams birthday boy," she whispered as she kissed him and lowered him into the bed.

"He's asleep already?" Elliot asked leaning down to put the books back on the shelf.

"He was wore out. I didn't even make it all the way through the book."

"Must have been all the partying he did today."

"Do you think he had fun?"

"I know he had fun. He had a blast."

"And it was a good party? For a one year old, I mean."

"It was perfect. He really seemed to like the slide and he got a ton of toys and books and some clothes. The kid got sixty five bucks for his first birthday. I'd say he made out like a bandit."

Olivia smiled.

"I have never planned a birthday party before, especially for a one year old. I wasn't really sure what to do."

"Well, you did well. And now that you one under your belt, Maci's party should be a breeze."

"Don't rush it. I am already having to deal with the fact that one of my babies isn't really a baby anymore, I am not ready for Maci to grow up yet. I almost cried when she rolled over."

"That is what they do, sweetheart. They are only babies for a little while."

"I know, but out of seven kids, would it hurt for one of them to stay a baby forever? Just one."

Elliot laughed and rubbed her shoulders as she climbed into bed.

"It just doesn't work that way. Take advantage of it while it lasts. Before long these two will be in high school, Eli will be in college and the older kids will all be married with kids of their own."

"You're going to make me cry, El. I feel so old."

"You're not old, baby."

"I'm getting there."

"That was part of the deal. Raising our babies and growing old together."

"I guess if I _have_ to get old, at least I get to do it with you," she said turning off the bedside lamp.

"Oh baby," Elliot growled as he slipped his arms around his wife and kissed the side of her neck, "you are what keeps young."


End file.
